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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband made me get up at 5am to shower on a Saturday.

137 replies

SeashellsSeashells · 15/07/2017 05:51

I am a bit of a sweaty sleeper. I sleep naked and in thin sheets to try and combat the issue. I also sweat more if I have a nightmare (happened last night) and currently have a cold so a raised temperature.
I woke up at 5 am this morning. DH woke up too and told me I "well sweaty" last night. I explained I had a nightmare. He said you need a shower which I took as a joke as obviously I would shower when I got up. About 20 minutes later he was like "if you aren't going back to sleep you should go have a shower now"
I have now had a shower. I feel disgusting and embarrassed and like I must stink! AIBU to think DH could have waited till a sensible time to guilt trip me? I shower everyday and showered twice yesterday as I was out for the evening so hopefully I didn't smell completely rotten. I just feel so gross and embarrassed now BlushSad

OP posts:
WishUponAStar88 · 15/07/2017 05:55

Yanbu he's a twat I would be fuming if dh tried to tell me to shower at 5am!

Whichwayyisup · 15/07/2017 05:58

Oh my. What a twat. YANBU

Njordsgrrrl · 15/07/2017 06:00

Wtf? LTB. Seriously. Having a double bed to yourself is a glorious thing. You should both experience it.

Pollydonia · 15/07/2017 06:01

What the actual fuck !!!!

FatCatFaces · 15/07/2017 06:01

Next time he proposes something so stupid, tell him to fuck off.

DopeyDazy · 15/07/2017 06:14

Def a twat but perhaps you should pop along to doctor. Excessive night sweats can be a sign of NH lymphoma. Only a small chance but its one of the things my consultant asks about

tillytown · 15/07/2017 06:14

Did he ask you to go shower because he wanted more sleep, and for twenty minutes you were sitting there disturbing him? Or was he just being a dick?

MamaHanji · 15/07/2017 06:15

Tell him to go and sleep in the shower.

How dare you have natural bodily functions and nightmares!

From one sweaty sleeper to another, I sleep naked all except for underwear, I find that helps massively.

MrsOverTheRoad · 15/07/2017 06:25

Well it's sort of gross lying next to someone who is sweaty and damp OP. You shouldn't sleep naked...that exacerbates it. If you wore thin cotton pjs, they'd absorb some of the sweat in the night. As it is, the dampness is all going on the sheets.

FreakinScaryCaaw · 15/07/2017 06:29

How long have you been sweating like this? I agree with getting checked.

potoftea · 15/07/2017 06:33

If my dh was lying inches away from me all sweaty I could see myself strongly suggesting he get up and shower.
I think a light top that absorbed the sweat would be preferable to naked sweaty skin.

Original poster
SeashellsSeaShells · 15/07/2017 06:35

I have always been like this. It is made worse by having a cold though and I'm having quite a lot of stress dreams that don't help. Doctors weren't concerned about it.

OP posts:
Butterful · 15/07/2017 06:43

Yabu. It's not like you were asleep.

FreakinScaryCaaw · 15/07/2017 06:45

I wonder why he's suddenly complaining?

I've been sweating lately but am heading for menopause. Dh sweats too so can't complain. Not that he would.

FreakinScaryCaaw · 15/07/2017 06:47

Have you name changed op? I noticed the 3rd S is different.

munchkinmaster · 15/07/2017 06:49

Put a bath towel under your fitted sheet. I did this when I was unwell.

You need to go to gp as nightsweats can be a sign of lots off illnesses.

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 15/07/2017 06:49

I don't think he's BU, it's not nice sleeping next to someone who is soaked in sweat nor is BO. Sleeping naked will also make the sweating worse, my dh sweats, however we use cotton sheets and he wears cotton PJs which helps massively.

BrieOnAnOatcake · 15/07/2017 06:52

I tell my husband when he comes to bed whiffy or has morning breath or wakes particularly smelly as I find it really difficult.

I wouldn't at 5am but once awake though!

fruitlovingmonkey · 15/07/2017 06:54

Yabu- you were already awake and not going back to sleep.
Why are you so sweaty? I think you should try to find the cause of the problem instead of arguing about etiquette.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 15/07/2017 07:00

YNBU. I used to work as a cleaner/site supervisor for one site. Boss of the site I was working on took an instant dislike to me (I was very young and knew no better!) and she repeatedly rang my boss up with spurious complaints. Either I'd forgot to do a room she'd left instructions for me to do (hadn't been told to and she hadn't left me the key for said room), or I'd not put things back in the right place, anyone who does cleaning will know the way you're supposed to clean toilets, she rang up once to complain I'd left the lids up, her most favourite one to use which thankfully got me moved sites (I had a very lovely boss) was her ringing my boss up to say I had a BO problem. (She wasn't even on site when I got to work! Saw her once, probably twice in the year I worked there! ).

I was 17 when I had that job, would finish college, quick freshen up in the loos and then cycle straight to work. Those comments have never left me and 14 years later I'm now one of those very paranoid people who can liberally use a small can of deodorant up in a day, as I also sweat excessively a lot, especially when I'm ill. Sad

So yes your DH is being a bit of a tit I'm afraid. Yes its gross but you cant help it and if its bothering him that much he can migrate to the sofa for half an hour instead of telling you to get a shower at 5am!

Hope you're feeling better soon OP. Flowers

8DaysAWeek · 15/07/2017 07:02

As someone who's husband used to have bad night sweats (pre-leukaemia diagnosis btw) I have to say it's not nice to lie next to and I guess you have to respect that when you are sharing close space.

"Making you" go for a shower at 5am is only unreasonable if you weren't already awake.

8DaysAWeek · 15/07/2017 07:05

Oh and I always make a moan when he comes to bed without a tshirt on. I don't like the possibility of sticky skin touching me. I suggest you buy light cotton pjs Smile

user1487175389 · 15/07/2017 07:09

LTB

No-one deserves to be treated this way at any time, let alone 5am. He doesn't love you. Sorry if that's hard to hear but you deserve far, far better.

Onedaysoooon · 15/07/2017 07:13

It's not pleasant for you or him but it's up to you if you shower. What about the bedsheets? Aren't they wet and sweaty as well? Are you menopausal?

WingsofNylon · 15/07/2017 07:22

I can see both sides. He didn't wake you up, you were awake and seemingly not planning to fall back alseep. If you have a cold on top of your normal sweating you probably weren't the best person to be lying next to at the time. My husband thinks that showers fix most life problems so often suggests them as a way to feel better when I'm ill. I don't take any offence by it. Did the shoert make you feel better?