Help me with a "Hell no!" reply, please.

[AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley]

Seriously- someone left the gate open at Cheeky Fuckerland this week!

It's my birthday in 9 days. (Actually, it's my bday on Monday- but I'm celebrating in 9 days). I don't usually do anything, but it seems like an absolute age since we all got together, so I've organized a curry night at home. A few mates and their kids, music, etc.

I've got a whatsapp group (lazy, couldn't be arsed to send the same text 170 times😂), which the girl in question is a part of. It's been a bit of a riot on there (people suggesting silly themes, etc, all good fun). She hasn't said a word on it.

She pinged me privately and said "my five are excited about next Saturday- they love Aunty Radley's cooking", etc, etc. And then the clanger (I think)

"What time is (my DH) picking them up? It'll have to be before 3 because I've arranged to go out".

Um...HUH?

I said she must have got her wires crossed- she was invited WITH the DC, and I've askrd everyone to arrive at about 5.30-6! (This is why I mentioned the Whatsapp group btw- these details have been mentioned several times on there, with people joking that they'd be arriving by private jet 😂).

Answer: "They'll be fine coming to yours early. I'll bang their sleeping bags in the boot and DH can drop them off about 3pm on Sunday".

I haven't replied.

I don't want to be responsible for five other kids without their parent there! We have no room for them to sleep over either! My DC share a room in a two bedroomed apartment. It'll be a squeeze getting everyone in on Saturday night, but that's always part of the fun.

In a nutshell:

Am I being selfish? I want to let my hair down as much as I can that night- anyone who's read my other active thread will know it's been a stressful month, and I need it!

If IANBU, please help me craft a reply.

If IABU and completely selfish, help me somehow work out a sleepover arrangement? How practical is it to squeeze 7 kids into one roome? (DB will be sleeping over in the lounge, and he snores like a lawnmower on acid, so impossible to share a room with, much as I love him)

?????

So she saw your invite as free babysitting while she went out??
Are you local to me op? Got 4 here and fancy a night out too? All got sleeping bags also. ...

Reply or they'll end up on your doorstep at 3 and she'll be out of contact till the next day.
Just reply with "I don't know why you think I want to look after your kids for the night on my birthday, I don't. I know you say they'll be fine here early, but I'm not fine with it. You were invited as a family for the EVENING not early and not an overnighter. If you can't attend I'm not offended, however I won't be hoodwinked into being a babysitter just because you have other plans for the night."

Anything wishy washy will leave the door open for her to wilfully misinterpret and bam you'll have her kids to look after.

loads of really good suggestions above.

whatever you do make it plain that the kids are not staying over. and not coming on their own.

She is being deliberately obtuse, she sees this a a night of free babysitting so she can go out!

Don't over think it. Your reply is

'Its not a sleepover,it's a party for my adult friends, but their kids are welcome - I'm going to have a few drinks and a long lie in the next day - if you can't come, don't worry, we'll get together another day?'

Good grief! 5 extra children. I think not.

I would simply text "what on earth would give you the impression that I want to babysit your children over night on a night I have planned to celebrate my birthday and enjoy myself? If you can't come there is no problem, but there is no way I am babysitting 5 children overnight!"

If IABU and completely selfish, help me somehow work out a sleepover arrangement?

I find it hard to believe you are in earnest when asking this.

😐

Not a troll- I've got posts on here. It's ok- I'd find it hard to believe me too, if I hadn't been the recipiant of the message!

Right- Allthebest 's answer it is.

Refarding the pick up/drop offs, that would be a thread in itself! DH always ends up being asked to pick up/drop off at stupid times. He's put his foot down this time- which means the number of declines has mysteriously gone up!

Are you two related? not that it makes a difference

What IStoleDipsysHat said.

You've got to tell her absolutely not happening.

Quick.

No need to craft a reply, just tell her how it is! Bloody cheek!

OP, every time you reflect back on this I can guarantee you will still be in disbelief! Even when you're an OAP!

No way!! That is crazy!! @allthebestnamesaretaken is the way to go!! Explain, there must be a misunderstanding, its not a sleep over or a kids event, its drinks & food for your birthday! Imo the fact she messaged you privately to respond, would suggest she knows its cheeky or if genuinly thought, she would of just said it on group message. She also only said the kids cant wait, not WE cant wait. I cant see how ur friend inviting u round for your birthday equals you wanna babysit? What is she doing with her child free night whilst everyones at HER friends birthday!

Are you sure she isn't on the wind up OP? Especially if the tone on whatsapp was jokey she might be having you on.

I LOVE that someone genuinely got it so mixed up that she thought you would babysit her kids for your birthday.
Please keep us update on her replies!

*I think you have misunderstood. You were invited as a family. If you are unable to attend that is fine but it would be not only inappropriate but also inconvenient for your kids to attend alone and stay over.

I am sure we'll all be able to get together for some family fun soon what with the school holidays approaching.

It's a shame you can't come but I appreciate that we all lead busy lives.*

.This. Why would you invite her kids to a sleepover unaccompanied to celebrate your birthday? Bonkers!

You can't allow this to happen! Please tell me you've fixed this?!

Wow what a cheeky cow, I'd send 'I never offered to babysit, kids were invited with their parents. If you can't come that's fine but I won't be having the children for you to go out, I'm celebrating my own birthday as you know.'

Where do you- and some of the other recent OP's we've had- find these friends?

Blondies reply is perfect

All of these replies are good, just pick one and text her NOW so that we can see her response there's no chance of her claiming she 'didn't see it in time' and just dumping them anyway. She must know she's being ridiculous, who randomly wants to babysit 5 random kids as their birthday treat? What a loon.

Short and to the point is best.

I'd be gobsmacked at her attitude!