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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to make my son stop using his nickname?

139 replies

Seriouslybeary · 08/07/2017 18:16

Namechanger here, if anyone recognises me irl they'll be laughing I'm sure.
When I was pregnant with my 3rd my older kids went through a phase of changing the first letter of their name to B. William Billiam, that sort of thing. Hilarious. Dc3 was born and we named him Carey. So he was immediately called Carey Barey. The B phase has long passed, but somehow Carey Barey stuck and he is now almost everywhere known as Bearey or Bear.
Fine, Bear is a perfectly valid name if you are Cheryl or Jamie Oliver. But it's not the name we chose. And Bearey is just ridiculous.
He gets quite ratty when I write his proper name, and has done since he started recognising letters. At nursery he insisted his name began with B. They asked me what they should do and I told them to just let him use B if he wanted to, assuming he would grow out of it. But no, almost at the end of yr3 and he still introduces himself as Bearey. People I don't really know often say politely "Oh you're Bearey's mum, what an unusual choice of name".
But what can I do now? I've left it too late.

WIBU to insist he uses his proper name now? I would be, wouldn't I?

His teacher for next year is new to the school and y4 up is in a different building so this would be a good time.

Or do I just leave it? Tell me when he gets to secondary school he's not going to still be introducing himself as Bearey? God I hate it so much. How did I let this happen? Me and my dad are the only people who insist on calling him by his proper name. Everyone else thinks Bearey is really cute and full of 'personality'.

OP posts:
NotYoda · 08/07/2017 18:43

Beary's nearly as nice as Carey. I know you didn't choose the former, but he likes it (for now)

It is a PITA to have to explain the name, but I have to do that a lot for the name my parents chose for me

Just be glad you didn't choose something more embarrassing as a nickname ...

DaisysStew · 08/07/2017 18:44

Aww, I think it's cute. My DS is Liam but when he first started talking he couldn't say it so called himself Leemy - bloody adorable. He can say it now but I still call him Leemy.

I'd just leave him to it, a rose by any other name and all that. Wink

chupsmelad · 08/07/2017 18:47

I'll just have to say his dad chose his name.

I really don't get this. Just laugh and say it's a nickname. He's entitled to be called whatever he wants. That doesn't mean you have to pretend you chose it though Hmm

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 08/07/2017 18:48

My dniece had a nickname that reflected her spiky personality-she changed it by deed poll in her 20s. Sorry op.

BuzzKillington · 08/07/2017 18:52

This would drive me nuts too, OP.

My eldest has a great name (imo). When he was in y10, his mates, inexplicably started calling him Neil. I was horrified as it stuck. Fucking Neil!

I couldn't believe that we given him a lovely name only for him to be saddled with bloody Neil!

Thankfully, he went to uni where no-one knew him and Neil has all but been forgotten.

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour · 08/07/2017 18:53

I have to say my DD is Scarlett, we did the B thing too, Scarlett barlett which has evolved to being shortened to Bar! Blush

LadyTmalia · 08/07/2017 18:59

If people comment on his unusual name let them know its a nickname. its really none of their business :D Don't blame his dad (pst its cute)

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 08/07/2017 18:59

Its his name. He can call himself what he likes. You can't stop him.

RaingodsWithZippos · 08/07/2017 19:00

buzz my best friend at school was Neil, but we called him Felix. Always. His mum used to get really narky if I phoned and asked to speak to Felix, which made it all the more hilarious. My parents think of him as Felix and can't remember his real name. We don't even know why we started calling him Felix.

haveacupoftea · 08/07/2017 19:00

Neil made me laugh Grin Bear is a great name!

mumoseven · 08/07/2017 19:03

My dd is always called by her nickname in the family, a nn which is nothing like her real name. I have never called her anything else. The name evolved.

Supersoaryflappypigeon · 08/07/2017 19:05

We call my brother Brian. It's not his name, it's nothing like his name. It just stuck Grin

strikealight · 08/07/2017 19:11

I have a nickname that is nothing like my proper name. People I love know it and use it . Parents used my proper name only when cross with me. Teachers always used it , so do work colleagues. Helps me put my serious hat on. Colleagues who are now friends use it or their own diminutive versions of it. It makes sense to me.

Seriouslybeary · 08/07/2017 19:12

You're right, I need to chill. Dh thinks it's great that he has a nickname, says he's wanted one himself his whole life but never got one. And if our son's nickname is "Bearey" rather than something contrived then so much the better.

There was a mum at his swimming class recently said in the changing room (where she obviously didn't realise sound carries through the partitions) "I bet his mum is copying Cheryl and Liam, their new baby is called Bear isn't he?" The fact that my Bear(y) has been around for years longer has obviously passed her by. She's an idiot and my boy is super-cool, right?

OP posts:
strikealight · 08/07/2017 19:14

She's an idiot.

anchor9 · 08/07/2017 19:14

but this is a proper nickname! the shit nicknames are the ones MNers have picked out before they have even conceived Hmm

strikealight · 08/07/2017 19:14

And he is super cool. You have to read him Bear Grylls kids books Smile

brasty · 08/07/2017 19:16

I worked with someone who this happened to. Similar nickname given as a baby, now a 60 year old man and still using it. His actual name is a very traditional name.

Sashkin · 08/07/2017 19:17

Some poor kid in my school was called Peggy "because his penis looked like a peg". I have no idea when it started, but Peggy was completely established by the time he was ten, and he was still known as that when he was eighteen. I didn't even know Peggy wasn't his real name until GCSE.

Xmasbaby11 · 08/07/2017 19:17

Sorry, that's so funny! It's not a bad nickname and he does have his real name if he wants to return to it.

I like Carey and Bear as names but I totally get that you love his real name.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 08/07/2017 19:17

In defence of those on Baby Name threads, they mean 'shortening', not nickname. Isabella, Izzy not Bella = preferred shortening, not nickname. Beary = nickname. :)

CoverYourKneesUp · 08/07/2017 19:18

My sister's nickname is Happy and it stuck with her from babyhood now into teenage years. It's just her name as far as we're concerned... though we do get phone calls when we've ordered a birthday cake making sure we want it to say "Happy Birthday Happy" Hmm

Cantspell2 · 08/07/2017 19:26

Could just revert to his real name as he gets older. My youngest was known for years by a nick name but he is now 19 and uses his real name to introduce himself and with his friends. Only his immediate family use his nickname now

user1468353179 · 08/07/2017 19:26

My brother has been called Ozzy since he was a toddler. He's mid 40's now and his real name is totally different

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 08/07/2017 19:27

Tiger Woods had done alright for himself without using his given name

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