Help me with a "Hell no!" reply, please.

[AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley]

Seriously- someone left the gate open at Cheeky Fuckerland this week!

It's my birthday in 9 days. (Actually, it's my bday on Monday- but I'm celebrating in 9 days). I don't usually do anything, but it seems like an absolute age since we all got together, so I've organized a curry night at home. A few mates and their kids, music, etc.

I've got a whatsapp group (lazy, couldn't be arsed to send the same text 170 times😂), which the girl in question is a part of. It's been a bit of a riot on there (people suggesting silly themes, etc, all good fun). She hasn't said a word on it.

She pinged me privately and said "my five are excited about next Saturday- they love Aunty Radley's cooking", etc, etc. And then the clanger (I think)

"What time is (my DH) picking them up? It'll have to be before 3 because I've arranged to go out".

Um...HUH?

I said she must have got her wires crossed- she was invited WITH the DC, and I've askrd everyone to arrive at about 5.30-6! (This is why I mentioned the Whatsapp group btw- these details have been mentioned several times on there, with people joking that they'd be arriving by private jet 😂).

Answer: "They'll be fine coming to yours early. I'll bang their sleeping bags in the boot and DH can drop them off about 3pm on Sunday".

I haven't replied.

I don't want to be responsible for five other kids without their parent there! We have no room for them to sleep over either! My DC share a room in a two bedroomed apartment. It'll be a squeeze getting everyone in on Saturday night, but that's always part of the fun.

In a nutshell:

Am I being selfish? I want to let my hair down as much as I can that night- anyone who's read my other active thread will know it's been a stressful month, and I need it!

If IANBU, please help me craft a reply.

If IABU and completely selfish, help me somehow work out a sleepover arrangement? How practical is it to squeeze 7 kids into one roome? (DB will be sleeping over in the lounge, and he snores like a lawnmower on acid, so impossible to share a room with, much as I love him)

?????

"Total crossed wires, . It's my birthday party, not a sleepover for the kids. No children are coming without their parents or staying over. Shame you're busy so you and the DC can't make it, we can arrange something for the DCs another time."

Don't talk about crossed wires or say sorry. It sounds like there is room for manoeuvre or room to appeal to you.

"It is a grown-ups party for my birthday. Children are welcome to accompany their parents to enable all my friends to come. If you cannot come, do not bring your children."

Yep, short and sharp reply required here.
'Hell, no!" actually seems perfect IMO

Or "You misunderstood: no sleep-overs and no guests before 5.30pm. Sorry you cannot make it, see you some other time maybe" if you value your friendship with her.

Hope you'll have a great day when it comes

Done.

I put...

"LOL! I Won't even be looking after my OWN kids that night, let alone anyone else's! And unless you want them sleeping in the bath, there'll be no room. DB will be staying over, and as you know we can hear him from Stafford when he's had a beer in him, so he's nabbed the lounge.

Will I see you here or not?"

To answer people's questios, no, we're not related. I've known her off and on for about 20 years- we drifted, and have got baxk in contact this year.

No. It's my birthday party not a free babysitting and taxi service.

Something similar happened to me via my daughter...I had invited people over for drinks in the summer and said kids could sleep over in the tent, it was a Friday night. Friends daughter gives me her overnight bag at school drop off and tells me she can't wait to have a sleepover! Her Mum went out on the razzle and didn't pick her up til 11 the next morning.

I was so baffled and taken aback I didn't say anything...thankfully nothing like that has happened with her since as I'd deffo have to say something if it did.

She bought me chocolates though when she did come over so I know she knew she has been a completely cheeky cow. But then, maybe she desperately needed a night off but didn't feel able to ask.....anyway OP, back to you!

Good reply! Can't wait to see what she says! Cheek of some people...

Ps, DH will take over sole kid duty for my two- I promise I'm not leaving them outside or anything 😂

I really hope you're a troll as I hate to think there are real people out there like this.

If the laws of nature do not prevent such people from existing, then they probably do exist, somewhere.

Since it is not physically impossible to be such a cheeky fucker, she is either real, or there's someone else like that out there.

Sad fact.

Why havent you just replied like a normal person? Mumsnet is weird. You just say irs a grown up party not for kids without parents. Quite simple

Reply with something similarly unrelated:

Oh wow! That's so sweet of you to collect my kids and take them to Disneyland for the weekend!! Honestly they're so excited!! I've booked a cab and they'll be round at yours at about 8pm Friday! Sophie has had the runs but it's nearly over!

She'll be fine with them sleeping in the bath, shed or wherever. As long as she can go out and have free babysitting.

You must go on the whatsapp group too and report on there that it is a party and not a free babysitting service for cheeky fuckers. No need to name, just put the message out there.

'you want me to WHAT?? on my BIRTHDAY??'

is all you need to message back

I'm so looking forward to her reply. I can't believe anyone would be so ridiculous. Why would she think you would want to babysit HER children on YOUR birthday??

My word, brass necked behaviour appears to be catching. Café tab friend, Workzilla and now Partyzilla.

YANBU, she's being a cheeky fucking mare. I would ask her why on earth she thinks you would want to babysit 5 kids on your birthday.

Oh my, cheeky fuckers are out in force this week. Looking forward to updates...

good reply OP

What a piss taker, I'd see my arse over something like this and we'd probably end up falling out. I bet my bottom dollar she is upset by your reply no matter how it is worded and suddenly becomes the victim.Stand your ground.

Seriously, if I were you it'd be "Haha fucking nice try knob head, almost had me for a minute "

Is she related to you? Sometimes relatives seem to think that the normal rules of society don't apply to them (or is that just my family?)

"It's my birthday party so no unaccompanied children and no overnight guests as I imagine I'll have one hell of a hangover the next day".

lemony
Do this!! Feign incredulousness?

Just here to see the outcome

after you've replied to her privately, I would post in the whatsapp group "There is no picking up, babysitting or sleepovers happening at this party! It is a night to celebrate MY birthday - not yours!"

I agree with MrsKlug.

Also put something on the group now saying there has been some sort of a misunderstanding.

This is not a kids party they are welcome with their parents.

You are not babysitting on your birthday celebration and there is no space for anyone to sleep over.

Time in case anyone is confused is between 5:30 and 6:00.

Finally your DH is not on taxi duty that night.

I love your term 'cheeky fuckerland' I want to go there sometime for workshops on cheeky fuckery.