Disgraced myself on a work night out

[ethanrayne]

Can anyone share their tales of similar drunken foolishness to make me feel better???

I can't remember most of details but according to a co worker vomiting and falling asleep in bar were involved 😳

This thread has been flippin' hilarious! I went to a black tie do with work very shortly after returning from maternity leave. I hadn't drunk alcohol for months but regrettably didn't think to pace myself. My boss could see I was on a slippery slope so decided we should leave early, and he kindly decided to drive me the 20 or so miles home. I felt very green and ended up opening his window on the dual carriageway and vomiting all down the side of his luxury car. Fortunately he saw the funny side but I definitely paced myself at events after that!

Once there were a group of us, all female sat round the table at a works Christmas do and for some reason starred discussing whether bald men were better in bed than men with hair. I walked over to the very high up (completely bald) boss and told him what we'd been discussing and pointed at our table and said "they all think it's because of testosterone but I think you rubbed all your hair off on the headboard!". He put his arm round my shoulders, give me a pitty squeeze and went off to the bar looking smug.

gunting that made me laugh. And google. And yup, poor bloke's still there

Went to a family fun day and BBQ with a boyfriend. It was his works do. I got so pissed is was telling all his colleagues and theirs wives how my bf was blessed with a penis the size of a baguette. I had never met them before, I never met them again!

@MumBod I'm sure he's thrilled! We didn't see him in the office block for awhile after that!

These are precisely the reasons I don't get drunk any more and have not done so in many many years. sadly took more than a drunken threesone with two work colleagues to get to that point

Very drunk at a conference, it was a big party type thing. I couldn't find my room but somehow got shown into one and got into bed. Woke up to find managing director and wife standing there asking me why the fuck I was in their bed . I still don't know how I got in there, I know someone let me in but I don't know who, I'd only been working there ten days. I was naked and everything and ended up dozing in a chair in the bar, mortifying.

My favourite one is a guy in the local pub got so drunk that he fell asleep at the bar. The owners knew him so just left him there, locked up and went to bed. He woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't get out or wake the owners up so he tried to climb out of the toilet window. He couldn't fit so decided to strip all his clothes off to make himself thinner and threw them out of the window to put back on once he got out ... he still couldn't fit so the landlord found him asleep, naked the next morning!

@gunting that wouldn't have been an event at a Worcestershire hotel would it? It's local to me and I remember everyone talking about it 😂

Great thread

@SimonNeilshair yes, that's the one!

@gunting I just googled it.
Fabulous

I remember doing shots of flaming sambuca at a work do and somehow knocking one over. Unfortunately it set fire to my boss' hands and sleeves for a while. I probably should have gone home at that point.

Got totally drunk and tried to steal an election poster of Ian Paisley claiming I loved him and wanted it for my bedroom wall!

Used to work in a large building, Christmas party in a lovely hotel, one of my colleagues starts asking where can she get some coke. Sources some from one of the guys from another department and the two of them eventually head off to the ladies where she blows him, everyone there fully aware what was going on with some standing outside the cubicle listening in. Then she reappears and declares 'I love sex!' Everyone was talking about it next day even my boss came in repeating some embellished story he'd heard on the grapevine about it all 😬😬

1. Was at Xmas do, took.a wrong turn and found myself in cleaners cupboard. Took an inexplicable liking to a particular Henry the hoover.

Spent the night trailing him around or carrying him under my arm. That's how I woke up the next morning with Henry next to me in bed, dressed in my pajama top. I got fright of my life! Apparently I got so tearful at idea of saying goodbye, the venue let me keep him for the night!

1. Telling my boss he certainly had punched above his weight now I'd met his wife!

1. Completely mistaking a man for my husband and giving a full on snog to show how much I loved him. Not only had I got the wrong man, but husband not even at do anyway!

No Canoe - you and Henry win my vote for both funny & surreal

I will always be the girl that threw up all the way to DC. Don't worry about it OP, somebody else will make a bigger idiot of themselves shortly.

1. Tip toeing in after a particularly long xmas drinking session. Falling into bed fully clothed ( thank God!) ,because I'd not lived there for 7 years! Woke up next to my ex and had a severe groundhog day moment. Passed out.

Oh too many.

Worst possible being when I'd landed a really good job as ops manager of a large teaching recruitment company.

One of my job requirements was to organise and host the bi annual teacher piss up for all the teachers and clients on our books.

Seeing as I was in charge I was also in charge of the drinks tickets.

Can't actually remember much but I puked then passed out in the toilets.

An impromptu night out after work because a big client had turned up unexpectedly. Boss let me (office manager) and other female colleague go shopping for clothes/shoes and have our hair done in the afternoon. So straight out from work for pre dinner drinks. Drank far too much wine on empty stomach then eventually sat down to dinner. Big client (female) sat across from me and ordered Cullen skink - smell of seafood turned my stomach and I instantly vommed in my mouth. Was sitting in bench seat so had to squeeze past three people with my hands over my (still vomiting) mouth, rushed to the bathroom, vomited profusely in my newly done long hair then passed out in toilet cubicle.

Short time later, client goes to toilet and sees my shoes sticking out under toilet door. Can't get in to me so goes and gets my male sales manager, who comes and climbs over into the cubicle, drags me out, wakes me and washes my vommed in hair in the sink with the help of the client and gives it a dry under the hand drier.

I go outside and slump on the pavement in my very short dress and bosses long overcoat, while they finish their dinner, this is at about SEVEN PM!!

Boss buys me a bottle of water and I unsteadily continue the rest of the night, even making it to a club!

travellinglighter we have ALL absolutely been there, done that

ingenious - I cant cope with that!!! hilarious!

Ingenious 😂 I just laughed out loud, so funny!

Now I've remembered the time we all went out and I was talking to a colleague who was taking the complete piss out of me (It's how we were though all in jest) and I got talking to his friend. Several drinks later I go home with the friend have some rather drunk sex where he talked and narrated the whole time he then had to sneak me out before the people he lived with saw me and I had to work knowing he would probably tell his friend everything . i may have screwed him again after that then gone round to the staff members with friend for a smoke