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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it will serve some smokers right if outdoor smoking is banned

484 replies

user1485342611 · 13/07/2017 12:32

Yesterday a friend and I were sitting outside a cafe in a park (no indoor seating) having a coffee. We were the only people there as it was late in the afternoon. A couple sat at the table right beside us and proceeded to light up and enjoy a couple of cigarettes with their coffee.

I was sitting at the bus shelter a couple of evenings ago and a guy sat down beside me and proceeded to light a cigarette. I got up and walked a few feet away and stood until the bus came. He just smoked away, oblivious.

There was a long queue at the ATM today as several in the area weren't working. A woman smoked away in front of me and around loads of other people as we all waited for our turn.

Surely, just because smoking isn't illegal out of doors, it doesn't mean smokers don't have to show any consideration of cop on towards others.

AIBU to think that some smokers (and I know it's only some) will have only themselves to blame if smoking out of doors is eventually made illegal?

OP posts:
MissionItsPossible · 13/07/2017 21:29

Ahh but there's a flaw there, mission - it's not a place for smoking. It's a place for eating. Smoking is tolerated in much the same way as any other personal foible. If the VISs behave considerately, it's most likely not an issue. If they come over all entitled, well, that's another story...

Eating, drinking and smoking has always gone hand in hand in hand (obviously not to those who don't drink or don't smoke, or models that do two of one and not the other)

What is classed as entitled?

"May I ask you to move, please? Your cigarette smoke is ruining my meal".

"Well, no, I don't really want to, I booked this table, as did you, and so I want to smoke here at my table".

Would you sit there and endure it as they were polite? Would you move because it was ruining your meal? Would you think them entitled because you had chosen a table near them and sat down after they were settled and eating and they smoked afterwards and didn't consider you?

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 13/07/2017 21:33

I would think they were dicks TBH.

MissionItsPossible · 13/07/2017 21:37

I would think they were dicks TBH.

How very hypocritical Wink

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 13/07/2017 21:40

What makes me a dick then? Smile

PrincessIsAUnicorn · 13/07/2017 21:41

Got my cheerleader outfit on (please ignore the overhangWink

sparechange · 13/07/2017 21:42

Lifelong non-smoker, but some of these responses remind me of that January meme "Gym bunnies, don't complain about us coming to your gym just for january. We don't complain about you coming to our pubs just for December" or something along those lines.

Outside tables are used by smokers all year round and in all weathers, and are probably how most pubs and restaurants justify having the space.

Then we get a few sunny days and all the anti-smokers turn up and start complaining that they don't have the space to themselves!

PrincessIsAUnicorn · 13/07/2017 21:43

Sorry pressed wrong button

Waving my pom pond vigorously

GO MissionItsPossible Grin
XXX

MerchantofVenice · 13/07/2017 21:54

Eating, drinking and smoking may, for some, have gone hand in hand for a long time, I guess. But only one of those is pretty universally regarded as noxious. And (some) people are more enlightened these days, so while people may have happily sat with smokers back in the days when everyone's house stank like an ashtray, people have different standards today.

It's nasty.

MerchantofVenice · 13/07/2017 21:57

And by 'entitled' I meant having an attitude whereby you're happy to put others out with no good reason. The cafe's for eating. You can all eat happily - but no, someone's got to whip out a fag and ruin it for everyone. They could just, you know, wait...?!

MissionItsPossible · 13/07/2017 21:58

What makes me a dick then?

You. Smile

No actually, it's your post above that said that smokers bring themselves to the communal area to disrupt people. My point was if they were there first and the non smelly, annoying and disruptive non smokers came afterwards then it is the non smokers that should move as they brung themselves to the communal area afterwards going by your logic. If you don't agree then you're a hypocrite IMO. And I find hypocrites dickish.

PrincessIsAUnicorn

Thank you! I shall too wave my pom pond in unison Grin

MerchantofVenice · 13/07/2017 22:01

Ok - at the risk of being a total dick myself, I'm going to find it hard to take you seriously now mission since you just used the word 'brung'.

MissionItsPossible · 13/07/2017 22:04

Eating, drinking and smoking may, for some, have gone hand in hand for a long time, I guess. But only one of those is pretty universally regarded as noxious. And (some) people are more enlightened these days, so while people may have happily sat with smokers back in the days when everyone's house stank like an ashtray, people have different standards today. It's nasty.

Nasty by who's standards? Yours? Are yours more important than those that spoke? If someone held the same strong stance as you do about cigarettes but to alcohol instead and said that they wanted to go to a restaurant to eat, not to see people drinking alcohol (cigarettes not the only think considered noxious, btw, alcohol is one of the biggest causes of death out there)and enduring them getting tipsy or drunk around you that would be ridiculous, would it not?

MissionItsPossible · 13/07/2017 22:05

Ok - at the risk of being a total dick myself, I'm going to find it hard to take you seriously now mission since you just used the word 'brung'.

Haha, I like the word brung Smile my autocorrect always tried to dictate to me but I have now tamed it into acceptance without question Grin

MerchantofVenice · 13/07/2017 22:08

I've already addressed the red herring that is alcohol. A non-dick can sit next to you drinking a massive glass of wine and the effect on you is nil. Admittedly, a total dick might behave antisocially after the wine - but that's slightly different. Conversely, a non-dick smoking a cigarette next to you negatively affects the quality of your air every bit as much as a total dick smoking the same cigarette.

Not really comparable.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 13/07/2017 22:16

Ok so if non smokers were there first you think smokers should move to light up?

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 13/07/2017 22:18

You'd be a bit thick to say you don't wanna see people drinking alcohol in restaurants seeing as that's what the restaurant sells. It's not a good comparison.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 13/07/2017 22:20

BTW I'm not calling you thick, by 'you' I mean 'a person' not you personally Confused

MissionItsPossible · 13/07/2017 22:22

I've already addressed the red herring that is alcohol. A non-dick can sit next to you drinking a massive glass of wine and the effect on you is nil. Admittedly, a total dick might behave antisocially after the wine - but that's slightly different. Conversely, a non-dick smoking a cigarette next to you negatively affects the quality of your air every bit as much as a total dick smoking the same cigarette.

You judge someone as a total dick because they smoke? Ok Hmm and it's second hand cigarette smoke in the open air, it's hardly someone pinning you down and shoving a pack of fags down your mouth and lighting them all at once.

I suppose the best situation is to politely, or rudely, if that's your nature, to ask them to please move as it's disturbing you. If they do, great. If they don't, then sit there and suffer, complain, move, or physically move them away from you.

If a "total dick" got pissed would you want to ban alcohol from being drunk outside Confused

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 13/07/2017 22:25

I'd like to ban non smokers from sitting near me when I smoke. Self righteous bastards... where were you all winter? Wink

MerchantofVenice · 13/07/2017 22:28

No - I really wasn't calling smokers dicks. Obviously that wasn't clear.

I was saying both dicks and non-dicks drink alcohol AND both dicks and non-dicks smoke.

If a dick is drinking they may well become antisocial and therefore a public nuisance. But it's possible to drink and NOT cause a nuisance.

It's not possible to smoke at the next table and NOT pollute people's air - it matters not a bit whether you're a dick or non-dick. Therefore it's not a fair comparison.

MissionItsPossible · 13/07/2017 22:28

Ok so if non smokers were there first you think smokers should move to light up?

No. But if asked to, and it didn't particularly inconvenience them then I think they should personally. If they refused to, that's fine as well as equally paying customers.

You'd be a bit thick to say you don't wanna see people drinking alcohol in restaurants seeing as that's what the restaurant sells. It's not a good comparison.

Yes, that actually wasn't a good comparison, I agree on that.

BTW I'm not calling you thick, by 'you' I mean 'a person' not you personally Confused

lol it's fine, I have referred to 'you' and 'your' not meaning anyone in particular but just like a 'so you're in this scenario how would you react' sort of thing.

MerchantofVenice · 13/07/2017 22:29

FWIW I don't suppose they're clamouring to get a lungful of your noxious fumes Mary

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 13/07/2017 22:31

So Mission, you think if smokers were there first, then non-smokers should move...but not the other way round?

Smoking stinks. It makes non-smokers stink, makes their food taste rank, gets in your air and eyes. Can't you see how horrible that is?

I think this from a pp sums it up
It's not possible to smoke at the next table and NOT pollute people's air - it matters not a bit whether you're a dick or non-dick. Therefore it's not a fair comparison

ethelfleda · 13/07/2017 22:31

If we are talking about banning stuff that is bad for the environment and causes cancer then can we ban meat consumption too?

I miss smoking. But alas I gave up when trying for a baby and now I am carrying said baby I definitely can't smoke. I hope I will never start again. But that first smoke with a glass of wine after a long hard day... bliss.

MerchantofVenice · 13/07/2017 22:33

Remember all those threads about screaming toddlers and how the parents should have the decency to take them outside so as not to disturb other diners...?

How is this different? The onus to move is on the people who are doing the annoying, not on the people who are being annoyed!

Or do smokers see themselves as some special protected group on the grounds that they, umm, elected to engage in an entirely optional activity??