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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How many children would you have ideally?

222 replies

AWitchCalledMeg · 10/07/2017 19:54

I mean ideally as in no time/age/money/fertility/cultural conventions/partner/lack of support etc barriers. How many would you have/have had?
For me.. about 6 or 7. I have two and one on way but have always loved the idea of big family.

OP posts:
InDubiousBattle · 10/07/2017 21:15
  1. We have two and I would love another. Dp doesn't want any more. I'm trying very hard to get over it.
PaintingOwls · 10/07/2017 21:16

Not sure - I go between thinking one because I was an only child for 7 years and loved it, and was DEVASTATED to get a sibling. But then I think 4 would be nice, have 2 close together initially and then another 2 10 years later.

ShastaBeast · 10/07/2017 21:17

I always thought 3 if at all. I had two and there's no chance I'd have another, especially as the gap would be at least six years. There are health issues but it's hard to figure out if that's really the reason. Having none or one could've been sensible in retrospect. I have no idea how anyone would consider more than 3, I'm just not cut out for parenting.

Kikibanana86 · 10/07/2017 21:18

I have 5 and actually there is nothing stopping me from having any more, I'm very well off financially and I don't have to work.

I'd like at least one more, maybe 2 or 3 more. But I had 5 in 6 years, my youngest is 3 now and I'm 31, so I wouldn't want anymore for another few years.

Susiethetortoiseshellcat · 10/07/2017 21:19
  1. I have 1 and would like another. Always thought the dynamics of 2 siblings was better than 3 (I am one of 3!)
fanfrickintastic · 10/07/2017 21:19

2 but I only have one and it'll stay that way.

jaggythistle · 10/07/2017 21:21

Just one more.... :D That's how I always seem to feel. Love a squishy newborn.

Same as Writer - I'd like loads if I had the time/money.

But we have 3 and I already feel like I'd struggle with another and be stretched thin, so I have to stop now. At least one of us has to work and it turned out to be me as I have the higher salary. We are lucky to have one of us at home but I don't think DH wants to be SAHD for ever...

ladystarkers · 10/07/2017 21:21

4..I have 4😊

MotherofPearl · 10/07/2017 21:22

I have 3, but in the ideal world OP describes I think I'd go for 4. Too old now to have another I think. But 3 is lovely. Smile

peachgreen · 10/07/2017 21:22

If I had all the money and time in the world (and didn't loathe being pregnant so much) I'd have 4. As it is, I'll be over the moon to have 1 and will hopefully end up with 2.

PenguinsAreAce · 10/07/2017 21:22

2 is the most sensible number.

I have four. This is my ideal really, but I need the mansion, £££, cleaner, gardener and hands on grandparents, plus nanny to make it really hum. Without these things it is joyful chaos and bloody hard slog.

mamma2016 · 10/07/2017 21:23
  1. We have one at the moment and not sure I can persuade DP to have a 2nd let alone a 3rd!
GreenHillsOfHome · 10/07/2017 21:23

It seems fairly common to want four but have three.

Lyn29 · 10/07/2017 21:26

2 Both girls but just have 1 girl has DP doesn't want anymore Sad

AncientOva · 10/07/2017 21:28

I would have loved three. I have one. I started too late and have had two losses in the past year. Now trying to come to terms with the fact that my dd won't have any siblings.

Extremely grateful to have dd though, as she is magnificent.

HurtleTheTurtle · 10/07/2017 21:29

Struggling to have 1, but would like to have 3.

JoJoManon · 10/07/2017 21:31

Just the one. I always wanted one daughter and that's what I got. I very, very occasionally think that more would be nicer but then I remember that for me the upside of more would be vastly outweighed by the downside.

Panicmode1 · 10/07/2017 21:34

We have 4...having said we'd stop at 3. Definitely. That was it. Grin

llangennith · 10/07/2017 21:34

Wanted 3, had 3. Even got the genders I'd wanted. Girl, boy, girl. I was fortunate it all turned out as I wanted. How naive I was!
My three DC all wanted three but DD1 stopped at 2 (a girl and a boy) and DS and DD left it till they were in their thirties and stopped at one boy each. They both wish they had more children.

MissAlabamaWhitman · 10/07/2017 21:38

I have five and ideally I'd have liked just one more.....

froggers1 · 10/07/2017 21:38

One but have two! Find it v hard work and my health is not the best..second was a surprise...it's all ok but I prefer less chaos...

Dumbledoresgirl · 10/07/2017 21:42

I would have liked 6.

I stopped at 4 for so many reasons: age, the nature of my last pregnancy (it was a bit hairy at times), financial. Plus I had had to twist dh's arm to have the 4th. No way would he have agreed to another.

Soubriquet · 10/07/2017 21:43

If you had asked me this a year ago, I would have said three-four

Now it's one or maybe even none

I've got two and whilst I adore my children, I do wish I had waited

Twopeapods · 10/07/2017 21:43

I always thought 3/4.
I have two DDs and feel done. I feel stressed enough with them! Don't know if I can deal with more illnesses/broken bones/hospital visits!

goose1964 · 10/07/2017 21:44

One but I had three, love them all though