To allow DD2 an opportunity which will upset DD1

[LegoWalker]

Possibly more of a WWYD than an AIBU.

Before I left exh DD1 and DD2 were enrolled in lots of expensive dance and drama lessons which exh payed for. I left him last year and I couldn't afford to keep them in the expensive classes. These classes took place as part of a large business which ran many classes so the DCs were always in different classes.

So I managed to find a small local group that does acting and dance lessons which is much cheaper. However the group only runs once a week with larger mixed age groups. This means that the girls are in the same class together.

The DDs sharing a class is already causing friction as DD2 (6) is naturally better at it than DD1 (8). DD2 is also really more popular amongst the other kids there which also isn't helping. This is upsetting DD1 as she is older and she wants to be better than her sister. I have tried to get both of them interested in other activities especially DD1 but they won't do anything else. But every time after class now they are either arguing or DD1 is upset because DD2 has done something better than DD1.

So a few weeks ago there were auditions in class for a part in the local theatre show. I didn't expect much from it as the DCs are still pretty new to the group so I didn't think they would have much chance.

However when I went to pick up the DCs today the teacher pulled me to one side and told me that DD2 has been offered a part in the show. They haven't told the girl yet but hey need to know ASAP if I want DD2 to do it or not.

Now DD2 would be over the moon to do this. However DD1 will be upset that her sister has won a part and she hasn't.

I am not sure what to do, DD2 would love to do this, she auditioned and she earned the part. But DD1 will be very upset about as its another thing DD1 is doing better than her. I could say that DD2 won't do it but what if she isn't offered the chance again.

So would I be unreasonable to let DD2 do the part and upset DD1 or should I say that she can't do it?

As most PP have said, let DD2 do it. DD1 needs to learn that she can't do everything and it's not fair on DD2 to miss out on something she has rightfully earned. That's making it clear to both that DD1 feeling are more important.

Don't stop DD1 dancing but encourage her to find something else to do that she enjoys and is good at. My DM had to do that with my DSIS. In the end mind was acting and piano and hers was singing and dancing. We have our moments even now but I'm grateful my DM helped us and didn't hold back on accomplishments for either of us.

Just RTFT and realised what you've done. Good for you. Good luck with telling DD1. She may not like it now but the good thing is not creating resentment from DD2.

Sorry to hear about all the changes. It won't be easy on any of you.

Have you tried Cubs for DD1? Much more active and varied than rainbows/beavers and she may enjoy that.... my DD tried rainbows for two weeks and was bored so we tried beavers (6-8) and she loves it! Cubs is 8-10.5 and then up to scouts

Well done OP