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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband made me get up at 5am to shower on a Saturday.

137 replies

SeashellsSeashells · 15/07/2017 05:51

I am a bit of a sweaty sleeper. I sleep naked and in thin sheets to try and combat the issue. I also sweat more if I have a nightmare (happened last night) and currently have a cold so a raised temperature.
I woke up at 5 am this morning. DH woke up too and told me I "well sweaty" last night. I explained I had a nightmare. He said you need a shower which I took as a joke as obviously I would shower when I got up. About 20 minutes later he was like "if you aren't going back to sleep you should go have a shower now"
I have now had a shower. I feel disgusting and embarrassed and like I must stink! AIBU to think DH could have waited till a sensible time to guilt trip me? I shower everyday and showered twice yesterday as I was out for the evening so hopefully I didn't smell completely rotten. I just feel so gross and embarrassed now BlushSad

OP posts:
manicmij · 16/07/2017 18:40

Have you tried wearing lightweight cotton PJs to absorb your sweat? There is medication to help with excessive swearing. May be worth visit to Doc if causing marital unrest.

Anatidae · 16/07/2017 18:41

Two things:

  1. Don't sleep naked, that doesn't help. Thin cotton lawn pajamas or nightshirt.
  1. You need to see your doc. Excessive night sweats can be a symptom of several things. Several benign but a few very serious that need to be ruled out. Do t minimise it when you see your doc.
Maireadplastic · 16/07/2017 18:42

Get a bigger bed. I've always been hot at night (!) but I sleep quite far away from my husband so it doesn't affect him (just checked this with him).

justlliloleme · 16/07/2017 18:45

My husband once asked me to move the hot water bottle off him - it was me 😬
I started supplementing with B12 & night sweats completely gone. Might be worth checking your B12 level xx

AnnieOnAMapleLeaf · 16/07/2017 18:45

Your husband is a dick and you deserve better. If he doesn't like sharing a bed with you, point him to the fucking couch.

Goodasgoldilox · 16/07/2017 18:47

OP - keep in mind that sweat doesn't smell. (The water on your skin evaporates and just leaves salt as a rule!)

It is stale sweat that does this and if you are showering that often, yours doesn't have time to get smelly.

I hope he made the suggestion about the shower for your comfort.

If not - he should sleep somewhere else from now on!

MsLexicon · 16/07/2017 18:52

That is just totally unkind if you were loved as you should be he would say something supportive and help you maybe to sort the problem out.
If you put a large clean dry cotton towel under your side of the undersheet this will help. Also please see your GP.

SherbrookeFosterer · 16/07/2017 18:53

YANBU - wear the same pair of knickers for a few days and then put them in his briefcase as a little surprise for when he gets to work.

That will teach him!

PollyPerky · 16/07/2017 19:10

OP has disappeared.

Llanali · 16/07/2017 19:10

YABU

It's grim sleeping next to someone who has made the bed wet with sweat. If you hadn't been awake that would be different, and if he had manhandled or forced you to shower, that would be him BU.

As it is, I think he was fine. He could have been more diplomatic, but diplomacy skills at 5am next to a soggy partner might be understandably slim.

Bluntness100 · 16/07/2017 19:17

t is stale sweat that does this and if you are showering that often, yours doesn't have time to get smelly

That's not quite true. You can sweat in the night and it dries on you then sweat again and you can wake up quite smelly. Not bo smell, but an unpleasant one all the same. If the op was also out the night before, she may have sweated then too and it dried, then coupled with night sweats there is a chance she smelled bad. Either that or we was being a bastard, but as she's not said he makes it a regular occurance, I'd possibly come down on he was disturbed in the night by her sweating, commented when they first woke up, then as she didn't act on it, waited twenty mins then asked again.

userofthiswebsite · 16/07/2017 19:21

I developed this problem and after realising it wasn't going to go away by itself eventually visited the GP. I got sent to an endo who did various tests without any joy.
Started at age 31 or 32 so not as a result of menopause.

Fairenuff · 16/07/2017 19:53

OP has disappeared

Yep. Another one that starts a thread when they don't have the courtesy time to engage with posters on it. Don't know why so many people do this. Maybe it's like those cryptic fb posts where they want everyone to post 'you ok hun'?

2014newme · 16/07/2017 19:56

See your gp 💐

cheval · 16/07/2017 20:15

What a horrible way to be treated. The man has no common decency. Why doesn't he kip on the sofa if he finds it too much?
I had a spell of terrible night sweats. GP said I was menopausal. Turned out to be appendicitis. Get yourself checked out. Could be a symptom of something that needs dealing with.
And tell your partner to engage his brain before speaking to you like that.

Minaktinga · 16/07/2017 20:43

It's a bit harsh to get you up to shower when you've just had a nightmare. You need a cuddle not to be kicked out of bed. Hope you feel better soon 💐

Luncharmstrong · 16/07/2017 20:48

Op?

pollymere · 16/07/2017 20:49

My dh sometimes has this problem. If he was awake at five, he'd probably have a shower just to feel better, especially if he'd decided not to go back to sleep. He thinks showers solve loads of problems so if I had a cold he'd probably suggest one to try and make me feel better! Probably man trying to be supportive rather than that you stink!

funkky · 16/07/2017 20:57

He might be trying to tell you something but probably not sure how to? If dh said that to me I'd be asking him what the heck is really the problem, do I stink?
Dh had a phase of bad breath and I kept buying mouthwash, hinting at flossing at weird hours until he got the hint and asked me outright. I was so relieved but he said obviously was better I told him than if he had to get it from someone else.

cleanlaundry · 16/07/2017 21:02

Umm...yabu.

DH and I tell each other stuff like this. I always get DH to wash his smelly feet or spray on some deodorant and he tells me when I should fix my hair if it's in a mess Smile

It's nasty and offputting sleeping next to someone who sweats

RevEm · 16/07/2017 22:16

Gosh! What a horrible man.

Persistentdonor · 17/07/2017 14:08

I am glad to see that people do actually read some of the posts, however, Kurrikurri and Sussexman, I suggest you don't knock it unless you have tried it.
I know that following the recommendations genuinely does make a difference to my physiology, and anyone who has a physical problem that they haven't been able to manage in other ways, may well find the ER4YT programme helps them.
I merely suggested giving it a trial. No more. No less!

KurriKurri · 17/07/2017 14:25

You don't have to try things to know they are nonsense and have absolutely no foundation in science. It suggests (amongst other things) restricting your diet in ways that could be dangerous - no one should ever do this without consulting a doctor. restriction diets may work for some people with certain conditions, but blood type is not one of the determinants of whether a specialised diet may be useful.

But - obviously what you try is your own business and if you think it helps you fine - whatever floats your boat.
I just think that when you recommend something you should put forward both the views for and against, you are pushing it as a miraculous solution, in fact there are much more sensible paths for the OP to follow if sh has a health problem before she turns to quack diets.

Persistentdonor · 17/07/2017 17:48

Kurrikurri, if you looked into it properly, instead of just sounding off, you would find the ER4YT is about substitutions not restriction.
While I agree with you that it has yet to be trialled in a full scientifically controlled laboratory situation, and while I also have mis-givings about viewing it as a cure for all ills, I can assure you that I have found enough benefits, to consider it worth remaining aware of the recommendations for my blood type.

KurriKurri · 17/07/2017 17:59

People who don't agree with you are not sounding off. presumably you think all the doctors and scientists who say this is nonsense are sounding off too. You are recommending a scientifically debunked load of garbage as a medication for people - the onus is on you to prove scientifically that it works, not for me to prove that it doesn't it's already been proved to be rubbish.

It is highly irresponsible to recommend such nonsense things to people who may be unwell. You are so defensive, I can only assume you have some vested interest in pedalling this ludicrous woo.