Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How many children would you have ideally?

222 replies

AWitchCalledMeg · 10/07/2017 19:54

I mean ideally as in no time/age/money/fertility/cultural conventions/partner/lack of support etc barriers. How many would you have/have had?
For me.. about 6 or 7. I have two and one on way but have always loved the idea of big family.

OP posts:
Montsti · 10/07/2017 22:09

I wanted 4 - 2 boys, 2 girls...

I'm currently pregnant with no.4...I have a boy, girl, girl and this is another girl. Just hoping for a healthy baby🙏😊.

Xoticdreamz · 10/07/2017 22:10

It was also hugely unlikely as it took me 4 years to get pregnant with my 3rd

KermitsLoveChild · 10/07/2017 22:10

We wanted 6 but stopped after number 4 due to health reasons for me. There's 11 years between eldest and youngest Grin.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 10/07/2017 22:10

Ideally, if I had my youth again, I'd have 2. Two years apart.

In actual life I have 3 - all born in different decades. The "nappy years" have been long & spread out Grin.

Can't say that I'd ever want to be without any of them now though!

VinIsGroot · 10/07/2017 22:11

Two...I have three. Two years age difference between them!
We'd planned 2 and 3 was a lovely surprise. Both Eldest DC are disabled ... DS 2 to much more of extent! .... I only have two knees and some days they all need a knee!

sdaisy26 · 10/07/2017 22:12

We have 2 and won't be having more though. For loads of reasons. The 2 we have are perfect for us.

stevie69 · 10/07/2017 22:12

Absolutely none. Whatsoever!

lorelairoryemily · 10/07/2017 22:13

We have one so far, hope to have 2 more

hopsalong · 10/07/2017 22:14
  1. I have 2. But 3 only in a world where I could afford a full-time nanny, or if we could manage a big age gap, so first two at school. With a FT job and patchy childcare 3 seems completely unmanageable to me. And I am probably too old for a big age gap.

In an ideal world I would also have both sons and daughters. And they would be impeccably behaved. And at least one would have red hair, like my father.

Happy and grateful with my 2 though!

stevie69 · 10/07/2017 22:14

Which is what I've got.... before anyone starts feeling sorry for my (non-existent) children Blush

TyrionLannisterforKing · 10/07/2017 22:15

2 in my early thirties. I still have a decade for that to happen, so plans are still on track.

Twins would be the most amazing thing ever: only one pregnancy, so one mat leave. Only one occasion of possible morning sickness,
too (emetophobe here).

With two:

  • Kids have each other's company, even if to bicker.
  • Family fits comfortably in a standard 5 seat car.
  • Would be able to live in a 4 dorm and still have a guest room (or simply pay less for a 3 dorm).
  • Time and money for their activities without many sacrifices.
  • University in my early 50's, allowing me to focus 100% on work during what I hope is the peak of my career.

That said, I would not mind only having one if that is what my finances/peace of mind permit.

sparkleandsunshine · 10/07/2017 22:16

I have one, I would love to have 3 but we'll probably end up with 2 because of money

weegiemum · 10/07/2017 22:17

I always wanted 3 and dh wanted 2. I made my peace with having 2 and thought we were done.

Then I very unexpectedly got pregnant with a mirena!! Came as a total bolt from the blue and we were shellshocked. I'd been very ill in my last pregnancy and advised not to have more. We went ahead and I had a horrendous pregnancy and was was ill for 2 years after dd2 was born.

Now we have dd1 (17), ds (15) and dd2 (13) and can't imagine life without her.

BertieBotts · 10/07/2017 22:22

I always wanted a big family, say 5, but having dealt with the reality of one Shock

I think 2-3 would be perfect however in my perfect scenario they are all within 3 years of each other so DS being a larger gap from the future ones probably means we'll have three, possibly four, though DH is dead against four - for now Grin

In reality I'm not actually that good at the whole family management thing. If I could have staff... or magic energy plus motivation and housework/organisational skills I'd be alright.

If I was a single parent I would have been happy staying with one. There's something special about the 1+1 relationship you have as a single parent with an only child. But as a couple one child isn't enough :(

lemureyes · 10/07/2017 22:23

4 or more, will have to see how it goes though as I'm only pregnant with our first 😉

OhTheRoses · 10/07/2017 22:24

I'm an only child and I was more than enough.

cluelessnewmum · 10/07/2017 22:25

Depends... If I could pay for a surrogate, 4 or 5.

I'm on 2nd pregnancy and I've felt terrible terrible terrible.

I could just about put myself through another one just because I really want 3,but I'll be truly relieved when I don't have to have another pregnancy!

Kigali04 · 10/07/2017 22:43

I would have four if I had the money and ability to stay at home

SindyFishtail · 10/07/2017 22:49

I have 2 - I would love 5 or 6 if it weren't for financial issues or age... I'm from a very big family and it was so much fun growing up as part of a big gang.

97% certain that we won't be going for no. 3. Makes me sad to write that down! Sad

gingerbreadmam · 10/07/2017 22:53

anything upto 4 but 1 would be a blessing. i love kids!

PinkCrystal · 10/07/2017 23:00

I always wanted a few probably 4/5. I have 5. Also always wanted twins and had them. Am very lucky as we had many losses too.

rednsparkley · 10/07/2017 23:06

Ideally I'd have 2 - everything is just set up for people who have 2. In reality I have 4. I don't regret having 4 but often I dream about the kind of lifestyle we could have if we only had 2 Blush

laurelstar · 10/07/2017 23:07

A lot of posters mention age as a factor that's put them off having more even if they've wanted them - can I be nosy and ask what age felt too late?

BertieBotts · 10/07/2017 23:08

Can we include twins in this imaginary build-a-perfect family? I've always wanted twins too but I love being pregnant so twins can be the last one so we get an extra bonus child Grin

FallenPetalsSummerDew · 10/07/2017 23:08

Wanted 3, have 4! Mc after number 2, then number 3 was numbers 3 and 4 - twins. All are close in age, its been a roller coaster! I'm sure there are points where I didn't sleep for days but I wouldn't change them for the world. Our family feels contentedly complete. Absolutely no desire to ttc.