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Thoughts on neighbours being aggressive

128 replies

fitzy73 · 16/07/2017 20:07

Just wanted some advice and feedback.

We have a football mad six year old boy, who regularly plays football out in our garden. He is not allowed to hit the ball deliberately off the fence on either side, but of course it happens from time to time.

Our neighbours on the right have started to get really shirty about this in the last few weeks. First it was comments over the wall, and then I got a knock on the door from the bloke asking me to stop DS hitting "his" fence. I politely told him that he doesn't do it deliberately, and if he caused any damages I would pay for it. He was rude and aggressive, but I have manners and was firm but basically told him to wind his neck in.

I was out this evening, and my son had a friend over, and while playing football they two were repeatedly shouted at. At that stage my wife asked next door what the problem was, and my wife plus next door had a massive barmy at the front of the house.

During this, the bloke threatened to "kick the sh*t" out my son if he kicked the ball against his fence again. They also accused us of being stuck up snobs with a spoilt child blah blah blah.

I suppose it's lucky I was out, as god only knows what I would have done. I'm not a violent person, but I'm not going to back down if someone threatens my son. He is only six and is playing football in his back garden - I can't see what is wrong with that! In the average half an hour he is out there the ball might hit off their fence two or three times.

They are horrible, horrible people who no one locally talks to (sods law we are beside them) but I loathe to move because I like where I live and all our other neighbors are lovely.

I'm considering reporting him to the police, but that may exaperate the situation. However, if he says something in front of me I will probably lose my temper ....

Any advice?

OP posts:
Namechangetempissue · 16/07/2017 20:24

Foam ball?

MrsChopper · 16/07/2017 20:24

Whilst I do not co done their reaction, it would be very annoying to have to listen to the thid of a football against the fence on such a regular basis. It's not about damage to the fence at all. More that the noise is a nuisance. Like pp said, take your kid to the park for a kick about.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 16/07/2017 20:24

Gardens are for playing football in, whoever said otherwise ^ is talking bollocks.

Yes, hitting a ball against a fence is very annoying,threatening to hit a child is completely over reacting .

DisorderedAllsorts · 16/07/2017 20:26

Violetcharlotte yes I would call the police because the ndn threatened to beat the shit out of him the next time he did it.

AngelaTwerkel · 16/07/2017 20:26

I can't believe what I'm reading, to be honest. All these people siding with an adult who has threatened to kick the shit out of a child?!

ColdAsIceCubes · 16/07/2017 20:27

Amen Soloman! My neighbours on both sides (70+ and 90+) say how nice it is to see my children playing and how they remember their children doing the same (my 90+ neighbours ds comes around every day and says how lovely it is to see children enjoying the outside).

Shoxfordian · 16/07/2017 20:28

Don't call the police

Obviously it's a really annoying noise and you don't seem to have any intention of preventing it being so noisy so I can see why your neighbour was annoyed

Straycatblue · 16/07/2017 20:29

So your son has been kicking a ball against their fence for at least several weeks and at least 2 or 3 times every time he plays football according to your post.
Accidental or not, that is utterly annoying. YABU and very antisocial.
Im glad Im not your neighbour. Its not even always about damage, its about how annoying it is.

Whilst they obviously shouldnt have threatened violence i can imagine they were at the end of their tether with your sons behaviour.
If you cant control your son kicking balls and disturbing them then as another poster has said - take him to the park to play football.

Imagine this as a reverse, ie my neighbour son repeatedly kicks balls against the fence even tho we have asked them to stop...........

ColdAsIceCubes · 16/07/2017 20:29

Wow, still over reaction much?

ConstanceCraving · 16/07/2017 20:29

I don't think anyone has sided with the neighbour. But most can understand his frustration. Of course he's in the wrong to threaten a child but his parents are as wrong for allowing him to keep kicking the fence!

YNK · 16/07/2017 20:29

A grown man threatening to kick the shit out of a child is way out of proportion!
I agree with logging this with the police too!

blaaake · 16/07/2017 20:29

Ball games are not for gardens.

Grin really ? Personally I think the garden is one of the most appropriate places for ball games. Baffled at posters defending a man who threatened to kick the shit out of a six year old.

Op, get a foam ball as PP suggested. Doubt the police would be interested

Freddystarshamster · 16/07/2017 20:31

I agree with logging this with the police too!

What exactly do you think "logging" it with the police entails, and what would it achieve?

Bluntness100 · 16/07/2017 20:34

Wrongs on both sides I think. It is annoying to hear a ball thudding against a fence and if he has asked twice before I can see how someone could get wound up of it just didn't stop. If they were shoutIng repeatedly then it suggests the ball was repeatedly hitting their fence, till eventually they snapped and came round. However clearly he shouldn't have said what he said.

To be fair though, I think you were out of line telling him you wouldn't stop it but pay for damages, you know it probably won't cause any damage and if it did you'd be liable anyway so hardly being magnanimous. Really you just said no to him.

viques · 16/07/2017 20:35

Why not make the garden the place your son practices 'skills' keepie up pie , dribbling, going in and out of cones etc. And the park the place you take him for kicking practice.

Nicknacky · 16/07/2017 20:35

Exactly freddie.

I have no idea why this is pushed so much on mumsnet. The guy has been out of order, no doubt about that but why can't neighbours attempt to resolve issues instead of running to the police? You all have to live there after any police involvement so better just to resolve it like adults!

Most people in the world are good, before some one comments that it might "escalate". Deal with it and move on.

Floralnomad · 16/07/2017 20:35

Your neighbour should not have got aggressive but I would imagine , like most parents , you under estimate how many times a day the ball hits the fence . This is the first summer for about 10 years that we don't have a football playing neighbour and it is bliss .

Violetcharlotte · 16/07/2017 20:37

The infamous MN 'log it with the Police' comment!

It was an empty threat said by someone in the heat of the money. He shouldn't have said it, but was probably pissed off by endless football in the garden.

It's not a Police matter. Act like grown ups and resolve it between yourselves!

fruitbrewhaha · 16/07/2017 20:38

He sounds like a right fucking arsehole.
Of course your son can kick his football about in the garden, why should he have to go to the park? If you are playing with him and booting it about, yes, the park may be better. It depends on how big your garden is really.
I would put in another layer of fence on your side. You will lose some garden. But that way he can't complain. Your son is hitting your fence, not his.
In the interim, a lighter ball could help. Or one of those balls you attach to your wrist.

Phillipa12 · 16/07/2017 20:38

I am utterly baffled that people are saying that a child should not be playing football in his own garden, yes its annoying when a ball occasionally hits the fence but then its just as annoying when a neighbours dog barks occasionally, or a child jumps up and down on a trampoline, or some one plays music a bit loud. Not everyone can get to a park, gardens are meant to be played in and neighbourhood noise is to be expected as long as it dosent get to out of hand

MikeUniformMike · 16/07/2017 20:38

I live next door to a family and their kids and the ball crashing into the fence or coming over the fence is a real nuisance. I'm all for kids playing and turn a deaf ear to the noise but the football on fence is annoying. The constant shouts for us to look for their balls and throw them back too as is the knocking on the door to ask for it back. They even stop me in the street pestering me for the ball when I'm obviously off out somewhere.
I think the parents have realised that the fence is being damaged by the balls, so far this year, the noise has been minimal.
Fingers crossed.

YNK · 16/07/2017 20:40

Surely children playing football is what a back garden is for!
If you want solitude and peace then you should choose to go and live away from any potential sign of people enjoying their garden.
It sometimes irritates me listening to lawnmowers, barbecue parties etc but I chose to live in an area where people have gardens so it's not to be unexpected.

Freddystarshamster · 16/07/2017 20:41

Nicknacky, am I right in thinking you're job?

Mustardnowletsnotbesilly · 16/07/2017 20:41

They don't need to be so rude but your son is the problem. Take him to the park.

Winterview · 16/07/2017 20:41

Sorry but I think YABU.
Your neighbour shouldn't be aggressive but he sounds (understandably) at the end of his tether.

Football isn't a game for a small garden. It makes a horrible repetitive thumping sound. Hitting someone's fence repeatedly (even by accident) is very annoying as well as causing wear and tear to their property.

Take your son to the park for football practice and use a softball in the garden, and no hard kicking until he learns not to bounce it off the fences. There are so many garden games he can do without hitting balls off fences.

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