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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Husband made me get up at 5am to shower on a Saturday.

137 replies

SeashellsSeashells · 15/07/2017 05:51

I am a bit of a sweaty sleeper. I sleep naked and in thin sheets to try and combat the issue. I also sweat more if I have a nightmare (happened last night) and currently have a cold so a raised temperature.
I woke up at 5 am this morning. DH woke up too and told me I "well sweaty" last night. I explained I had a nightmare. He said you need a shower which I took as a joke as obviously I would shower when I got up. About 20 minutes later he was like "if you aren't going back to sleep you should go have a shower now"
I have now had a shower. I feel disgusting and embarrassed and like I must stink! AIBU to think DH could have waited till a sensible time to guilt trip me? I shower everyday and showered twice yesterday as I was out for the evening so hopefully I didn't smell completely rotten. I just feel so gross and embarrassed now

OP posts:

Mar15mite · 15/07/2017 07:23

When pregnant I would sweat a lot at night, I would def second the PP who suggested light pj's I found they made no difference to the amount of sweat but would absorb it and make me less icky to lie next to

mathanxiety · 15/07/2017 07:23

The obvious solution to his problem is that he sleeps in the doghouse form now on.

MrsExpo · 15/07/2017 07:27

I agree that him "making" you shower is definitely U. But as others have said, you really need to see a doctor and get checked out as this could be symptomatic of something more serious. In the meantime, wear light nightwear to help contain it.

Figaro2017 · 15/07/2017 07:28

LTB user? Are you reading the same thread?

He didn't threaten her. He didn't force her. He just suggested that if she wasn't going back to sleep then she should shower.

Nothing wrong with what he's said.

Now just wait for someone to ask for a backstory so as the thread can be swung to make him sound abusive.

BuzzKillington · 15/07/2017 07:31

It must be pretty unpleasant to sleep next to someone so sweaty, tbh.

I'd have probably said the same if it was my dh.

Why are you so sweaty? Have you seen a GP?

Penhacked · 15/07/2017 07:39

Sometimes do tells me when I have bad breath. As much as I am embarrassed, it is fixable and I would MUCH prefer he told me than put up with it! We all have bodily functions, but I think we owe it to our nearest and dearest to be honest and considerate.

VestalVirgin · 15/07/2017 07:39

Separate beds would solve the problem.

BeepBeepMOVE · 15/07/2017 07:43

It's really yuck to share a bed with a super sweaty person, it makes the sheets grim too.

He could have asked nicer but he did say "if you aren't going back to sleep" which sort of makes it sound like you were up and about?

ethelfleda · 15/07/2017 07:48

I don't think YABU. I wouldn't have asked my DH to shower if that was him... If it bothered me that much and he was ill then I would have gotten up or slept in another room.

SpookyBookey · 15/07/2017 07:50

I really don't see the issue? You weren't going back to sleep but were really sweaty. It is a bit gross to just lay there knowing that and he didn't force you, just suggested maybe if your not going back to sleep now you could shower. My husband is a really sweaty sleeper. He realises this and showers when he wakes without being asked. I think you are unreasonable to expect your partner to just deal with it, he is sleeping in the same bed as you. I would find it a real turn off if I had to sleep in my husband's sweat.

Cotton PJs definitely help though, wicks up lots of sweat so you stay drier. It would definitely be worth seeing a doctor because it can be a sign of a number of problems.

I definitely don't agree with the comments that if he loves you he would just put up with it... by that same logic you wouldn't tell your kids to shower if they needed it too. I think it is a positive thing that he feels your relationship is open and honest enough that he feels he can say it to you.

ChestnutsRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 15/07/2017 07:53

It's odd to be so sweaty, are you waking up drenched? If so you need to see a doctor. Being naked won't be helping, wear a short sleeved shorts a t shirt set.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 15/07/2017 07:59

Gah. Everything about this makes me grateful I don't have to share a bed with anyone...

That sounds hurtful OP, even if it was reasonable/meant kindly from his perspective. I'd feel hurt and embarrassed.

Sparkletastic · 15/07/2017 08:02

Can you sleep separately?

Joolsy · 15/07/2017 08:09

In future, if you wake up v sweaty and stinky, use some of those "Festival Wipes" or similar you can get from B&M Bargains. But I wouldn't sleep naked if I was v sweaty

Brittbugs80 · 15/07/2017 08:09

I have night sweats to the point where I wake up soaking, hairs wet and the sheets are wet that once I'm awake, I have to finish my sleep elsewhere, as the sheet is too cold and wet to lie back on.

It doesn't help that our mattress has a fitted memory foam layer on top that generates heat too.

I've also got a waterproof sheet under our normal sheet to protect the mattress, it's not an old style crinkly plastic one either.

I've no suggestions but I feel your pain. Day to Day I don't sweat but the nights are awful.

He was being unfair making you shower at 5am though. I wouldn't do it.

WomblingThree · 15/07/2017 08:14

I guess it depends how he "made" you. Did he bodily drag you into the shower, turn it on and stand over you while you got clean, or did he just strongly suggest it?

If you didn't want to shower, you didn't have to shower. You could have just said "bugger off I'll do it when I'm up".

Naicehamshop · 15/07/2017 08:15

I think he sounds horrible!

How can you sweating be affecting him, so long as you aren't actually touching him? 😕

I would personally suggest that if he's that bothered he can make his way to the spare room.

kaytee87 · 15/07/2017 08:15

He sounds like a Dick tbh. You should wear pjs though as they will absorb the sweat instead of it going all over him and the bed.

Sassandballs · 15/07/2017 08:16

Everyone sweats more than others, if he cannot that accept then LTB!!

He shouldn't be guilt shaming you at all, nor should you feel ashamed. I am so sorry you are made to feel like this.

MissBax · 15/07/2017 08:17

I'm going to just reply to this from the other side - DH sweats PROFUSELY at night! He's slim, fit and hygienic so I've never understood how this happens. But sometimes I wake up thinking he's wet the bed because it's that drenched and it does really smell bad - not of B.O as such, but just very musty and almost like source Yogurt or something (TMI)! So although your DH might sound like he's being a twat, it can be unpleasant for someone sharing a bed like that. It's really not nice.

MissBax · 15/07/2017 08:17

sour Yogurt

Toadinthehole · 15/07/2017 08:20

Why should he have to sleep elsewhere?

TealStar · 15/07/2017 08:21

I don't blame your dh for asking (ASKING) you to possibly have a shower seeing as you were awake already and not going back to sleep. I wouldn't want to lie next to someone who hums, in fact I would probably be even less tactful than your dh, but luckily dh and I don't walk on eggshells around each other. If he asked me to do so I would, I think it's fair enough. Perhaps dh and I should both LTB

AnUtterIdiot · 15/07/2017 08:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TealStar · 15/07/2017 08:23

In fact dh and I have a pretty robust policy of using the spare room if one of us is ill, late home (while the other is in bed), or going through a phase of insomnia. It's a combination of mutual intolerance and both being upfront about it!

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