Aaaargh! DS Holiday refusnik crisis ...

[UsedtobeFeckless]

We're going away with my cousin and her family in a few weeks, we do this every year - the kids get on, the adults get on, it's a nice week off in the wilds.

DS (16) has just announced he doesn't want to go because he's going to miss his mate's going-off-to-uni barbeque (mate has a car, uni is an hour away, mate lives in the village, both on skype etc, term doesn't start until October) Should l insist he comes with us or leave him behind and disappoint cousins ( not entirely happy about leaving him on his own for a week and a half ) Woe!

I'm leaving my 16 yo DS for a week too. He is flatly refusing to come with us on our family holiday and that's that. You're not alone. He is almost 17, very independent and seems to hate all things family.

I'd say it depends on his maturity level. I left home at 16, never once regretted it or had any problems.
However, a friend of mine of the same age left home, got evicted from house after house and ended up in a hostel, which lasted one night before she was begging her parents to let her move back home again.
Obviously he's not moving out, but would he be mature enough to fend for himself while you're all gone?

Definitely sounds like you've talked him round to the holiday, good news, as the situation was more complex than can he be trusted at home on his own! Do the cousins and family live on this island or nearby? Maybe with them all being teenagers next year try to find something wihin easy transport range for all of you in case a similar situation comes up, although I doubt you'd find something similar to the wilds of a Scottish island just an hours commute from London or wherever!!

aww i think its great you could get him to think of coming.youve got to take all the family time you can whilst hes willing :) and then letting him have another get together with his mates or at your bbq sounds fab.
well done.i deff wouldn't leave them alone for that long at 16.

I left my dad at 16 and went on holiday for a week. I left food so shopping wasnt an issue.

All was fine on my return.

A couple of neighbours offered to be there is anything arose.

I don't see the problem, I'd think boredom may be an issue but that's his Choice

To leave a 16yo for one night, possibly, although I don't feel very comfortable about but for one week, no way!!!

Lallypop at 16 they can leave home. Some are going off to uni at 17. Unless they are very untrustworthy it really isn't a big deal.

I wouldn't enjoy my own holiday because I would worry so no I wouldn't. But treating him to something with her, meal, cinema whatever sounds like a great idea, or saying you'll pay for him to pop up and see her one day once she's moved INSTEAD. Suspect though that an older girl off to uni might cringe a little at the thought and he's harbouring false hopes. Tell him he has to come and it's too late (gently), he won't be happy, but he's bound to love it when he's there. That's what I'd do anyway, holidays are better than everything :-)

I left a 17 year old at home for a week when me and my daughter went on holiday. He didn't want to come, so he looked after the cats instead.

But I know my son, he is responsible, cooks, loves the cats. It depends on the person.

We left our 16 year old at home for a fortnight while we went abroad. He didn't want to come with us and we were not going to fight it. He would have ruined everyone elses holiday. He was left with a house full of food and some extra cash (which he spent on shoes). We made sure he knew how to use the washing machine, oven and dishwasher before we left and had told a couple of trusted neighbours to check up on him occasionally. He didn't have any parties as a few of his friends find our large dog intimidating but it did also save us on kennel fees. When he saw all our photos when we came back he decided to come with us the next year. The photos of the size of the prawns and pork chops are what did it I think.

Great compromise though.

My parents left me when I was 17, with a neighbour keeping a loose eye on me. I had a blissful time, involving lots of wine, cannabis and sex.