Disgraced myself on a work night out

[ethanrayne]

Can anyone share their tales of similar drunken foolishness to make me feel better???

I can't remember most of details but according to a co worker vomiting and falling asleep in bar were involved 😳

I got sacked after a drunken lunch. I was invited to lunch with two colleagues. They spent the time trying to out do each other about who had the biggest purse/wallet , little old me had jack that day! I got extremely pissed. We went back to work. The boss called us in. I got loud & gobby (i was 18, colleagues were both in their 50's) . I was suspended then had to go back for a formal disciplinary a week later where i was sacked! The other two got off with slapped wrists!

@tazmum01 a FUNERAL?!

Oh my god !!! What did your DH say to you?

Laughed it off, but I suspect he was quite ashamed of me. Everyone was happy with the picture, because they are NEVER all together any more. Just had another DH's family funeral recently and the son got everyone together for a picture too, I think I started a trend.
Whenever I see any of his family, they joke about how much I love wine and tag me in pictures of women get smashed

I was at a work colleagues birthday party at the weekend. Tripped over my own feet in heels, went flying and was luckily caught by my husband, looks up to see the Headteacher had seen it all In my defence, there were others worse than me 😂😂😂

This descended into a slanging match? I was thing the same aquamarine! I wanted more info too lol!!

Fell asleep in the ladies at a works do. The fire alarm went off and no one could get me out. Fireman had to climb over the door, unlock it from the inside and carry me out - there was no fire.

It was a work collegues wedding, and everyone else from work got invited to the evening do (i had been on the hen do and that had gone fine, no dramas). My boss, who normally when sober is a bit of a creep (but nice, just gets a bit too close etc) kept buying me glass after glass of wine. I am a light weight and hadnt eaten much before coming anyway so way fairly drunk fairly quickly. Said boss kept conplimenting my breasts and kind of just went along with the flirting...bleh! Im normally very quiet and shy, but was dancing, flirting with alot with my boss and another collegue i fancied. Dont remenber getting home and woke up the next day, naked in my bed where my husband relayed to me that on the bus back (prebooked for guests type not public) i had projectile vomited red wine all down myself and half the bus, fell asleep and another one of my collegues had to get off the bus and get my husband to pick me up. Husband picked me up, stripped me and left my sicky clothes innthe bath for me to deal with in the morning. I have never been so mortified at my own actions in my entire life! I never normally go out or drink .

Worst thing is i had work at 6am the next morning as well and had to go in as everyone would have known why if i hadnt! Had to stand on a till for 6 hours trying not to vomit whilst my boss laughed and kept telling me how fun i was (boke). Glad i dont work there now!!

New on the job, graduate hire, firm's weekend retreat. Somehow ended up with the management crew when everyone went their separate ways - as the only non-management person there. Got totally shitfaced, danced on a table, tumbled off and ended up being carried into my hotel bed by my own manager, at which point (according to him - I literally have no memory of this) I offered him a blowjob, which he declined, thank fuck.

Most of my co-workers have had an episode at one point in time. I vividly remember walking a vomit-stained, loudly singing colleague off at home. His wife wouldn't let him in and insisted I keep him and I had to find the poor sod a hotel.

It's not so bad.

First Christmas do of my current job and it was a free bar. Never been to one in my life, so I well and truly went to town (stupidly).

I vaguely remember moments on the inflatable bucking bull (classy), while everyone looked on. Think I went on it about 4 times in a row, in a dress.

Also have flashbacks of sitting on the dancefloor steps, absolutely chewing the ear off my boss about how I have overcome adversity from my shitty childhood (really, not half as bad as some, and I never talk or think about it when I'm sober!) and I'm here right now, live and kicking in this underpaid job.

Wake up the next morning, upside down in bed which I had wet with a very angry boyfriend.

I've not drank more than three glasses of wine in a night since, and this was over two years ago...

Lololol at "just open your eyes" 😂

I did something similar on a girls' holiday. Somehow forgot I was already wearing contact lenses, put another pair in (different coloured ones) and spent half an hour wailing that I'd "drunk myself bliiiiiiiind"

My temperature boy of an ex thinks I'm a raging alkie but I haven't done a fraction of the messiness on this thread so it's been quite educational.

Temperature?

Temperance!

Great thread!

I somehow misplaced a shoe, so I walked around with one shoeless foot and one in a 5in heel. We were having post night out drinks in the hotel bar when my one shoed self tried to go out the alarmed fire exit to go for a smoke (I hadn't smoked for years ), I only didn't because a colleague put me over their shoulder, allegedly flashing my arse to all, including my boss and then they carried me up to bed. I don't remember and was fucking mortified when they gleefully filled in the gaps the next day especially because there was a judgy sober person there. Im blaming the jager bombs. Its all hilarious now but at the time I temporarily considered quitting my job but I'm still here and management now!

Oh and most importantly, still here and still drinking probably too much at work do's, but thankfully not flashing my arse

Was at Xmas do, took.a wrong turn and found myself in cleaners cupboard. Took an inexplicable liking to a particular Henry the hoover.
Spent the night trailing him around or carrying him under my arm.
That's how I woke up the next morning with Henry next to me in bed, dressed in my pajama top. I got fright of my life!
Apparently I got so tearful at idea of saying goodbye, the venue let me keep him for the night!

That is the best!

Did you shag Henry though? I think you should tell us.

Yeah... work events are always a bit of a nightmare what with the lack of food!

Networking event / wine tasting / can't remember much after the first hour / do remember falling off my bar stool and just walking out, oh and JUST managing to make it out of the station entrance before puking up.

Next day my boss was asking me about who I met etc and I had zero clue!

I am literally CRYING with laughter. Thank you all so so much. have had a shit day at work and these stories have made me laugh and laugh.
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties.....thank you. I have tears rolling down my face. I have been there too though not so much at works dos. What is The Fear??

I used to work in a university where one of the professors had an annual Christmas party. One year I got very drunk, swung off the beams in his house (an old farmhouse) in front of all partygoers, went up to his son's bedroom and tried to get off with him (failed, I think), and then stole two bottles of champagne for the way home.

I'm hoping the Prof's son was an adult, FaFoutis? 😉

Only just.

Words cannot express how much I love you lot! I'm a self professed fucking nightmare at work dos.

I've fallen asleep, ended up in A&E, lost most of an evening memory wise (prob a good thing really although I've always played the 'I know wasn't I ridiculous I'm such a bloody nightmare' card when told despite not remembering a fucking thing) but I've not yet either pissed or shat myself so I'm now taking that as a plus!!!!

I think my most hideous moment was half remembering copping off with someone (about 10 years younger than me) at a conference but I can remember bugger all about it after heading off to his room. I did, however, wake up in my own room. That's a plus right??! Except I had a massive cut above my eye (still got a scar) and a fabulous shiner on the way..... I think I'd fallen out of bed onto the bedside cabinet. What made things worse was that I was actually presenting at said conference that day. My hair was rather carefully positioned............

Oh. And at the risk of outing myself completely I broke my shoulder falling out of bed quite so spectacularly it needed surgery.

I really shouldn't be allowed out on my own but sadly my off switch seems to have done just that and fucked right off

I still haven't learned it's my leaving do next week. Fuck only knows what state I'll end up in.

Once I was doing a holiday job in a hospital pathology department (data entry type thing) and a colleague hosted a summer evening BBQ at her house. Extreme amounts of wine later I vommed in a bush and was driven home by someone's mother (I was quite young).

The next morning at work the consultant came up and asked if I was ready. I didn't know what he was talking about - it turned out that I'd agreed, while drunk, that it would be fascinating to observe a post-mortem. Cue a couple of hours of standing, extremely hungover, watching a dead person being cut open, while trying not to pass out...

This thread is the best

But I'm one of those boring fuckers who has been drunk on works do's but hasn't done anything notably bad. Thanks for the laughs though

Music to be faced this morning, had to be at another office yesterday 😖

I've always been reasonably well behaved but a colleague at one boat party got so drunk he threw up over the buffet and ended up shitting himself and all over the curtains of the (one and only) toilet on the boat.

He was given a written warning and we suspect that's why we're no longer allowed our annual boat parties

NoCanoe I have never laughed so much in ages - Brilliant!

Do you and Henry keep in touch