Could of, would of and should of...

[pictish]

NO!

could have
would have
should have

It's past tense...it's stating what you could have done, would have done or should havedone. Could've, should've, would've are actual contractions of those terms...they're in the dictionary and everything!

It's not could'f, would'f or should'f is it?
'Of' makes no fucking sense! Stop using it!

I'm not generally one for the grammar pedantry but this one makes people look thick in a way that other common grammar mistakes don't imo.

Sorry...but I felt the need to express. Boot me about if you want.

Good! I can remember kids at primary writing words like likl and bokl (little and bottle).

If you heard someone call a pencil a penso then you'd call it a penso too. Especially if you were a lito giro.

YANBU, OP.

What annoys me most is misuse of 'stood', 'sat' and 'laying'. I hate to read 'He was stood there' instead of standing, 'I was sat in the cafe' instead of sitting, and worst of all ' he was laying there' instead of lying. Why can't people get this basic English? Makes me cringe!

I agree! It's absolutely awful and makes the person using it appear very uneducated.

It seems to be something that is peculiar to the UK, so it makes me wonder if it's actually taught in UK schools?

But surely stood is past tenses? E.g. He was stood there.
What's the heck is wrong with that?!

It should be "he stood there" (past tense) or "he was standing there" (past continuous).

Mac and cheese is an abbreviation in the same way spag bol is - it is NOT a mispronunciation!

emmyrose

No it's not taught in schools. It's something that certain people say according to their regional dialect, in my case in informal speech

Actually I say it (Essex). Certainly not uneducated (could go into detail there but that would make me look like an arsehole). Certainly would never write it.

Seneca

I wonder whether the 'was stood' arose because when you stand, you are staying still, so whilst you are continuing to stand still, the action itself (standing) is static. I'd like to know whether that's why the colloquialism (as I see it) lives on.

I aslo say 'was sat' which supports my argument. Can anyone think of any other verbs where that error occurs?

It's just Non-Standard speech.

Just clicked out of a post on here because the OP used "hadn't of."

The most recent example that made me twitch was 'sort after'. If something is in demand, it's sought after.

The inappropriate use of 'myself' drives me nuts. Also recently I've seen 'we where going' or ' they where in the shop' instead of 'were'. Unlike of and 've, where and were don't even sound alike!

Spent ages the other day, waiting by the whiteboard at work until everyone had gone, so that I could erase the apostrophes from the plurals that were written there.

I need help don't I?

Alot. Just why?!

I actually find grammar pedants more irritating than the mistakes. I work for a publisher which leads to many making rules up that don't exist in a weird attempt to look clever. I also think many of the 'mistakes' are really just predictive text.

I am on this thread over 'he was stood there' because I have never, ever seen this written by anyone and spoken language is often different particularly regionally. I would say that in some scenarios.

It is almost the new form of snobbery, let's judge those who are more Northern/ have a broader accent/ are less educated.

Off topic a bit, but seeing as this is a thread for pedants, I feel obliged to point out that it's Catherine of Aragon, not Katherine as a couple of pps called her.

Shirley as soon as I read giro, lito, penso, I knew you were in Scotland. I could 'hear' it straight away.

Increasingly - I'm Scottish, have a very broad Scottish accent and came away from school with two standard grades, which remained the level of my education until quite recently, when I returned to college to do an HNC. I am certainly not snobby about Northerners, accents or education. Ok?

And can I add 'bored of'.
Like MNHQ have posted about 'fed up of', it's also 'bored WITH' not 'bored of'.

You cannot be 'bored of' something. You are bored with it.

When I first taught, decades ago now, in English GCSE you lost (roughly) one mark for every grammar or spelling error (English.) There was pressure on teachers and students to 'get it right'.
The marking scheme changed to only a meagre 5% of marks allocated to good use ( or not) of spelling and grammar.

DD's excellent state sec school used to send out a 'grammar of the week' letter to parents. It covered everything here- mainly of/ have , laying /lying and apostrophes.

If you say so pictish. Lucky that you had a good education though eh?

Increasingly To say this is snobbery or such is ridiculous. I don't understand why your publisher makes up rules that don't exist- what kind of publisher is that? I'm an author with published books- never come across a publisher who makes up rules about grammar.

My 'native accent' is full of dialect and strange pronunciations. But I know that generally in life, if you are in work, you are expected to be literate and to be able to use the English language correctly. This doesn't mean you also abandon your roots if they are north of Watford.

Just clicked out of a post on here because the OP used "hadn't of."

If she had used "hadn't have", I think it would still be incorrect.

If you say so polly it isn't ridiculous at all. It is about education and people who have been less fortunate in lots of ways are far more likely to have poor written English.

I obviously meant people not a publisher. A publisher is a company so does not write or say anything. Wittering on about 'split infinitives' and identifying informal language as incorrect (in the context of emails rather than published material).

We are entitled to our opinions and that is mine.

Increasingly - I had a primary education the same as every other child in this country is entitled to. Then I went completely off the rails in High School, eventually being expelled in third year, moving to another school for fourth year while truanting pretty much all of third and fourth year respectively. My 'education' was laughable. What are you talking about?

I think people just hear should've / could've / would've and think it's should of.

I have a rhotic accent and have noticed that where I live now, (Home Counties), lots of people say draw when they mean drawer. My, (Hampshire born), DH once challenged me during a game of scrabble as I'd put down the word 'pattern'. He thought it didn't have an r in it. He is extremely bright, just not brilliant at spelling and grammar.

A lot of people here also seem to confuse the words brought and bought, which is another strange one.

Also, the "I was laying there / sat there / stood there" thing and "I'm going Tescos", "all she does is go Tescos".

I rarely hear these particular errors anywhere but in England. Where I'm from in Ireland, there are still errors and quirks, but they are different. Some, not all, of them are cultural; e.g. because phrases are borrowed directly from the Irish language, "I'm only after a cup of tea". I'm sure there's a similar cultural reason for some of the errors I hear in England, but not sure what it is.

I sometimes wonder if phonetics is the best way to teach children to read in an area where everyone has a non-rhotic accent. Some English accents aren't really phonetics friendly maybe? But then I've never had to learn to read in a non-rhotic, English accent.

OK so that gives you the right to judge those whose education was even worse or who for whatever reason didn't pick up grammar as easily as you. If you say so, as I said above. It is up to individuals to decide their own morals and values. I don't like it personally and I'm entitled to that opinion.

Re Henry VII's first wife...

She was baptised Catalina, but once in England signed her name "Katherine", "Katherina", "Katharine" and sometimes "Katharina".

Loveknots built into his various palaces by her husband display the initials "H & K".

The Scottish thing is interesting. I'm originally from rural Aberdeenshire and was at primary school in the late 60's and early 70's (before oil and the influx of outsiders). Outside school everyone spoke the Doric dialect, not just an accent but a lot of dialect words. Inside school we spoke and wrote English in class. I wonder if this helped us not to make the mistakes described by littleshirley - its easier to spell "girl" if your alternative is "quine" not a differently pronounced girl.
Its quite sad that much of that dialect has gone from where I was brought up, certainly I have been speaking "pan loaf" for decades. I used to settle back in to the dialect when I went home but that doesn't happen now and I've forgotten many of the words. Its a shame because many of them are very expressive.