Help me with a "Hell no!" reply, please.

[AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley]

Seriously- someone left the gate open at Cheeky Fuckerland this week!

It's my birthday in 9 days. (Actually, it's my bday on Monday- but I'm celebrating in 9 days). I don't usually do anything, but it seems like an absolute age since we all got together, so I've organized a curry night at home. A few mates and their kids, music, etc.

I've got a whatsapp group (lazy, couldn't be arsed to send the same text 170 times😂), which the girl in question is a part of. It's been a bit of a riot on there (people suggesting silly themes, etc, all good fun). She hasn't said a word on it.

She pinged me privately and said "my five are excited about next Saturday- they love Aunty Radley's cooking", etc, etc. And then the clanger (I think)

"What time is (my DH) picking them up? It'll have to be before 3 because I've arranged to go out".

Um...HUH?

I said she must have got her wires crossed- she was invited WITH the DC, and I've askrd everyone to arrive at about 5.30-6! (This is why I mentioned the Whatsapp group btw- these details have been mentioned several times on there, with people joking that they'd be arriving by private jet 😂).

Answer: "They'll be fine coming to yours early. I'll bang their sleeping bags in the boot and DH can drop them off about 3pm on Sunday".

I haven't replied.

I don't want to be responsible for five other kids without their parent there! We have no room for them to sleep over either! My DC share a room in a two bedroomed apartment. It'll be a squeeze getting everyone in on Saturday night, but that's always part of the fun.

In a nutshell:

Am I being selfish? I want to let my hair down as much as I can that night- anyone who's read my other active thread will know it's been a stressful month, and I need it!

If IANBU, please help me craft a reply.

If IABU and completely selfish, help me somehow work out a sleepover arrangement? How practical is it to squeeze 7 kids into one roome? (DB will be sleeping over in the lounge, and he snores like a lawnmower on acid, so impossible to share a room with, much as I love him)

?????

Cannot wait to see what the cheeky fucker replies

I love the idea of Cheeky Fucker Land. It would be off the A3 of course!

I am gobsmacked at the absolute cheek of her.

Nowhere near S Wales, sorry.

Well the guilt trip has started...

I'd love to put a screenshit on here, but I don't know how to black out names!

I'll copy her reply, but it may get confusing because I'm replacing all the names- apologies in advance!

"I don't think anyone gets my position to be honest. You've got someone you can dump the kids on when he comes home from work and who lets you sit on your arse crocheting all day. The kids will be upset they can't come. How many other adults are there?Can one of them keep an eye out well your cooking? And what exactly the problem with the sleepover bit? What's wrong with your bed? If the oldest three share that then (her youngest DS) on the camp bed and (her youngest DD) top and tail with (MiniRadley)?"

I've had the two youngest over for a sleepover before, and these were the sleeping arrangements then.

She's got to be winding you up? No one could actually be that cheeky!
Maybe her message wa a dare!!! 😂😂😂

Where does she think you are sleeping ?!?

Why does she think you want her kids when it's an adults party ?!?

arf at screenshit

Screenshit

I had a friend (or so I thought) who would pull this sort of stunt on me. I ghosted her eventually. These sorts of people refuse to take hints, you have to be blunt and straight out with a NO!

Are you supposed to sleep standing up?

it's not just that she wants you to babysit, but that she's sacking off YOUR party without so much as an apology in order to go somewhere else

That's the thing that leaped out at me too. It's incredibly rude. Clearly your party is deemed to be only suitable for kids. She's got a grown-up party to go to. And she can't even spare the time/energy to deliver her own offspring to your doorstep. It's just... where does one even begin? Shall we try to sympathise a bit for a woman who has five children and must find it quite difficult to sneak away to do her own thing once in a while?

... nah, let's not. She could have sneaked away to YOUR party and left the offspring with their dad, her mum, a babysitter etc, but no, your party is not interesting enough apparently. (I bet it'll be a blast, and all the better for the absence of cheeky-fuckery.)

"Shall we put it to the group?"

Don't let her guilt trip you! Text back something making it clear that this is YOUR birthday party, why on earth would her kids come without her and why on earth does she think YOUR birthday party is the time and place to try and claim free babysitting?

As for the 'what's wrong with your bed' bit, tell her you and DH plan to have lots of drunken sex in it after the party.

so where does she think you and your dh will sleep

What?

Just what?!

That's hilarious!!! Is she really that silly??!! X

WTAF? 😱😱 Why is it apparently YOUR fault she has nobody to dump the kids on?

Also: "Sit on your arse crocheting all day"?? None of my friends would be that rude to me.

You're going to have to lob that load of crap right back at her. Cheeky bint.

I also second the previous suggestion of putting something general in the WhatsApp, I'm sure the others will soon jump in with reassurances that nobody would be that cheeky and it might shame her into shutting up!

Jesus.

Text her back and tell her that it's your birthday, you'd like to sleep in your own bed, and you are in no way obliged to look after her kids ON YOUR BIRTHDAY (or any other day for that matter!)

Errr no fuck off... that should do it!

OP, please, please tell me you are on the windup. I can't believe these cheeky fuckers palming their kids off like this

Tell her to use a fucking babysitter, your birthday party is not a dumping ground for her kids.

Cross-posted with CF's comeback. There's only one appropriate response: a very short one, the second word of which is "off".

Wow, she is special, isn't she? That would be the end of that friendship for me.