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Original poster

How many children would you have ideally?

222 replies

AWitchCalledMeg · 10/07/2017 19:54

I mean ideally as in no time/age/money/fertility/cultural conventions/partner/lack of support etc barriers. How many would you have/have had?
For me.. about 6 or 7. I have two and one on way but have always loved the idea of big family.

OP posts:
Montsti · 10/07/2017 22:09

I wanted 4 - 2 boys, 2 girls...

I'm currently pregnant with no.4...I have a boy, girl, girl and this is another girl. Just hoping for a healthy baby🙏😊.

Xoticdreamz · 10/07/2017 22:10

It was also hugely unlikely as it took me 4 years to get pregnant with my 3rd

KermitsLoveChild · 10/07/2017 22:10

We wanted 6 but stopped after number 4 due to health reasons for me. There's 11 years between eldest and youngest Grin.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 10/07/2017 22:10

Ideally, if I had my youth again, I'd have 2. Two years apart.

In actual life I have 3 - all born in different decades. The "nappy years" have been long & spread out Grin.

Can't say that I'd ever want to be without any of them now though!

VinIsGroot · 10/07/2017 22:11

Two...I have three. Two years age difference between them!
We'd planned 2 and 3 was a lovely surprise. Both Eldest DC are disabled ... DS 2 to much more of extent! .... I only have two knees and some days they all need a knee!

sdaisy26 · 10/07/2017 22:12

We have 2 and won't be having more though. For loads of reasons. The 2 we have are perfect for us.

stevie69 · 10/07/2017 22:12

Absolutely none. Whatsoever!

lorelairoryemily · 10/07/2017 22:13

We have one so far, hope to have 2 more

hopsalong · 10/07/2017 22:14
  1. I have 2. But 3 only in a world where I could afford a full-time nanny, or if we could manage a big age gap, so first two at school. With a FT job and patchy childcare 3 seems completely unmanageable to me. And I am probably too old for a big age gap.

In an ideal world I would also have both sons and daughters. And they would be impeccably behaved. And at least one would have red hair, like my father.

Happy and grateful with my 2 though!

stevie69 · 10/07/2017 22:14

Which is what I've got.... before anyone starts feeling sorry for my (non-existent) children Blush

TyrionLannisterforKing · 10/07/2017 22:15

2 in my early thirties. I still have a decade for that to happen, so plans are still on track.

Twins would be the most amazing thing ever: only one pregnancy, so one mat leave. Only one occasion of possible morning sickness,
too (emetophobe here).

With two:

  • Kids have each other's company, even if to bicker.
  • Family fits comfortably in a standard 5 seat car.
  • Would be able to live in a 4 dorm and still have a guest room (or simply pay less for a 3 dorm).
  • Time and money for their activities without many sacrifices.
  • University in my early 50's, allowing me to focus 100% on work during what I hope is the peak of my career.

That said, I would not mind only having one if that is what my finances/peace of mind permit.

sparkleandsunshine · 10/07/2017 22:16

I have one, I would love to have 3 but we'll probably end up with 2 because of money

weegiemum · 10/07/2017 22:17

I always wanted 3 and dh wanted 2. I made my peace with having 2 and thought we were done.

Then I very unexpectedly got pregnant with a mirena!! Came as a total bolt from the blue and we were shellshocked. I'd been very ill in my last pregnancy and advised not to have more. We went ahead and I had a horrendous pregnancy and was was ill for 2 years after dd2 was born.

Now we have dd1 (17), ds (15) and dd2 (13) and can't imagine life without her.

BertieBotts · 10/07/2017 22:22

I always wanted a big family, say 5, but having dealt with the reality of one Shock

I think 2-3 would be perfect however in my perfect scenario they are all within 3 years of each other so DS being a larger gap from the future ones probably means we'll have three, possibly four, though DH is dead against four - for now Grin

In reality I'm not actually that good at the whole family management thing. If I could have staff... or magic energy plus motivation and housework/organisational skills I'd be alright.

If I was a single parent I would have been happy staying with one. There's something special about the 1+1 relationship you have as a single parent with an only child. But as a couple one child isn't enough :(

lemureyes · 10/07/2017 22:23

4 or more, will have to see how it goes though as I'm only pregnant with our first 😉

OhTheRoses · 10/07/2017 22:24

I'm an only child and I was more than enough.

cluelessnewmum · 10/07/2017 22:25

Depends... If I could pay for a surrogate, 4 or 5.

I'm on 2nd pregnancy and I've felt terrible terrible terrible.

I could just about put myself through another one just because I really want 3,but I'll be truly relieved when I don't have to have another pregnancy!

Kigali04 · 10/07/2017 22:43

I would have four if I had the money and ability to stay at home

SindyFishtail · 10/07/2017 22:49

I have 2 - I would love 5 or 6 if it weren't for financial issues or age... I'm from a very big family and it was so much fun growing up as part of a big gang.

97% certain that we won't be going for no. 3. Makes me sad to write that down! Sad

gingerbreadmam · 10/07/2017 22:53

anything upto 4 but 1 would be a blessing. i love kids!

PinkCrystal · 10/07/2017 23:00

I always wanted a few probably 4/5. I have 5. Also always wanted twins and had them. Am very lucky as we had many losses too.

rednsparkley · 10/07/2017 23:06

Ideally I'd have 2 - everything is just set up for people who have 2. In reality I have 4. I don't regret having 4 but often I dream about the kind of lifestyle we could have if we only had 2 Blush

laurelstar · 10/07/2017 23:07

A lot of posters mention age as a factor that's put them off having more even if they've wanted them - can I be nosy and ask what age felt too late?

BertieBotts · 10/07/2017 23:08

Can we include twins in this imaginary build-a-perfect family? I've always wanted twins too but I love being pregnant so twins can be the last one so we get an extra bonus child Grin

FallenPetalsSummerDew · 10/07/2017 23:08

Wanted 3, have 4! Mc after number 2, then number 3 was numbers 3 and 4 - twins. All are close in age, its been a roller coaster! I'm sure there are points where I didn't sleep for days but I wouldn't change them for the world. Our family feels contentedly complete. Absolutely no desire to ttc.