Was this a cheeky thing to ask?

[gardendispute]

I have namechanged for this as it is potentially outing.
I own a property with a small mortgage which my dsis lives in, she has lived there for approximately five years. Dsis pays just enough rent to cover the mortgage and costs such as buildings insurance, which is around half of the amount that it would fetch on the open rental market. This situation came about as we were due to move out when dsis needed somewhere to live, so we held of renting or selling it and she moved in. This is a family sized home and dsis lives there by herself.

The aibu is that i have asked dsis if i would be able to use the large garden on the house for my baby dc's birthday party as it has large patio doors leading from the kitchen and a decking area, our own garden is currently in the process of being done up. It would be a small family party with no small children from outside of the family, so no chance of her possessions being ruined. I asked her as a favour as i am doing her a massive favour by letting her live there, her response was that no you can't as i dont want people walking on my grass, technically its not even her grass!
Is she being unreasonable or should i be treating her like any other tenant, even though she is my sister? Am i expecting too much from her and being cheeky? I need an outsiders perspective on this please! I am prepared to accept that i may be being unreasonable.

I think she's being unreasonable not to help you out.

I'm pretty horrified though that people think ops sister deserves to lose her home/have her rent suddenly increased massively over this

You're horrified that someone should pay the actual rent for their home after free loading off their sister for 5 years while being unwilling to do a small favour for said sister?

First, you shouldn't be horrified over people you don't know on the internet, and secondly get a hold of yourself.

I don't think you are unreasonable for asking, and I don't think your DS is unreasonable for saying no.
I would though, in the light of her decision, increase her rent to whatever market rate is. She will clearly do no favours for you, so she should perhaps expect the same in return.

Tbh, im not horrified over her paying market rent so long as it's implemented properly. As opposed to doing it out of spite. That's just stupid.
I AM however horrified by people suggesting eviction/ending a lease. And yes I am horrified that someone would kick a relative out of a home they have lived in for years and pay rent on- be it a low rent (which is no more her Dsis's doing than her own, op didn't have to agree) over something that is a minor annoyance.
I'd be surprised if any of you are landlords if you'd kick someone out over this!

Are you declaring this income? I'm not in UK, but Ireland. You would be taxed on the market rent, regardless of rental income received, where rent is between connected parties (and below market rent is received). Obviously after allowable deductions.
I'm not 100% sure of HMRC rules in these circumstances, but I would recommend you check this out. It could be a costly agreement.
I would not hesitate to offer my sister the use of my home, garden for a party and vice versa. It's what loving families would do for each other.
Your sister seems, based on what I've read here, very selfish and entitled.

Two separate issues here.
The rental arrangement and expecting a favour.
If the rent issue bothers you so much then sell your house.
Secondly I would not offer up my garden for a child's party, no way.
Why didn't you get professionals in to sort out your own garden?
Yes you have done your sister a favour but that does not mean you can do as you please with her garden.
Some people don't see favours the same as others.
You see them as I'll do you a favour, I hope you will do me a favour.
You sister sees it as someone has done me a favour full stop.

I don't think anyone is suggesting evicting the sister or upping her rent because she has refused to allow the garden party.
It is simply that the OP has explained the rental situation as part of the background and people are pointing out how much it disadvantages OP and suggesting she bring it to an end. She'd have got the same advice if she'd posted about the arrangement without mentioning the dispute over the party.

It's a tough one.

I am an auntie a couple of times over and I regularly volunteer to hold their parties at my house because I love them and because it means i can help my brother and his wife out with it all (my kids are a bit older). And I don't get why anyone wouldn't want to be that type of aunty.

In terms of the renting thing, I see your point as you are helping your sister out massively but at the same time, if you do that, you should accept that it is her home and she is entitled to say no if she wants to.

Maybe chat to her again and tell her you respect it's her home but she'd be doing you a massive favour etc and see if you can come to a compromise x

She's entitled to enjoy her house and will have tenants rights. However it would have been kind to help you. However she's clearly not interested in sisterly behaviour or favours. So maybe think about upping the rent closer to normal rates

It would have been nice for your sister to host the party, but I think that and her rent are two unconnected issues.

I also rent my home from a relative at very very low 'mates rates' as part of what I think is a mutually beneficial arrangement. I know I'm very lucky to have this deal. However, if my relative/landlord asked to throw a party at my place I definitely wouldn't feel obliged to say yes! My home is still my home, regardless of how much rent I pay.

And if I got wind of my relative saying something like 'technically it's not even her grass!' I'd be really hurt. When you rent somewhere it becomes your home and you can be just as houseproud as someone who owns their own place.

But this is not any old party, though! Or even a "kids' party" as some people have been describing it. It seems to be a family party, to which the sister renting the property was invited! If it were an adult party of the OP's friends, that would be a totally different matter and I'm sure the OP wouldn't have asked.

I'd look to rent outside family op and give notice. This sounds like the last straw in her being a user.

Never reciprocal invites
Borrowing big things like your mower and still not returning
Not doing her sister a return favour.

I'd be pissed off too.