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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask to use baby change if I'm not a customer?

67 replies

rugratowner · 04/07/2017 15:03

If I wanted to use a baby changing room, and the NCT baby changing app suggested a local Costa. (Busy location in London lots of people rushing passed and didn't have time or money on this occasion)
AIBU to ask Costa to use their baby changing facilities if I am not actually buying anything from them?

(They allowed me in, but she made a small deal about it being 'just this once')

Perhaps I am being a little cheeky?

OP posts:
Girlsworld92 · 04/07/2017 21:53

I would use a chain such as costa or m&s. They won't notice plus I'm sure I've more than paid my dues in there 😂

HipsterHunter · 04/07/2017 21:58

She didn't have any money Sirzy

She didn't have we any actual cash but she did have her debt card although apparently paying with that is a 'faff'. And basically didn't want to 'waste' money on buying food or drink.

Heartoverheadhouse · 04/07/2017 23:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhSoggyBiscuit · 04/07/2017 23:34

I often go in and use the loo in Costa Coffee, our borough has them down as community toilets so you can just go in and do a wee or change a baby.

No high horses needed here.

toastandbutterandjam · 04/07/2017 23:43

They've closed all our public toilets where I live, so Costa is the only place. They have 5 toilets, downstairs ones are locked and staff will only open them for customers (already made a purchase) and those upstairs have a passcode on them which you get on your receipt.

I've lived here since I was little and I remember there being SO many toilets. Our small shopping centre have closed their public toilets too!

AlmostAJillSandwich · 05/07/2017 00:09

Its a very sad state of affairs that public toilets are a necessity that can become obsolete. Everyone has to use the loo, and as far as i am aware it is a basic human right to have access to a toilet.
I have an oversensitive bladder nerve, i can have literally an egg cup full of fluid in there and it freaks out and makes me feel like i've got half a bathful in there and i'm stretched to bursting. I get literally 3 minutes if that to get to a toilet, there's no holding it. Sadly i also have OCD and IBS, it takes me an hour to use the toilet as i can never only have a wee, no matter how hard i try, and if you've ever had diarrhoea you'll understand why. Add in the OCD rituals and my need for as close to silence as possible, it just would not work. Even a disabled toilet (which i would qualify for a radar key, my similarly affected sister has one) wouldn't have suitable provisions, and given theres usually only one i couldn't justify taking up the only disabled loo for an hour. The result is i can only go out in a car, and have to stick very close enough to home that when i get uncomfortable i run straight to the car. There have been many an abandoned shopping basket half full and the likes. Being able to use public toilets would give me some more freedom, but i am all too aware how many places just don't have toilets. I'd still be restricted to just supermarkets and shopping centres like the trafford centre, so not even much better off than i am now. Plenty of women have post child birth bladder issues, add in all the elderly, and little kiddies, how has this been allowed ot happen that they just don't exist, and worse, the very few that do, have turnstiles you need change to get in!

If the councils are going to take away public loos, they should be the ones to compensate local places with loos for none customers who inevitably need to use them. No person should be left in a position of wetting themselves, regardless of age or medical condition, because the cannot afford to buy something to gain access to a loo.

Was quite interested by Kelly Osbourne wetting herself in london last week when a Starbucks refused her to use the loo as she didn't have time to buy anything as was desperate. The store did issue a statement that they don't actually have a customer loo (surely must have a staff one?) as the premises is too small and to go the the store a few streets away. Clearly she couldn't make it, anywhere with a loo, even shops too small for customer ones but have staff ones, should allow people a wee ffs.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 05/07/2017 00:52

I didn't have any cash and to be honest I could have paid on my card, but that's a faff

Oh come off it. Paying with a contactless card is less of a faff than paying by cash. Even with a pin still less as no need to look for the right money, open a till, get change. You were cheeky and you are trying to justify it.

kel1234 · 05/07/2017 01:20

I would never go into a place like that and not buy something. I feel it is very cheeky and I wouldn't do it. At least say "I'm sorry I really need to change my little one first, I will get something in a minute".
Even when I was pregnant, now I know no where can refuse a pregnant woman use of a toilet, but I still got something, because I felt bad about it.

Pengggwn · 05/07/2017 04:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

foxessocks · 05/07/2017 05:08

I think it's ok for babies or little children tbh. My 3 yo needed a wee the other day when we were driving home and the only place to go was a Ford dealership - I definitely wasn't going to buy a car! They were lovely and let us use their loo no problem.

RainbowPastel · 05/07/2017 07:05

YABU it's not a public convenience. It's a facility for paying customers.

YABVU to call your baby bubba

rugratowner · 05/07/2017 08:08

I find it entertaining that people have got so wound up about this.HmmGrin

I asked incredibly politely (in a please can I ask a favour voice) and the barista clearly appreciated that I didn't just walk in and use it before asking. (I said thank you on the way out and she said your welcome have a good day) Grin

OP posts:
rugratowner · 05/07/2017 08:09

Words to the effect of 'have a good day's I should say.
I don't want to me slated for inaccuracies hereGrin

OP posts:
LassWiTheDelicateAir · 05/07/2017 09:02

You really have a nerve. You are expecting this to be provided for nothing.

hungrywalrus · 05/07/2017 09:19

As long as you ask, I think it's fine. You can always leave a tip. From the point of view of the café, if someone asks politely to use the facilities the chances of them trashing them are low but the chances of repeat business are high. No one has ever denied me the use of their loos before.

When caught really short, I flatten out the pushchair, put a waterproof cover over it and change baby there. Obviously somewhere discreet. Not always possible in winter though.

andintothefire · 05/07/2017 09:19

In the circumstances you describe, I think using the baby changing room was absolutely fine. I also think it was fair enough for Costa to say "just this once" (i.e. You had an emergency situation, partly because the train changing was out of order, and few other options).

I think that if you need to do it again in the same situation you should either leave a tip or buy something, but as a one-off I can't imagine anybody begrudging you using the changing facilities. I also think it was very good of you to ask - many people would just have walked in and felt entitled to use it.

SunTrapped · 05/07/2017 09:52

I would try to avoid this.

But if no other loo nearby, how would Costa staff know you're not a paying customer? They will assume you're meeting someone or that you plan to get a drink after using the changing room.

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