Charlie Gard 8

[cjt110]

New thread so that we can await this afternoon's hearing at 1400 (UK time)

Let's try to keep this one as sensible and measured as the past 7 threads have been.

Please note the MNHQ comment on thread number 7.

"Hi everyone,

..... We had to remove several parent-blaming posts, so we'd like to ask folk not to do this. We think we can all agree that this is a truly awful time for all involved and we just wouldn't wish it on anyone. If there's anything we could do with more of, it's support. We'll continue to remove reported posts that break TGs (if we've missed something, do feel free to let us know).

If we have to make too many deletions, we will need to look at removing the thread; which is the last thing we wish to do.

Thanks all"

I've no doubt some will feel it's crucial that the parents shouldn't be "upset or angered" ... whereas others of us believe that what really matters is Charlie and what's best for him

I suppose as a nurse it's harder because we've generally built up a relationship of trust with the parents, gotten to know them and they know us etc and so the minute we say something negative in the meeting we know that the relationship is effectively over because we know the parents will never trust us again and then it's very hard to work with them. In general I think parents see nurses as their allies so if we suddenly turn around and say we have concerns of some kind we then become the enemy.

I think it's much easier for the doctors to just say that they want to say because they have no personal relationships with the parents whereas the nurses and the health visitors in particular I think find it hard to speak out honestly. Obviously out of the parents earshot we then share our concerns and speak honestly but it's so hard finding that fine line between saying what needs to be said and not breaking down relations with the families.

I can't even imagine how emotionally drained the PICU nurses must be working in what will be such an awful atmosphere.

I would hope that in Charlie's meeting the doctors do speak openly but I still think that to some degree they will soften their true views because of how emotionally distressed Connie will be.

Apologies for doing this, as I know it is going to annoy some people, but I'm going to fill up this thread so that everyone moves to the new thread and no posts on here are missed.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2979833-Charlie-Gard-9

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Got the message yet?

You can't say the doctors have no personal relations with parent s of sick children. That's really insulting to the many wonderful paeds I know and work with

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The GMC’s Guidance “0-18 years: guidance for all doctors” emphasises two matters in particular. The first is treating children as individuals and acting in the child’s best interests. The second is, if it is necessary to do so, putting the child first. Paragraph 4 of the Guidance says: “When treating children and young people, doctors must also consider parents and others close to them but their patient must be the doctor’s first concern.”

Surely that is what matters: 'their patient must be the doctor's first concern'.

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I'm annoying myself now!

I believe you implicitly Writer; in particular I get what you're saying about the delicacy of the relationship between medical staff and parents, and especially your remarks about what this must be doing to the staff in PICU

However the trouble seems to be that this has gone so far, and for so long, that the parents will no longer accept anything at all except what they want to hear. Nursing staff, consultants, lawyers, the judiciary, pastoral advisers ... they'll all be wrong unless they agree to what the parents want

I'm certain it was done with the best of intentions, but I can't help agreeing with he PP who said GOSH must bitterly rue the day when they agreed to "a bit more time to say goodbye"

I'm annoying myself now!

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Can MN close this thread early?

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www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2979833-Charlie-Gard-9

No idea! I'm getting repetitive strain injury though!

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www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2979833-Charlie-Gard-9