Could of, would of and should of...

[pictish]

NO!

could have
would have
should have

It's past tense...it's stating what you could have done, would have done or should havedone. Could've, should've, would've are actual contractions of those terms...they're in the dictionary and everything!

It's not could'f, would'f or should'f is it?
'Of' makes no fucking sense! Stop using it!

I'm not generally one for the grammar pedantry but this one makes people look thick in a way that other common grammar mistakes don't imo.

Sorry...but I felt the need to express. Boot me about if you want.

YANBU!! This is just for you OP!

I do like that, yes.

May I just add to this list of punishable-by-death grammatical errors: 'Fed up OF'?

It is fed up WITH, in the name of all that is holy, and no newfangled nonsense will convince me otherwise.

Totally agree. Seeing 'could of' in AIBU stacks the odds against the OP from the very beginning

Yes yes yes, all of these are like nails on a blackboard to me!! Especially in AIBU where people reply write out your not being unreasonable meaning YANBU. No! What about the A?!

I just can't correct people irl though, the main culprits on my FB etc just wouldn't care if I did and I'd just end up looking petty

I'm foreign and I've read "chest of draws" written down on buy & sell pages so many times that I started thinking I was wrong and everyone else was right!

Oh dear... Dr F I have to say that I say Yup!! I have so many errors which grate I don't know whether I can choose the top one, the most irritating of all, but currently I am trying to instil into my teenage DCs' heads that it is "go AND get" or "go AND do"... there are no verbs "to go get", "to go do", etc...😡

Chester draws...I mean I ask you...so funny! I always want to say the clue is in the name. It's a chest of drawers. Just like the drawers you find around the place. Do they have a cutlery draw or a sock draw. Course they don't. Muppets.

A lot of people don't speak properly.

Someone very close to me say "8 times by 8 equals 64". Just as well we are really close, otherwise...

YANBU. I agree with PP, "try and" "I am sat here" give me the rage

Talking of funny interpretations, I once had a dear and very articulate friend describe something to me as, "very picture-skew" (picturesque). I laughed about that for ages.

I saw something recently that said,
"Never make fun of someone if they mispronounce a word. It means they learned it by reading."

I thought that was sweet and often true. Chester draws though - it's just misheard and hilarious with it.

Only non-rhotic speakers make the draws for drawers mistake. And they do it in the singular too.

Talking of funny interpretations, I once had a dear and very articulate friend describe something to me as, "very picture-skew" (picturesque). I laughed about that for ages.

I would've assumed she was joking and knew the correct pronunciation. Are you sure she was serious? A lot of people deliberately mispronounce words for comic effect. They assume you know they're joking not ignorant. The example you quoted "picture-skew" for "picturesque" is one of the most common deliberate mistakes.

Just had to google that. Very interesting. I'm Scottish and we pronounce our r, so yeah....that could make sense.

Err...no. I'm certain not. She was embarrassed...not badly, but we laughed about it. I adopted it from her...I still say picture-skew. I've never heard anyone else say it.

I learnt a lot of words by reading. I pronounce some words incorrectly.
Bade, awry and so on might have been mispronounced at some stage. I love picture-skew.

By not speak properly, I mean things like saying drawring for drawing.
I say drawer as draw-uh, so chester doors/draws makes no sense.
"I could of done" makes no sense because who on earth would say "I of done"?

Someone used "ur" instead of "your" on a thread I read yesterday. I immediately reported her as a troll.

Must go back and rtft but yes, I agree wholeheartedly!
I taught my class this over and over. Along with,
Supposed to (apposedty- as in ; I'm apposedty go home at 2pm today because I've got the dentist)
Used to (newsty - as in; i newsty go swimming on a Friday but I don't now )
Oh, and don't get me started on kids writing giro, penso, lito; when they mean girl, pencil, little. And that's after me pointing it out!!!!!!
weeps
If you don't pronounce it properly, it's highly unlikely that you'll be able to spell it properly!!!!
A child said to me the other day, when I asked if she had brought her PE kit;
"My dad magot."
She meant- "My dad forgot."
And said it with the same emphasis.

I except that you might of come across these but they don't effect me.
Seriously though littleshirl, they're fascinating. Are you in the South East?

Mikeuniformmike
Nowhere near the south east!!!! Am in Scotland and I've come across these so often in 25 years of teaching!
Except the magot one! That's a new one, even to me

I'm also a twitching proofreader GemmaB and I feel your pain!

I will always remember the poster in my GCSE English classroom that read: 'could, should and would should never be followed by "of", unless this is itself immediately followed by "course".' The error is a pet peeve of mine!

(Although people who confuse 'accept' and 'except' run a close second, as do people who confuse conjugations. If I hear 'last night you was in my room' one more time...)

Interesting. Are you from that area? Is it the local accent that causes them to say penso for pencil and giro for girl? Magot is quite unmagottable...
What age group are your pupils?

MikeUniformMike
I'm Scottish, through and through! I have honestly heard all these consistently throughout my 26 years of teaching, 24 of which have been in the same school!
And it's not just me! I've heard every teacher say the same thing! The class I'm talking about were aged 6/7 but I've taught every stage and I've heard exactly the same things!
I've heard children who live nearby me speak like that too!
As for penso, giro, lito etc, well again, I think it comes down to pronunciation! I've seen pupils look quite shocked when I tell them it's girl, pencil etc!!!!
I know there are other mn'ers from my neck of the woods here so hopefully, someone else will be along tomorrow to confirm this haha
PS my DC don't use these words or phrases

They're not actually saying pensO, girO, litO per se.
Rather, they're just not really pronouncing the "L" st the end. Does that make sense???
I suppose it's like a Scottish version of chest of draws!!!! (Where the final "R" is inadvertently missed out.)