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Thoughts on neighbours being aggressive

128 replies

fitzy73 · 16/07/2017 20:07

Just wanted some advice and feedback.

We have a football mad six year old boy, who regularly plays football out in our garden. He is not allowed to hit the ball deliberately off the fence on either side, but of course it happens from time to time.

Our neighbours on the right have started to get really shirty about this in the last few weeks. First it was comments over the wall, and then I got a knock on the door from the bloke asking me to stop DS hitting "his" fence. I politely told him that he doesn't do it deliberately, and if he caused any damages I would pay for it. He was rude and aggressive, but I have manners and was firm but basically told him to wind his neck in.

I was out this evening, and my son had a friend over, and while playing football they two were repeatedly shouted at. At that stage my wife asked next door what the problem was, and my wife plus next door had a massive barmy at the front of the house.

During this, the bloke threatened to "kick the sh*t" out my son if he kicked the ball against his fence again. They also accused us of being stuck up snobs with a spoilt child blah blah blah.

I suppose it's lucky I was out, as god only knows what I would have done. I'm not a violent person, but I'm not going to back down if someone threatens my son. He is only six and is playing football in his back garden - I can't see what is wrong with that! In the average half an hour he is out there the ball might hit off their fence two or three times.

They are horrible, horrible people who no one locally talks to (sods law we are beside them) but I loathe to move because I like where I live and all our other neighbors are lovely.

I'm considering reporting him to the police, but that may exaperate the situation. However, if he says something in front of me I will probably lose my temper ....

Any advice?

OP posts:
PearlyPinkNails · 16/07/2017 20:42

My neighbours kick their ball against the fence for hours, doesn't bother me at all, they are having fun.

Tell them to go fuck themselves

deblet · 16/07/2017 20:43

Its all about teaching your child to have respect for others. Basically having a child playing football in their garden is annoying. It comes down to who has the right to enjoy the garden more and why should it be your child and not them?I have a trampoline and my son only uses it at certain times so my neighbours don't have to put up with the constant squeaking . When my step sons stayed every weekend both footie mad I sat in the park for bloomin hours so they could play. Children don't rule the world and others are allowed to use and enjoy their gardens. It's surely about compromise.

helenfagain · 16/07/2017 20:43

Get a foam ball. But your neighbour is completely out of order threatening a 6 year old! I would be going round and speaking to them explaining that you plan to get a foam ball but threats against children will not be tolerated. Going to the police is a bit much imho.

Palomb · 16/07/2017 20:44

YANBU, gardens are for playing in!

No, they're not. Gardens are for everyone to enjoy in their own way. No man, woman or child should be able to make so much noise that it's detracts from anyone's else peaceful enjoyment. Very British!

The op's neighbour sounds like an objectionable cunt but balls being kicked off the fence to make a hideous noise and the OP must be ab,e to hear it to.

Kids can play quietly.

Mumofone1970 · 16/07/2017 20:44

I would report for the threat.
Gardens are for kids to play in - ridiculous to not want them to just because they want quiet! Don't live in terraced houses!

fitzy73 · 16/07/2017 20:44

Wow. Some incredible responses.

For reference, the ball (it's a foam one!) hits the fence two or three times when he plays football. Which is max 3 times a week.. the other times we go to the park.

The majority seem to think that It's not acceptable for a six year old to play football in his own back garden and to have a neighbour threatened a a six year old?? Really??

BTW there is no damage on their fence. If there was, I would replace it.

OP posts:
JennyOnAPlate · 16/07/2017 20:45

It's not him that's the problem op. You're massively unreasonable to allow your son to kick a ball into the fence.

Mablethorpe · 16/07/2017 20:46

YANBU. Tell them to get lost.

Do what you like in your garden, as someone upthread said, it's no wonder kids these days are not getting enough exercise with twats like this about.

FrancisCrawford · 16/07/2017 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EllieMentry · 16/07/2017 20:47

Children playing outside is lovely and it's good for them. It's not okay to threaten to hurt a child under any circumstances.

However, it's bloody annoying having balls kicked against your fence repeatedly. We had several summers in a row ruined by children in a neighbouring garden doing this. The balls used to come flying over into our garden a lot. It was a pain, especially when we were trying to eat outside. Even worse was when the dad joined in as he kicked the ball really hard.

Our children were the same age and we used to take them to the park over the road for a kickabout as our gardens are tiny. A bit of consideration never goes amiss.

Nicknacky · 16/07/2017 20:47

freddie Yes I am.

sodablackcurrant · 16/07/2017 20:49

Neighbour might be the poster.

chibsortig · 16/07/2017 20:50

if gardens aren't for children to play in why on earth do they put them on family homes?
I have a massive garden however am i supposed to sit 2 miles away in the local park with no facilities all day so my children can play out?
I doubt a 6 year old is out all day and night playing football so i think your neighbours should wind their necks in.

ConstanceCraving · 16/07/2017 20:50

A foam ball wouldn't make a noise if it hit the fence. Something doesn't add up.

heychick · 16/07/2017 20:51

If the child was deliberately kicking the ball against the fence, fair enough to complain - but that's not the case. What madness is it that children can't play in their own garden? Children make a noise, that's the nature of the beast! A little tolerance wouldn't go amiss. And threatening to kick the shit out of a six year old? Would people be so dismissive if it had been aimed at their child?

Freddystarshamster · 16/07/2017 20:55

Nicknacky It was clearly too much to hope that you were just a more sensible MOP! Wink

Moussemoose · 16/07/2017 20:55

Children playing outside can reasonably incite someone to threaten them!

This is a deeply unreasonable suggestion. Children play games, this is entirely normal. Children make noise this is entirely normal.

Threatening to 'kick the shit' out of a child for hitting a foam ball against a fence is voilent, unreasonable and anti social.

I live in a normal street where children play ball games on the street and in gardens. Sometimes the kids make noise, it's nice, it's normal, it's the sound of humanity.

MsJudgemental · 16/07/2017 20:56

We have some near-neighbours whose children SCREAM constantly when they're out in the garden, usually followed by loud crying when something goes wrong. Gardens are for everyone to enjoy, especially on a warm summer's afternoon, and children should be brought up to play without causing excessive noise and nuisance to everyone else. Having a ball constantly banging would drive anyone mad. Buy a goal or make him go to the park.

Nicknacky · 16/07/2017 20:57

freddy Does it make a difference that I have been out of uniform for a few years and it's been a long time since I dealt with a neighbour complaint lol?! That must make me almost a normal MOP!!

Only1scoop · 16/07/2017 20:57

Child just has one 'foam' ball hhhmmmm

user1497480444 · 16/07/2017 20:59

but of course it happens from time to time

how completely selfish of you. Of course a ball hitting a fence doesn't "happen from time to time"

you are the parent, you are 100% responsible for ensuring the ball is never in the vicinity of the fence, EVER

back gardens are NOT the place for football

fitzy73 · 16/07/2017 21:03

For context, I should add that our lovely neighbours have been putting on a extension for the last 2 years (he's doing it himself). So we've had banging and clattering at all hours, including early on a Sunday at 7 am!

Further their kids play keyboard and drums down the back of their garden.

We appreciate that we live in suburban London, and these things happen, and have never complained about either the building work or the instruments.

Yet a foam ball 10 times a week causes a massive row!

OP posts:
youaredeluded · 16/07/2017 21:03

YABU. No one except you thinks your 6 year old is cute. If he can't play in the garden without constantly annoying the neighbours by kicking the ball on the wall, then he needs to stop. Can't you take him to the park?

HotelEuphoria · 16/07/2017 21:04

I don't believe the foam ball either. They don't make noise and don't damage fences. Kicking a standard ball 2-3 times a game, played several times a week against someone else's fence is fucking annoying and shouldn't happen at all. The fact this is your snowflake doing it, you will pay for damage and he is six is irrelevant.

YABU sorry, no excuse for the neighbour being nasty but you aren't getting the message.

user1497480444 · 16/07/2017 21:05

Wow. Some incredible responses.

no, the responses are not incredible, you are just absolutely in the wrong. Of course children can play in gardens, and be noisy, and have fun, but NOT football, and NOT hitting a neighbours fence.

Its totally unreasonable to just say if it gets damaged you will pay to fix it. What about the total nuisance in the mean time? What about if the ball goes into someone else's garden and hits someone or something? What if the fence is cracked and you can't afford to fix it?

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