To ask your help finding DH a job/working out what he can do

[GreeboIsACutePussPuss]

DH has been out of work for a very long time (originally signed off sick but now just unemployed) he does not want to go back to bar work or shop work, which are all he has ever done.

He has a handful of GCSEs. For about the 7 millionth time we have discussed him going back to work, or rather this time having just found out he's not applied for a couple of jobs his friend found for him (or indeed any jobs for at least 6 months) I have snapped and told him to get a fucking job or get out (I've been happy to support him when i thought he was applying and just not getting anywhere but now i know he's not even trying im pretty pissed off) I've said I will help him look but to be honest I'm a bit stuck on what to suggest.

So what jobs can people suggest?

I earn just enough by the way that we don't qualify for any benefits and childcare isn't an issue so any money he brings in is a bonus, I'm just sick of his excuses. Also i've said he has 1 month before not wanting to do bar work or shop work is tough shit, I don't want him to be miserable and I know job hunting sucks but I'm fed up of struggling to make ends meet when hes not even trying!

Can you ask your Emily mother to officially up your hours to 24 - even if you stay on the same salary? Then you'd be entitled to WTC I think, which would ease things a little and allow you to have a discussion about proper plans while you have a little breathing room.

Don't allow resentment to breed, if you can.

Not sure who your Emily mother is, but your employer might up your hours...

So you work, you do everything in the house, you are studying for a Masters and volunteering. What about your mental health OP?

You cannot help him if he wont help himself. And, he wont help himself.

so you have to decide: can I do another 35 years of this because if nothing changes, nothing changes or do I want this to change.

you have posted here because you clearly want this to change. In which case you have to do something. you have tried being the nice supportive wife. now you have to do something different.

he isn't living in the real world now. 18 months of online gaming day in day out and he has lost touch with it all.

sit down with him and make a plan. and actions/no action has to have consequences. unless you are prepared to do this you are forever going to be exhausted. what a waste of your life.