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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask to use baby change if I'm not a customer?

67 replies

rugratowner · 04/07/2017 15:03

If I wanted to use a baby changing room, and the NCT baby changing app suggested a local Costa. (Busy location in London lots of people rushing passed and didn't have time or money on this occasion)
AIBU to ask Costa to use their baby changing facilities if I am not actually buying anything from them?

(They allowed me in, but she made a small deal about it being 'just this once')

Perhaps I am being a little cheeky?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 04/07/2017 15:10

I think you should buy something even just a bottle of water

Cafes don't generally like people using the loo without paying so I don't see it should be different because you have a baby

Skarossinkplunger · 04/07/2017 15:11

Yeah, sorry I think it's unreasonable. I'm often out an about all day (at work) and if I need them use the loo I'll nip
Into a coffee shop but I always buy something.

GreeboIsACutePussPuss · 04/07/2017 15:11

There are usually signs saying that toilets are for customer use only, I've always taken this to include baby changing, so it is a bit cheeky. Unless of course you are in a town like mine, in which case the council shut all the toilets and did some deal with local businesses about using theirs, which is fine during opening hours but not great in the evenings.

BlahBlahBlahEtc · 04/07/2017 15:14

I wouldn't personally see a problem with it, I always let kids use the loo where I work because kids need to go you know! I don't let adults unless they buy something (policy) but I actually got a warning once for letting a 2 year old use the loo ..even though she was dancing about she needed to go so badly (I work in a petrol garage and there's nowhere else in the vicinity to go). We don't have baby change but if we did, I'd let you use it. My manager wouldn't though.

Floralnomad · 04/07/2017 15:15

YABU , the facilities and upkeep are paid for by paying customers , why should someone else subsidise you changing your baby / using the facilities.

kali110 · 04/07/2017 15:17

Yes yabu,

Glumglowworm · 04/07/2017 15:17

YABU you should buy something

PotteringAlong · 04/07/2017 15:18

You're being more than a little bit cheeky...

newmumwithquestions · 04/07/2017 15:18

I'd agree that you should always buy something. That said DC1 did have an accident once when we were out and about and I darted into the nearest (pub) toilets to get her changed. I didn't buy anything as I'd left DC2 with someone for a couple of minutes and needed to get straight back. In a coffee shop I'd buy something small to take away.

Unihorn · 04/07/2017 15:19

I let everyone use our toilets at work, even if we are not open at that time. I don't see the big deal. Positive interactions with my store are always valuable, whether the customer is buying something or not.

However this isn't the policy for all companies for whatever reason so you may be being a little unreasonable. I've not used the NCT app so I don't know if it specifies whether a purchase is necessary but may be useful for them to try to include that information.

sleepyhead · 04/07/2017 15:20

YANBU to ask but YWBU to kick off if they said no, customers only or similar.

ProudAS · 04/07/2017 15:21

Or what about a small tip for good service?

Sirzy · 04/07/2017 15:21

I would at least buy a bottle of water or something. Seems a bit cheeky otherwise

Tazerface · 04/07/2017 15:22

I think in a busy Costa it isn't very fair as generally they have one loo only.

I used to try and find a Mothercare or any large department store - although in an emergency I would have done the same.

DappledThings · 04/07/2017 15:23

I decide depending on the type of cafe. Smal, independent always buy something, big chain like Costa no obligation. Same as needing the loo as an adult.

HeyRoly · 04/07/2017 15:26

I would just walk in and use the baby change without a second thought.

I think it's one thing to restrict toilets to paying customers only (although if it was urgent I'd just bloody walk in and use them, personally - Costas are always busy, so who's notice?) but I don't think a baby deserves to be sitting in poo for any longer than necessary.

Floggingmolly · 04/07/2017 15:34

What does "what a baby deserves" have to do with it, Roly?? It's mother just has to be a paying customer Confused

HeyRoly · 04/07/2017 15:36

The chances of someone apprehending me on the way to the loo is vanishingly small, so...

Skarossinkplunger · 04/07/2017 15:36

Exactly what Flogging said. Just buy a bottle of water or leave a tip!

Carley27 · 04/07/2017 15:40

It's a bit cheeky without buying anything, but given that you didn't have any money I don't think it's unreasonable to ask.

Obviously up to them whether they let you but I imagine people are more likely to let you use them when it's for a baby/child.

JayneAusten · 04/07/2017 15:42

Eh? Change it on a bit of grass somewhere.

Tazerface · 04/07/2017 15:42

I wouldn't buy anything in a Costa though - I'd be queueing for twice as long as changing the baby would have taken!

Tazerface · 04/07/2017 15:43

Jayne - pretty sure OP lives in England. You know, not perpetually dry and warm? What an idiotic thing to say.

PavlovianLunge · 04/07/2017 15:44

I'd have said buy a bottle of water, but I think the tip idea is a better one, assuming you can afford it.

OobryJoobry · 04/07/2017 15:45

I would buy something. That said, I once popped into a pub to use the loo and, after I'd been, I went to buy a drink to justify using their facilities. I ordered lime and soda, which turned out to be free! I felt very cheeky.