Is it ok to say shut up to your child?

[tigercub50]

I really don't like the words " shut up" & think it's a bit disrespectful. I will always try to say something else to DD8. We are struggling with some of her behaviour at the moment & realise that we have to change our reactions & how we speak to her. Both DH & I are trying really hard to stay calm & acknowledge her feelings whilst letting her know that how she's behaving is unacceptable. However, when it escalates ( like it did this morning before the school run), DH will tell her to shut up. He gets further annoyed by the fact that DD has picked up on this & will say something like " Mummy says you shouldn't tell people to shut up". DH defends it to me by saying it's a common phrase where he comes from. Any thoughts?

I had a really difficult day with my 3 yesterday and told me lovely 3 yo to shut up for a minute. I felt terrible and apologised as soon as I said it as the whole situation wasn't her fault at all and she just wanted to talk to mummy.

I've also shouted it once or twice at a class full of unruly teens. Not my finest moment in teaching but it had an impact because I'm usually so calm.

Generally I think phrases like shut up or go away are best avoided because children will start to use them themselves to their parents.

The number of times I hear parents/adults screaming 'shut up' into children's faces

I do and have said it, but now im a parent, I use hush or shush