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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How many children would you have ideally?

222 replies

AWitchCalledMeg · 10/07/2017 19:54

I mean ideally as in no time/age/money/fertility/cultural conventions/partner/lack of support etc barriers. How many would you have/have had?
For me.. about 6 or 7. I have two and one on way but have always loved the idea of big family.

OP posts:
TooGood2BeFalse · 11/07/2017 17:30

I always wanted 4, 2 boys and 2 girls.

I am 29 now and have 2 boys, aged 5years and 1 years.

I am mid-divorce and have basically raised them both on my own since their birth.I doubt I will have anymore as I can only plan my life from this point on with only us three in it as I have no idea what co-parenting is like.My first son has special needs so days can be long but he is a joy. So I will say that I am done having kids as I have two little ones who only have me..but if I ever found a partner who loved my boys as his own (not to the exclusion of their dad..he's just disappeared) I could be tempted to have another as I love being a mother.

PsychoPumpkin · 11/07/2017 17:36

I have 3. I think in an ideal world where I had the money & space & patience, I'd have another. But I'm happy with my lot.

Chaotica · 11/07/2017 17:38
  1. In a different life. (Funny thing is that before I had them I would have probably said 2, which I have.)
Mummamayhem · 11/07/2017 17:51

I wanted 3, husband probably still wants 4. We have 2 wonderful children, TTC for ages but it wasn't meant to be - I'm now very relieved and happy with our lot. I'm looking forward to more free time and more sleep!

n0ne · 11/07/2017 20:22

3 if we had limitless time, money and help. 2 under normal circumstances. Currently baking no 2 now Smile

Pistachiois50pmore · 11/07/2017 20:25

One. We have one. I was a happy only child myself.

DownstairsMixUp · 11/07/2017 20:25

3 if i was rich. I have 2 and won't be having anymore.

Londoncalling68 · 11/07/2017 20:37

3 if advancing age and limited finances weren't a consideration. I'd have 3 girls. I have two DD's and that's me done.

FaFoutis · 11/07/2017 20:39

I would have 4. I have 3 and getting too old for another.

Hedgehog80 · 11/07/2017 20:42
  1. We have 4
hippadoppaloppagorillapig · 11/07/2017 20:46

I wanted 4 when I was younger, but I have 2 and I'm happy & definitely "done"!

user1492023898 · 11/07/2017 21:01

One of each.

I think a bigger family could be nice, but only if I had a castle.

Jooni · 12/07/2017 05:14

I've always wanted 6, maybe even more, in an ideal world with no financial or practical concerns (e.g. needing a huge house and car, the effect on my career, childcare...)

4 would be my more realistic "ideal" number. As the eldest of 3 and the only girl, like the idea of an even number of kids (ideally 2 of each) so no one gets left out. I realise that would probably happen sometimes regardless though!

DH is also one of 3 and wants 3 (he's got a brother and a sister so he was in the majority!) so I think that's what we'll end up with. Probably just as well as we're not at all well off financially!

We currently have 2, a boy and a girl. I'm hoping all broodiness will evaporate after #3 but I highly doubt that will happen!

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 12/07/2017 05:21

4,which is how many I've got. 😁

Cinnamontwirl · 12/07/2017 05:27

Would have loved 3 but sadly have none (even with seemingly endless cycles of IVF treatment over the last few years).

aurynne · 12/07/2017 07:11

Wanted none, have none Grin

BingoFlamingos · 12/07/2017 07:19

I've always said five.
Three to seven years between each pregnancy (likely 5 between each of I could guarantee!)
Starting age 20-23 and finishing in early forties.

This is highly unlikely. (Definitely starting that early!) but it was the plan growing up, and I'd still love lots of children now.
The five year gap was really important to me as in theory as I had a new child the older would be going to school and I'd have time alone to bond with each one!

One would do me fine though!

Emboo19 · 12/07/2017 07:34

Always imagined myself with 4, I'm a only child so love the idea of a big family.

We have one (unplanned) and I think my boyfriend might come round to one more in time, but definitely no more.
I'd be ok with two, but if he wants to stick to one I'd have to seriously re consider the relationship.

2catsandadog · 12/07/2017 07:41

In theory, I wanted a big family, like 6.

Due to timing, infertility and life bollocks we only have 1. Yeah. 1 is quite enough thanks awfully. (Toddler taming at 42+ is no fun and bloody exhausting, at least I find it so!)

Rossigigi · 12/07/2017 08:37

5 or 6 ideally but finances only allowed 2, now I'm happy though as I'm getting my life back as they are independent (in now 36 and had my boys at 19 and 25

blueshoes · 12/07/2017 08:59

2, one of each, 2-3 year gap - our minimum and maximum number. This what dh and I ended up with and we are very fortunate.

Cutesbabasmummy · 12/07/2017 10:13

We have one much wanted DS. I'm waiting to be sterilised! WE only ever wanted one child and we now have him so that's it for us !

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