Help me with a "Hell no!" reply, please.

[AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley]

Seriously- someone left the gate open at Cheeky Fuckerland this week!

It's my birthday in 9 days. (Actually, it's my bday on Monday- but I'm celebrating in 9 days). I don't usually do anything, but it seems like an absolute age since we all got together, so I've organized a curry night at home. A few mates and their kids, music, etc.

I've got a whatsapp group (lazy, couldn't be arsed to send the same text 170 times😂), which the girl in question is a part of. It's been a bit of a riot on there (people suggesting silly themes, etc, all good fun). She hasn't said a word on it.

She pinged me privately and said "my five are excited about next Saturday- they love Aunty Radley's cooking", etc, etc. And then the clanger (I think)

"What time is (my DH) picking them up? It'll have to be before 3 because I've arranged to go out".

Um...HUH?

I said she must have got her wires crossed- she was invited WITH the DC, and I've askrd everyone to arrive at about 5.30-6! (This is why I mentioned the Whatsapp group btw- these details have been mentioned several times on there, with people joking that they'd be arriving by private jet 😂).

Answer: "They'll be fine coming to yours early. I'll bang their sleeping bags in the boot and DH can drop them off about 3pm on Sunday".

I haven't replied.

I don't want to be responsible for five other kids without their parent there! We have no room for them to sleep over either! My DC share a room in a two bedroomed apartment. It'll be a squeeze getting everyone in on Saturday night, but that's always part of the fun.

In a nutshell:

Am I being selfish? I want to let my hair down as much as I can that night- anyone who's read my other active thread will know it's been a stressful month, and I need it!

If IANBU, please help me craft a reply.

If IABU and completely selfish, help me somehow work out a sleepover arrangement? How practical is it to squeeze 7 kids into one roome? (DB will be sleeping over in the lounge, and he snores like a lawnmower on acid, so impossible to share a room with, much as I love him)

?????

I'd go with Otter's reply

What the fuck makes her think that this is ok?

Don't know who's group party message you've mixed mine up with but mine is the adult not kid shindig!

Dear fuck-wit,
Unfortunately it isn't appropriate for your DCs to be here early as my DH and I will be making our way through the karma sutra and there's no way we'll have our clothes back on before 5.30. It also wouldn't be appropriate for them to stay the night - the swingers party begins as soon as all the kids have left. Hope you can still make it - and could you bring some lube?
Cheers.

Ha ha cheeky cow!!!
Allthebestnames reply is great. Personally I'd have replied assuming it was a huge joke!

Loll!! You got me going there, wouldn't that be a great way to spend my birthday?! Good joke 😝 see you at about 6pm then!

Keep us posted, we need to know now.

What kind of crazy friend is this?! Have you known her long?! Is this out of the ordinary for her or just par for the course?

Either way I couldn't writer better than some of the pps texts. Just wanted some context!

I'd also go on the main whatsapp group and say something along the lines of 'there seems to have been a bit of a misunderstanding so I wanted to make sure you all understood that this is a party for you and your families to help celebrate my party. I am not able to look after unaccompanied children or host them for a sleepover'

Love this 😂 sorry OP.

I'd be inclined to agree with TheAntiBoop

Do as AntiBoop suggests but name and shame her. 'After a message from xxx I just want to clarify..........'

Blatantly placemarking for a response! If the WORKzilla and lunch buddy threads are anything to go by, this one will be a doozy

Cheeky bint.

How about:

HAHAHAHAHAHA. You almost got me there. Sorry you and the kids can't come, see you another time.

What about:

Dear Cheeky Fucker,

You must be having a laugh! It's my birthday, not yours. If you can't come, neither do they.

Fuck off.
OP

Oh my god this is nuts! The cheek!

I wouldn't find that difficult to respond to at all.

"Sorry if it's not clear- I don't want to be responsible for 5 kids who aren't mine on my birthday! The invite was for all of them. No space to sleep over. Sorry if you can't make it and have other plans, will have to catch up another time."

It really is that simple.

PARTYzilla!

I can't believe you thought you might be being unreasonable about this

I'd have probably answered "er, it's my birthday party, I'm not babysitting your children for you" - or - probably something politer along the lines that you wrote

Just what I was thinking Breakfast!

Just relayed the situation to dh and his response was 'you'd just tell them to fuck off - it just would t happen'.

Cheeky mare! Only saving grace would be that she'd got completely mixed up with another party.

I love the way she doesn't want them back till Sunday afternoon. So you and your DH will have to keep off the booze at your party to enable her so sleep off her hangover.

Perhaps PARTYzilla has WORK?

People are fucking rude!

You have to text back or she won't know it's not on x