The cringe :’) I’m so glad I am sensible and boring most of the time.
I have never been a big drinker but aged 18, as the new admin girl, on my first ever Christmas do, I … made a significant error of judgment.
The do was in a wine bar. Specifically to drink wine. We ordered Chinese to the office beforehand but I was a very skinny, self conscious teen and we were all changing into proper ‘going out’ clothes in the loos so I spent most of the time getting my outfit sorted rather than eating anything. I had a sheer, floor length dress, nicely done hair and makeup, and huge platform heels. Everyone looked very dolled up by the time we left but no one had spent as much time fussing because they weren’t teenagers.
I knew I wasn’t a big drinker so arranged for then boyfriend to pick me up after an hour or so. I wanted to be sociable but we had enough funds allocated to the party that it equated to 3 bottles of wine per person plus snacks and there was no way I could handle that much alcohol.
My glass was, as I predicted, topped up regularly enough that I totally lost track of how much I was drinking. The manager decided not to waste money on bar food when we’d already had Chinese food. And somehow- Christ knows how, google maps was still very much a thing- bf (sober, btw) got lost on the five minute walk between the bar and the station. I was there for FIVE HOURS.
When he arrived, I was dancing very seductively with a tall, lithe Polish coworker whose lipstick I was apparently complimenting in a very over the top fashion. He dragged me away and I giggled and blew her a kiss. I could barely keep myself upright on my stupid shoes, was wobbling all over the place and fell the entire way down the steps of Charing Cross station despite his best efforts.
When finally on the train I passed out, waking up briefly to yell at an old woman who sat opposite us because she had stolen someone’s tea (?) which according to bf alarmed her enough that she moved carriages.
I fell over several more times, including on the way off the train onto the platform, down the next set of station steps, and on his garden path. I told him several times how unfair it was that it was so dark because how were people meant to see where they were going? (It was past 2am and that was definitely not why I kept falling over). I expect other things happened, but don’t even remember these ones because they were all recounted to me by then-bf in the morning, as the entire experience from about 8pm onward was a massive blurry hole in my memory, filled with flashes of falling over many more times than the ones he was present for, boss repeatedly calling for more wine, district manager chuckling at me (I don’t even WANT to know why), and the mesmerising hot pink of Polish colleague’s lipstick.