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Thoughts on neighbours being aggressive

128 replies

fitzy73 · 16/07/2017 20:07

Just wanted some advice and feedback.

We have a football mad six year old boy, who regularly plays football out in our garden. He is not allowed to hit the ball deliberately off the fence on either side, but of course it happens from time to time.

Our neighbours on the right have started to get really shirty about this in the last few weeks. First it was comments over the wall, and then I got a knock on the door from the bloke asking me to stop DS hitting "his" fence. I politely told him that he doesn't do it deliberately, and if he caused any damages I would pay for it. He was rude and aggressive, but I have manners and was firm but basically told him to wind his neck in.

I was out this evening, and my son had a friend over, and while playing football they two were repeatedly shouted at. At that stage my wife asked next door what the problem was, and my wife plus next door had a massive barmy at the front of the house.

During this, the bloke threatened to "kick the sh*t" out my son if he kicked the ball against his fence again. They also accused us of being stuck up snobs with a spoilt child blah blah blah.

I suppose it's lucky I was out, as god only knows what I would have done. I'm not a violent person, but I'm not going to back down if someone threatens my son. He is only six and is playing football in his back garden - I can't see what is wrong with that! In the average half an hour he is out there the ball might hit off their fence two or three times.

They are horrible, horrible people who no one locally talks to (sods law we are beside them) but I loathe to move because I like where I live and all our other neighbors are lovely.

I'm considering reporting him to the police, but that may exaperate the situation. However, if he says something in front of me I will probably lose my temper ....

Any advice?

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 16/07/2017 20:10

They sound vile
BUT balls constantly kicked at fences is excrutiating.

tumblejumble · 16/07/2017 20:11


If your annoyed by how much your neighbour complains then how annoying its it to have someone kick a ball at your fence that much.

tumblejumble · 16/07/2017 20:11

People like to leave their back doors open for air in peace

GirlOnATrainToShite · 16/07/2017 20:12

Take your son to the local park with his football.

Problem solved.

Nicknacky · 16/07/2017 20:12

Stop your son kicking the ball off the fence. Offering to pay for damage caused isn't quite the point, you should be preventing damage.

What he said clearly wasn't right but you say yourself it was a massive barney with your wife and things were probably said in anger.

StarryCorpulentCunt · 16/07/2017 20:13

YABVVU. Ball games are not for gardens. If it ever hits the fence then the garden is too small. Balls being kicked and hitting the fence is annoying as fuck. No wonder he is at the end of his tether.

MabelFurball · 16/07/2017 20:13

YABU - Take your kid to the park for a kick-about.

RainbowPastel · 16/07/2017 20:14

It would drive me mad to hear the constant thud of a football so YABU.

Namechangetempissue · 16/07/2017 20:14

They sound dreadful -and threatning violence against a 6 year old is just awful. I do agree than constantly thumping footballs against fences is a horrible sound and really annoying though. Can you put up a net along the fence so he can play football but any stray kicks will be caught and not bang? It shouldn't cost a lot and would mean you wouldn't have to deal with them again Flowers

Seryph · 16/07/2017 20:14

That is not the way to deal with it, BUT if your child can't play nicely without disturbing them then maybe you should save football for the park and play something else in the garden.

AngelaTwerkel · 16/07/2017 20:15

It would drive me mad too, but saying you'd "kick the shit" out of a SIX YEAR OLD is completely disproportionate!

Whosthemummynow · 16/07/2017 20:16


Namechangetempissue · 16/07/2017 20:16

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Or similar?

swapsicles · 16/07/2017 20:16

I doubt it's just the ball hitting the fence that's the issue.
It's the constant bouncing over and over and over again accompanied by yelling and shouting all the way through it too.
Small boys and football's are never quiet!

SolomanDaisy · 16/07/2017 20:17

Ridiculous responses to this. No wonder British kids don't get enough exercise when a six year old playing with a football in the back garden for half an hour is considered unreasonable.

OP, your neighbours sound dreadful and if anyone threatened to kick the shit out of my child I would certainly tell the police.

kiwiscantfly · 16/07/2017 20:18

YANBU, gardens are for playing in!

Violetcharlotte · 16/07/2017 20:18

I had this with my neighbours when my boys were little. They shouted at them really aggressively while I was out and a baby sitter was looking after them. When I went round and spoke to them the next day they said they were sick of the noise and banging against the fence. I think I didn't really notice it, when you had small boys you become immune to noise!

So in fairness, it probably is really annoying, BUT they shouldn't have been so aggressive!


Bergamot2017 · 16/07/2017 20:20

Could you not take your son to the park to play football now and again or perhaps buy a softer ball which does not make so much noise?

Also telling someone to wind their neck in for making a perfectly reasonable request (in my opinion) could be also construed as a little aggressive no?

DisorderedAllsorts · 16/07/2017 20:20

Call the police on none emergency number 101 & report your neighbour for making a violent threat against your 6 year old son.

LostinCosta · 16/07/2017 20:21

Your neighbour sounds vile. His reaction is ott BUT........ i live nextdoor to a family with a young football mad boy who plays footie in the garxen snd sccidently hits our house wall and garden fence and it drives me absolutely insane. My heart dinks every time i see/hear him in the garden as i know no matter how careful he is i will be on the revriving end of his ball hitting my wall and fence. Its very very annoying. So far ive not said anything as trying my best to be neighbourly but its driving us so so mad its only a matter of time before i will have to mention it.
This is the kind of annoyance that builds snd builds and becomes more noticeable and annoying.
Take your son to the park more often for a kick around to at least reduce the frequency.

Cabawill · 16/07/2017 20:22

We have 3 "football mad" boys next door. It's fucking hell on earth. They damaged our original fence so we replaced it with sturdier panels that are also now broken and bowed. They bought goals recently which has helped a little.

The constant thud of the ball then crash into the fence is so frustrating and annoying. I have two children and if they want to play football we go to the field across the road or park around the corner 2 mins away. Gardens are way too small to play proper footie surely?

Violetcharlotte · 16/07/2017 20:22

Call the Police? Seriously? Don't you think they had more important things to do than waste time on neighbour disputes? Hmm

BewareOfDragons · 16/07/2017 20:22

YANBU. It's what family homes and gardens are for. Children SHOULD be outside playing, and parents can't always sit at the park so they can play there.

He is six. Your NDN threatened to kick the shit out of a six year old. I would call the police for advice.

ConstanceCraving · 16/07/2017 20:23

You're in the wrong OP. The garden is not a place to play football in in you have neighbours either side.

The neighbour sounds like he's end the end of his rope tbh.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 16/07/2017 20:23

it was comments over the wall, and then I got a knock on the door from the bloke asking me to stop DS hitting "his" fence. I politely told him that he doesn't do it deliberately, and if he caused any damages I would pay for it. He was rude and aggressive, but I have manners and was firm but basically told him to wind his neck in.

YOU are the neighbour from hell. Pay for the damage? Stop your offspring from ruining someone elses enjoyment of their property. As others have suggested, got to the park and stop lazy parenting

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