Disgraced myself on a work night out

[ethanrayne]

Can anyone share their tales of similar drunken foolishness to make me feel better???

I can't remember most of details but according to a co worker vomiting and falling asleep in bar were involved 😳

Ah we've all done it. At least no one's done a plaque in your honour for shitting your pants, like Scott Morrison

I always wonder if these stories are from a particular demographic. I've worked in lots of places, been to lots of nights outs, conferences, weekends away, etc, and nobody has done any of these things. I can only conclude MNers are lightweights.

These things happen

Whatever you’ve done I will have done worse

Forget about it, everyone else already has

Check out the clean shirt over here. Normal people have all been there OP

one of my colleagues is the loveliest man, quiet and calm in the office but absolutely appalling on a night out… he’s tried to kiss me… and many others… got into fights.. had to be taken home in a taxi by one of the grads… but somehow is forgiven every time. He only comes out once in a blue moon now mind you!! Don’t worry too much about it once the initial dread lifts.. xx

I’m sure they have as it was 5 years ago 🙄

Three work colleagues were invited to another colleagues very smart wedding at a rather classy venue.
One of them is renowned for mixing her drinks. She hadn’t even eaten her main course when she vomited across the table upsetting the bride’s friends who didn’t even know her and upsetting her two work colleagues who were totally embarrassed.
I don’t think the bride ever really forgave her.

Zombie thread 😂 the funniest I’ve ever seen was my absolute bitch of a sister (I’m nc with now) getting thrown out of a staff party by her own security in a holiday park she assistant manager of. She lost her job not long after that.

Did she leave?

I love these kind of threads. Even if some may be slightly over exaggerated, most are utterly hilarious. There is the usual mm headmistressy fun police of course, looking down their noses instead of having a good laugh 🤣🤣

This thread is from 2017

One of the funniest threads ever. I didn't realise it was so old. Laugh out loud. As an ex boozer I have many a tale.

The most recent was nearly a year ago and I still have 'The Fear'.
Industry awards do.
I am at a new company and asked to stand in for the owner (I am a big cheese) along with a junior member of my staff. Wanker colleague (co board member) invites himself along. I squeeze into cocktail dress with the aid of Spanx. All is well until I find myself in VIP area with free drinks. Wanker hasn't turned up so I delight in drinking a whole bottle of wine. He then arrives late. Lectures me on some shit idea of his whilst learing at all the young girls. I am steadily on bottle 2 as I am fuming with his remarks but only 7 weeks into the job. Alcohol will make it better!
I then spy my old boss (bit aggressive, but very famous in our industry) dancing. I decide I am Arleen Philips and I know everyone, so wanker can wanker off. I leave said arse to 'dance' with old boss. I am the queen of the floor, no? I skid on a spilt drink, fall flat on my arse and expose said long John pants. I am there for ages before old boss pulls me up. Bloody strong, I am big bird. All around are pissing themselves with phones out. I brave it out, jig a bit and return to the table. Wanker colleague has left and I am escorted back to the hotel where I request a night cap. Thank God the bar was closed. Next morning I do the walk of shame to breakfast and get myself home. Someone sends me a Sir Les Pattison photo.
The following week I am subject to stories of others being sick in handbags and Big Nights. Never lived it down and added a few more to that in the year I was there. New company almost teetotal, Probably wise as a 50+ pissed is not a good look. Not going to this years event incase I repeat.

I have been there and this is why I’m now teetotal. Couldn’t be doing with the shame and embarrassment

Do they do head transplants?

Have one of those.

Flooded a fancy hotel room 3 months into a job. Got woken up by maintenance who had been called by the room below due to a drip coming through their ceiling.

Still at the same company...

Get away. Why slip in here with scorn and judgement? It’s a zombie, for one. But it’s funny. And the OP was rather good natured-ly looking for support in other amusing stories.

Read the room. You’re not one of us.

That's honestly shameful. Must have cost the hotel a fortune.

Left my work Christmas party to go to a quiet pub with my new boss. Had a lovely snog before going home (we are both over 40 and married to other people). Got caught leaving quiet pub holding hands by other people from the office party. Repeated this behaviour on several work trips and on many other office nights out. The last of which was very public. 😳

A few years ago when I was 20 and just started a new job at a small firm, I was taken out on the staff piss up to a posh bar. Was woken up the next morning by a strange woman who turned out to be my manager's wife. I was in their house, lying in their bathtub, partially undressed, feeling like I'd been run over, and having wet myself. I didn't make it in to work that day. She told me I'd apparently passed out drunk on the floor of the bar after climbing on tables, throwing up in the toilets, and had to be carried out the bar. She got a phone call from her husband to come and pick him and me up as they didn't know where I lived and no one else wanted to take my unconscious arse home with them.

She helped clean me up, gave me some clean clothes and then drove me home.
I'm still working at the same firm, but they never let me go out drinking with them again.

I'm glad this zombie 🧟‍♀️ thread has been revived.

I may have posted on this thread when it was new?

Anyway, Head Of HR got her tits out at the works dinner dance and did a circuit around the room. In front of 400 colleagues.

Not me (I swear) but a young lass who’d turned 18 just before the party

she was really sweet but quiet at work

we all met up and walked down to the restaurant and I noticed her getting stuck into the wine within 5 minutes of us getting there-it was a free bar

she drank a full bottle within about half an hour,so my mate and I had a word with the boss as she was going to end up wankered

he didn’t give a stuff-just told us it was her choice if she wanted to get pissed and wandered off to perfect his shitty speech (that nobody wanted to listen to in the first place)

anyway I left early as I was at work the following morning,got to work and the gossip was in overdrive

from what I could gather,she’d got up and danced on the table while flashing her pants,had pulled her boobs out of her top,she then fell off the table,stood back up,pole danced at the end of the bar and offered the boss a bj in front of his wife-I mean tugging at his trousers trying to get to his cock

hed ran away,she then passed out in a puddle of her own vomit and the wife had to deal with her and get her home-to which her parents had to get her to hospital with alcohol poisoning

she never came back to work-she handed in her notice the next day and the useless boss denied he had any responsibility for her (which he did-but none of the others took away the booze either-they just thought it was funny)

We get warnings now-and they only pay for two drinks and if we want more,we have to pay

my own story is I got pissed up on a works night out (aged 16 cough) and I ended up getting taken home by the police-slung into the back of a van-I was bloody lucky not to get arrested

OMG, I'm dead 💀💀

We’re aware, incase you haven’t noticed it’s been mentioned many times and ignored over the last 5 years that it keeps getting reanimated. It’s a fun (mostly) light hearted thread that has a lot of funny stories, does it really matter how old it is?