to make my son stop using his nickname?

[Seriouslybeary]

Namechanger here, if anyone recognises me irl they'll be laughing I'm sure.
When I was pregnant with my 3rd my older kids went through a phase of changing the first letter of their name to B. William Billiam, that sort of thing. Hilarious. Dc3 was born and we named him Carey. So he was immediately called Carey Barey. The B phase has long passed, but somehow Carey Barey stuck and he is now almost everywhere known as Bearey or Bear.
Fine, Bear is a perfectly valid name if you are Cheryl or Jamie Oliver. But it's not the name we chose. And Bearey is just ridiculous.
He gets quite ratty when I write his proper name, and has done since he started recognising letters. At nursery he insisted his name began with B. They asked me what they should do and I told them to just let him use B if he wanted to, assuming he would grow out of it. But no, almost at the end of yr3 and he still introduces himself as Bearey. People I don't really know often say politely "Oh you're Bearey's mum, what an unusual choice of name".
But what can I do now? I've left it too late.

WIBU to insist he uses his proper name now? I would be, wouldn't I?

His teacher for next year is new to the school and y4 up is in a different building so this would be a good time.

Or do I just leave it? Tell me when he gets to secondary school he's not going to still be introducing himself as Bearey? God I hate it so much. How did I let this happen? Me and my dad are the only people who insist on calling him by his proper name. Everyone else thinks Bearey is really cute and full of 'personality'.

My great aunt had a sister who had been known as Dick since she was a toddler. I have no idea what her actual name was, but it wasn't Williamina or anything like that.

So long as he knows his name is really Carey. If he chooses to use Bearey let him get on with it. He's always got the option to return to Carey later if he wants to.

I stupidly called one of mine "Bean" as a nickname and he will now answer to "Dean" which is what people have misheard and assume his name is!

Sorry OP but there's nothing you can do about it to be honest.

Bearey sounds a bit shit, but BEAR is cool as a nickname. Better than some nicknames!!!

A lad I knew at school was called BOD because he looked like the cartoon character BOD, and even 25 years later, people still called him that!

Same with a lad who was called TANK (coz he was fat,) and even worse, ... DH knew a girl who was about 25 over TWENTY YEARS AGO at his workplace then, and she was nicknamed 'mattress' because she slept around with a few men in the factory.

Now, 23 years later, she is married with 2 kids and a grandchild, and every time I am with DH and he sees her, (maybe twice a year,) he says 'just saw Mattress there.' I just glare at him in disgust. It really fucks me off.

Also, a woman near me has 2 sons called Adam and Daniel, and they nicknamed them Addy-pops and Dangy-doo as little boys. Now they are 30-odd, and the mother still calls them these pathetic nick names.

So it's possible that the nickname could stick with your son for life I'm sorry to say.

My son is called Alex but his younger sibling called him Aggie when she was learning to talk. It stuck. Ten years later we all call him Aggie/Aggs?Agginemnom ( no idea where that last bit came from!). If he wants to be called it, who am I to decide? It isn't offensive and he likes it.

Gosh I really like it!

I have a friend who is known widely as Bear (very professional job) and he is 51

In my class there were three Lucys. As 11 year olds, we decided the best way to tell them apart, was to replace the "L" with the first letter of their surnames, so we had a Mucy, Fucy and Pucy. Mucy and Pucy didn't last the term, but Fucy morphed into Foosa and she went to university as Foosa.

My DH had a boss called "Toffer", which turned out to be a nickname from when he was little and couldn't pronounce "Christopher". He was really posh and jolly and it suited him.

A friend went out with someone who everyone called "Frog". His real name was Elliot.

I'd let DS keep Bear.

Dd is Alexandra. But 99% of the tim she is Pea, to everyone except her school friends.

I used to know a Bod at school, as well!
I also knew a boy with the surname Graham who was nicknamed Gunner after Gunner Graham in It Ain't 'Alf Hot Mum! !!

My dad used to change my first initial to 'L' to become 'Lulie' when I was little, which then became Lulu. He sometimes still calls me that now and I am nearly 53 !

I'm sorry to laugh at your frustration but this is quite funny OP. He may grow out of it, he may not but either way it's not a huge issue. I knew a boy as a teen that we all called Spud, I never knew his real name, only that he hated it more than being called Spud so it could be worse OP! I also knew a Foxy, but I can't remember his real name now either.

Seems like there are lots of Bears in the non-celebrity world, I never knew.

And lots of people with names completely unrelated to their actual names.

WIBU to ask the school to use Bear in written things if he wants that instead of Carey but not to write Beary/Barey/Bearey since that's completely made-up and we can't decide how to even spell it? Then he's less likely to be mistaken for Barry which is the worst of all.

Fucy morphed into Foosa and she went to university as Foosa. Oh god.

Tell me he's not going to ask for Bearey on his graduation certificate? Please?

I like the name bear!

You might have to live with it - my dad is still known as Ned to all his oldest friends and absolutely everyone (except my nan) calls my grandad Fred. Neither are anything like their names.

And I'd kind of forgotten about the Barey/Barry thing, I haven't been asked that one in a while.

"Oh Barey, that's an unusual spelling. Is that a regional thing or a historic thing?"

"No his name is Carey, not fucking Barry!"

I'll laugh at all this one day, right? And it amuses my friends no end.

He likes it. What's the problem.

I say that bit if ANYONE shortens my DDs name o pull them on it straight away. Although she does have a few nicknames. 🤦‍♀️

I used to teach a lad called Gordy. Everyone called him Gordy, even his mum. His real name was Ryan

Oh god. I'd hate him to be called Barry. If anyone asks I would explain it was nickname. But if he's happy let him keep it. He might well grow out of it. It could also be a lot worse.

i hate my full name i litrally cring when anyone says it

we cant force peopl to use names we like for dcs

I come from a family of adults known by weird nicknames. Always a conversation starter. I don't want to out myself by putting the names, but I say just go with it.

I think you've had it at this point - the name is long since his now to decide rather than yours and it's his identity, he's made his feelings clear! (And Bearey is actually pretty cool )

I have every sympathy with him: I was called a nickname at home by family and friends from the day I was born, loosely linked to the name on my birth certificate. Aged 5 I had a row with the head teacher that the bizarre name they kept calling me wasn't mine, I still remember him showing it to me on the register, and felt completely alienated and weird about my 'proper' name all the way through school. (Never used anywhere but school.) I dropped the name the second I left school and have never used it since. I still hate that it's written on paperwork and it does mess with my sense of identity, that name is not me and I'm still deeply uncomfortable about it. It would have been much better if my parents had just gone with the nickname and braved it out from the start!

My cousin is Mick and has been known as Mouse since he was a toddler.
His siblings started calling him Mouse and it stuck. Everyone knows him as Mouse now...
His aunt hates and it always has, to the point of pretending she doesn't know who you are talking about if you ask about Mouse.

He loves it though!

I don't think you can do anything about it, OP. Other than a face and say it is a nickname when people comment about his unusual name

Is anyone else wondering what the op other children are called as Carey is unusual for a boy!

And I have a (self named) Boffin amongst my three!

I was dozing on the sofa and he came in and said 'mummy, it's me - little (his name) boffin'

I had no idea where it came from but now I often just call him Boff.

I totally feel your pain.

We jokingly referred to our daughter as (insert ridiculous nickname, think "Binky") since she was born.

She's 5 now, has ASD and was non-verbally up until recently so there's no way we can get her to understand that her name is a beautiful classic Latin name!

The other day I realised even the local authority educational psychologist had all her paperwork under this silly moniker.

mil went into labor at a lake camp,had him on a billiard table,
was immediatelly dubbed "scratch"
nothing like his real name
at least his mom calling him pumpkinhead didnt stick
his 52 and still scratch.had to explain it a few times tho

beary/bear
if hes comfortable just be sure he knows he cant use it legally.
sounds like a great boy

Bearey is lovely! Let him call himself what he wants.