Could of, would of and should of...

[pictish]

NO!

could have
would have
should have

It's past tense...it's stating what you could have done, would have done or should havedone. Could've, should've, would've are actual contractions of those terms...they're in the dictionary and everything!

It's not could'f, would'f or should'f is it?
'Of' makes no fucking sense! Stop using it!

I'm not generally one for the grammar pedantry but this one makes people look thick in a way that other common grammar mistakes don't imo.

Sorry...but I felt the need to express. Boot me about if you want.

They carried away milk from Tesco?? Might have been better to have purchased it first, but ...!

Increasinglymiddleaged the only reason I bothered to write that is because, on a thread about pedantry, people are always eager to point out any mistake made by a pedant e.g. "Oh you think you're so clever, but you can't even spell "there"". Otherwise I assume people know a typo when they see one so it's unnecessary. Just shows that whatever I had done someone would've taken the piss.

Please will someone with a linguistics background address my theory about the "was stood" and 'was sat' spoken error?

Am interested in what you think about it

As for 'would of', as this thread demonstrates, people do judge. I think it's good to point it out, just have others have done about my own little Essex foibles.

Ilove

Shurely "would of taken the piss"

In summary:

I think there's a difference between spoken and written grammar. Those who are perhaps not as "literate' won't realise their written mistakes if they've either not been educated in English or who've not read much in English, and will therefore tend to transfer their spoken language directly into their writing.

Makes posters sound thick?! Really! I can quite happily say unless someone types SO badly I just can't understand it at all, I really just don't care. It's the Internet, we aren't being graded.

I care, or at least notice and it distracts me for a second. However, I know I make lots of typos and grammatical errors of my own, so I don't usually judge (unless the poster swears - then I judge!!).

Autocorrect is a pain too: I type something out and press send, only to read it back and find "her" has changed to "get". 'tis annoying!

@NotYoda - I think you've hit the nail on the head. People who type "would of" probably don't read books or anything that's been professionally written and edited, Grauniad excepted.

NotYoda

I think your theory is probably along the right lines. The use of the past participle when the traditionally correct tense would be the past continuous only seems to apply to standing and sitting (and not, say, brushing, licking, hoovering, walking etc.).

My gut feeling is that it is a kind of passive formulation. Not that they've been 'sat' by anyone, just that the sitting is a passive thing, a background. Or, as you put it, static.

I say this formulation all the time but would never write it in anything formal or commercial.

My gut feeling is that it is a kind of passive formulation.

This makes sense. It's also interesting that it seems to be only a feature of British English.

I'm from the Southern US; there are lots of non-standard expressions and constructions that we would use in speech, but not in writing.

Sorry, I came as fast as I could!

'Text' as a past tense of the verb 'to text', reins v reigns, and something I've seen a lot of lately 'viscous' attacks. Vicious, ffs!

Thank you. I'll go now.

I get the rage when people say "I done it/I done that" instead of "I did it/I did that"

Also people asking for advise instead of advice.

I received a text from DD school to day with 'would of' 🙈

Plinky/Seneca

Thank you.

I've only just read this thread, but agree with a pp re "myself". You don't sound posh - you sound a twat and if I have to read it on one more official communication at work , I swear I will ram a copy of "Grammar for Dummies" up their arse. Sideways. Then set fire to it...

I'm off for a lie down in a dark room now.

DH and I use a lot of slang, incorrect constructions, colliquialisms and joke words when we SPEAK, not when we write.
Brought and bought are easy
Brought - you bring something, not bing it
Bought - you buy something, not bruy it
The clue is in the "r"

I TEXT him

They should REIGN IT IN.

The above are littering this forum.

How did you even bring yourself to write that title?!

colloquialism

I have dyslexia and I know the difference between of and have. I was diagnosed at university.
I struggle to sight read and deal with word order, but I've never had a problem with spelling or grammar.
Plenty of self-diagnosed dyslexics out there who will disagree with me though.

I read a message from a teacher earlier today where she talked about having parents evening's on various day's...aargh!

Remember: shoulda woulda coulda are the last words of a fool...

...I'm sorry.

Couldnt help myself, just had to vent somew here. Seen twice today on another thread 'UPmost'. It's 'UTmost'!!!

Couldn't and somewhere.