To ask your help finding DH a job/working out what he can do

[GreeboIsACutePussPuss]

DH has been out of work for a very long time (originally signed off sick but now just unemployed) he does not want to go back to bar work or shop work, which are all he has ever done.

He has a handful of GCSEs. For about the 7 millionth time we have discussed him going back to work, or rather this time having just found out he's not applied for a couple of jobs his friend found for him (or indeed any jobs for at least 6 months) I have snapped and told him to get a fucking job or get out (I've been happy to support him when i thought he was applying and just not getting anywhere but now i know he's not even trying im pretty pissed off) I've said I will help him look but to be honest I'm a bit stuck on what to suggest.

So what jobs can people suggest?

I earn just enough by the way that we don't qualify for any benefits and childcare isn't an issue so any money he brings in is a bonus, I'm just sick of his excuses. Also i've said he has 1 month before not wanting to do bar work or shop work is tough shit, I don't want him to be miserable and I know job hunting sucks but I'm fed up of struggling to make ends meet when hes not even trying!

Not hard at all to get a CSCS card. You have to do a Health and Safety course and it all costs about £50 in total - all information here:

www.citb.co.uk/cards-testing/construction-skills-certificate-scheme-cscs/

But I'd also talk to agencies etc first as there are different types of card depending on the work you do.

If he is interested in construction, the CITB website looks useful. The course I mentioned that DP did is this one.

www.citb.co.uk/national-construction-college/plant-operations/telescopic-handler-cpcs-a17/

It seems he was very lucky because he didn't pay anything, but now the grant has reduced so it looks like it costs £500 (DP did the short course).

There's other jobs that don't involve driving heavy machinery like Banksman as well as labouring etc. I know someone who owns a roofing firm and he says there is a shortage of roofers, so perhaps that's another option - he may have to start as an apprentice, but he might find someone willing to take him on?

what does he do all day? why is he not doing all of the household chores. stop doing them and let them pile up. stop enabling him to be so lazy.

you are setting yourself up to fail. if you suggest he works at XX and then when it doesn't work out, which it wont, it will be your fault.

Getting a CSCS card is a lot more expensive than stated above as you have to pass the associated health and safety course as well.

X post - £500 for self financing sounds about right.

The cscs card is easy to get if he's willing to do a bit of studying, it's very simple common sense stuff with a couple of 'construction environment' based questions if you go for a basic level.
Can he set up job alerts to spam send him job adverts direct to his email

Also, if he's not getting his NI ticked at the job centre, then he's missing out on his contributions to his pension (I was unemployed but had "too much in savings" to get job seekers allowance, but still got my NI contributions ticked off by them)

He doesnt claim so you pay/ for everything for him to sit on his arse? Fuck that stick to your plan and tell him to get a job or get out.

me too Greyponcho? what the hell conversation does he have when he sits at home all day.

could he volunteer in the local charity shop? do anything, just to get him out of the house.

how long has he been at home?

Sooty. The £500 is for a course to become qualified to drive a telehandler.

If you just need a CSCS card for labouring etc, the cost is a lot less - the basic health and safety course according to the link I posted above is either £11.50 or £19.50 depending on type, so about £40-50 including £30 for the card itself.

Thanks, £500 might be manageable, FIL offered to loan him money to retrain.

I did try stopping doing the chores but the DC did them because it was annoying them, as it is I'm refusing to wash anything of DH's, he ran out of clothes a week ago, sill no sign of him doing any washing.

Wow!! how lazy can one man be.

Tell him to get work or get out.

I would be telling him to get the fuck out and not come back until he was in either education or a job.

This, but as I've just seen your last post about not bothering to clean his clothes I wouldn't be telling him to come back.

Why can't he clean his clothes? What on earth does he do all day?

He's been at home 7 years now, the first 6 months or so he'd been made redundant, then he got ill and was signed off, he's been well enough to go back to work about 18 months now.

Greyponcho I didn't know that about pensions, I will point that out, thank you.

As far as I can workout he plays online games. When DS started school I had a couple of months home on my own before DD was born and it was lovely the first few weeks but it got boring really quickly!

The number of people desperate to be self-employed baffles me when they don't have a dream to go with it. It seems to me just about not being told what to do or being supervised.

Plus almost everyone I meet who is self employed is utterly unable to meet the requirements of completing the (very easy) paperwork.

I agree with everyone who says tell him to get a job or move out. He's sponging off you and you know it.

I found temping was a good way to get a feel for lots of different jobs and workplaces.
Prison serivce?

just seen your last post about not bothering to clean his clothes I wouldn't be telling him to come back. yeah, its not exactly attractive, DS has even offered to teach him how the machine works.

7 years!! change the internet passwords before you go out to work and stop him being on line all day.

you aren't going to make this change are you OP? you are still labouring under the deluded belief that all he needs is a bit of encouragement and he will go out and find a job. He wont.

He contributes nothing to your household. Nothing.

are you prepared to give him an ultimatum OP? if not, then you might as well get the word "mug" permanently tattooed on your forehead because honestly if you let this carry on then this is what you are.

can you stick this for another 35 years?

What are his skills - is he handy at DIY, practical stuff? Or does he love working with kids (if he'd have been happy with SAHD) or does he enjoy sport?

There are loads of things he could retrain too, but no point if it doesn't come from something he's already slightly drawn too.

so, you have even roped the kids in to enable him. Wow again. what an example to set.

Let's face it, if he's too lazy to wash some clothes he's never going to get a job.

My husband works in warehousing, he's quite high up, but in his warehouse the packers (lowest grade you can be) are on 21k a year.

Call centres are options for lower qualification levels, you can work your way up a little there too.

I would absolutely be cutting off his I termed access and would not find mobile data either. He's behaving like a lazy team so great him like one.

And really, I would telling him to shape up or ship out.

If he signed up with a temping agency he would be working in a factory by next week probably. The issue is that he doesn't want to. And you can't force him to.
Stop doing any household chores for him, stop buying any additional items for him (men's toiletries, cigarettes, alcohol etc). Give him a date, by which he has to have a job or he is out of the house.
Oh and get him to sign on, it's ridiculous that he isn't getting help from the job centre.

So you are doing the work and parenting yourself, what does he do? (does he do at cheats good share of the parenting and household tasks, as he is out of work, or do you do that as well?) It sounds like he is behaving like a sulky child.

What would he enjoy / like to do then? At 35 though he has had quite a while to think about it. I'd have more sympathy if he had tried and was unable to find anything, but less so if there is work available and he just doesn't want to. I grew up with a dad like this and it was wearing.

I don't think he's qualify for JSA due to family income? Not sure.