to want to cry after my ds end of year results

[Bigglassofwineplease]

My ds came home with his report. 11% for English and less than 50% in every subject other than RE. I had sat down with him, helped him make notes, tested him etc. He seemed to have a good knowledge and I am heartbroken that he only managed such low scores. I want him to be empowered by realising that working hard achieves results but he really has a CBA attitude. He starts his GCSE's in September and I am dreading a battle in him fulfilling his homework and lesson expectations. From September I will have to take away his Xbox as I did in the run up to these end of year exams..but will it make any difference? We have a strong relationship but I am so weary with nagging and reward schemes and consequences and punishments. Do any other MN's have sons who have turned it around from 14-16? I need to be inspired that my energy is directed in the right way for the next 2 years. I am looking into the tutor route but I don't have a lot of funds. I help him all the time and did well at school and Uni so don't understand why he won't put the effort in. He gets up for school fine every day, doesn't appear tired, doesn't smoke or do anything else to the best of my knowledge and is happy with his friends and has a stable home life. Deep sigh.

My DS1 is bright as but totally laid back and not bothered career wise. Did terribly in his GCSEs and pissed about at college for two years at which point he had the option of moving out or paying his way and getting a job.

He's 19 now, works full time in the social club has a lovely girlfriend and is happy which is all I want for him.

Life isn't always about academia.

If he is only getting 11% in English this sounds like a serious problem rather than CBA. He should have been able to retain a certain amount of knowledge even if he did no revision at all. What were his previous results like? I would make an appointment asap with the school to get to the bottom of this.

If there are any concerns about his ability then he needs assessing as soon as possible. If he really is just arsing about and seriously taking the piss then he needs a serious reality check; he will be unable to do ANYTHING at all post-16 without a GCSE pass in English and maths, i.e. new level 4 / old grade C. If he doesn't do what he's told now, he will spend the rest of his life doing just that- being told what to do by others.

If it turns out that he is dyslexic (a bright child can hide this for a considerable time) then he needs a specialised tutor with relevant experience as the school will be unlikely to have the funds or resources to help him much.

The OP HAS talked to her son about the 11% btw. it's an idea to read at least the last page of a thread you're going to post a message on.

OP I too had a good chat with ds1 (will get his report today!) - he (off his own bat) has decided that Y9 is when he needs to knuckle down and work harder, is onboard with getting a tutor and doing homework club, and didn't actually moan about restrictions on the internet! We've jointly agreed times,

I think the 'turnaround' has actually been that he is being moved up a group in Science and he is extremely proud of himself (he has major issues with the teacher!) and is pretty motivated to turn it around in his other subjects. He has also decided that he wants to be a barrister, so was actually asking for help deciding on which GCSE and A levels he needs in order to improve his chances.

Obviously I haven't seen his results from this year yet, and he may lose all motivation over the holidays, but I am going to stick with the reduction of technology during the holidays to try to break the addiction! And also drag him out to do some exercise to try to get some motivation going for extracurricular activities!

Hope your chat went well with school!