AIBU?
To send him to a premier inn?
Orangeseed · 09/07/2017 02:19
DH has just stumbled in at 2o'clock having been out to a venue which shut at 11. Incidentally the venue is about 10 minutes drive away and it was a strip show he had been to watch.
I'm now 8months into a difficult pregnancy and feeling totally pissed off!
I've sent him to sleep in the spare room tonight but would I be unreasonable to send him to a premier inn tmw?!
Orangeseed · 09/07/2017 06:05
No explanation for the missing three hours, just a load of abuse when I told him to sleep in spare room.
I was not at all fine with the night out in the first place, never mind the missing three hours!
And yes northernparent I actually do have to account for every minute, if I'm not working I'm expected to be at home. In over 11 years of living together I have been out at night without him TWICE! That's in total! Once in the first few months of moving in and once last year, both times I had to come home early.
JamesSpaderMadeMeDoIt · 09/07/2017 06:21
Yup spade and patio. Or hoover and drilling next day.
On a more serious note - the expectations that you should be at home when not at work is worrying.
what would happen if you went AWOL for a few hours? For example do some shopping / or call in on a friend at the last minute? / go to a strip club at stupid o'clock....?
Orangeseed · 09/07/2017 06:44
He has had the power for our whole relationship and I'm starting to realise its not normal.
I'm not sure I'm ready to go it alone but I know if I don't things will never be better.
I've had an awful year including the death of my dad and this pregnancy has been so hard, I think something inside me is changing.
loveka · 09/07/2017 06:45
This man sounds like he is emotionally abusing you. It is a classic indicator that he won't allow you out without you accounting for every second.
For your child's sake you need to seriously think about the relationship. You seem to be minimising it somewhat, but this is really serious.
My dad was like this with my mum. My childhood was horrendous, watching him control her. And of course, it became my life too, I was a part of it. I ended up hating both of them because of the pure misery at home. I left as soon as I could and my poor mum was bereft without me. Do you want to subject your child to this?
Orangeseed · 09/07/2017 06:56
I don't want any of my dc thinking this is normal, I think they are too young (4 and 6) to have noticed yet.
They do love him though and I never wanted to raise them in a "broken home" the thought makes me so sad. I'm trying to hang on to the anger from last night.
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