AIBU to ask to use baby change if I'm not a customer?

[rugratowner]

If I wanted to use a baby changing room, and the NCT baby changing app suggested a local Costa. (Busy location in London lots of people rushing passed and didn't have time or money on this occasion)
AIBU to ask Costa to use their baby changing facilities if I am not actually buying anything from them?

(They allowed me in, but she made a small deal about it being 'just this once')

Perhaps I am being a little cheeky?

[Joolsy]

Personally I would but I'd rather find a larger place like a Wetherspoons or even somewhere with outside seating so it wouldn't be obvious that you're not a paying customer

[Bloodybridget]

There just aren't enough public loos around, and it's a big problem for lots of people. I'd like more places to allow non-customers to use their toilets - pubs, cafes etc . I'd be happy to put 50p in a collection box. You don't always want or need to stop for a drink.

[DappledThings]

I'm obviously cheeked than I realised then. Never bothered to buy anything in any kind of large chain or asked permission. Although I did pee in Costa once and DH insisted on buying a coffee he didn't want as he was embarrassed on my behalf!

[grannytomine]

Well it costs the business money, would you be happy about supplying water, electricity, soap etc for passing strangers? I wouldn't.

[DappledThings]

If I was a little independent place I would resent it hence I treat those differently. Big chains I just see as fair game

[rugratowner]

JayneAusten I would have preferred to do that then use dirty changing facilities. But it was central London, very busy lots of people on pavement (Costa on other hand only had 2 customers in)

[luckylucky24]

I would do it without a second thought. You aren't doing them out of business. If it was a regular occurrence, it may be irritating for them but as a one off I don't see the problem. I also use the facilities in supermarkets, Mothercare, John Lewis, McDonalds etc. No one has ever complained.

[EthelsDisco]

Why didn't you just buy something for a couple of quid? I wouldn't use the facilities somewhere without being a customer.

[Carley27]

OP has already stated she didn't have any money on her.

[EthelsDisco]

Oh sorry I missed that bit. Contactless card? nothing?

[RB68]

I figure I am enough of a customer at other times so just go and use and don't ask even. And that is for Loo never mind baby changing - its not like babies can wait. But again try and use public or dept stores. The trouble is there are fewer and fewer proper public loos and even fewer that are useable for changing a baby. My view is that they would be daft to turn you away as it creates a negative view of their company, but I also understand you can't have all and sundry using them as bathrooms to have a wash etc as well as a quick wee. I do have some issues that mean when I need the loo it needs to be fairly quick sometimes and waiting is not an option (no really) so I just get on with it and have never had an issue.

[ThanksForAllTheFish]

I'm on the fence a bit with this. I get why some shops need to discourage non customers using the toilets. I understand the costs of running the toilets are paid for out of the profits made from paying customers but I think it's a bit cruel to turn away someone who is desperate because they can't afford to buy anything.

Where I used to live there are no public toilets anywhere. I lived about 3/4 of a mile from the local shops - with a nice park between my house and the shops. The park used to have public toilets but the council closed them and sold the building.

The only toilets avalible (other than in pubs) where the one in costa or another small local coffee shop a further 1/2 a mile down the road from the costa. So if I was out and about I had no option but to go buy something I didn't really need, so I could use the loo. Not so much an issue for me as if I really couldn't afford to buy something, I could usually hold it until I got home, but once DD hit the toilet training stage it became a nightmare. At that age they generally have a two minute (or less) warning of I need to go NOW! Also with baby nappies sometimes you just need to change them ASAP. It's not fair on the baby to be stuck in a shitty nappy or, for that matter, other customers in shops to have to smell said shitty nappy for any length of time.

That said I did visit that particular costa quite regularly to buy coffee anyway and had done so for many years, so the staff where happy to let us use the loos / babychange without buying anything. Sometimes I would buy a takeaway coffee and be back again to take DD to the loo before said coffee was even finished.

I can see both sides of the argument. I do think the big issue is the overall lack of public toilets in some areas. I know the area I live now has some in the shopping centre but outwith that nothing. None of the local parks have public toilets - not even the very large country park that attracts loads of tourists due to the historical building on site. I know there is one toilet inside said historical building, but the entry fee is £15 per person (to see the building - you can't access toilet without paying) and I am not paying £30 just to get my child access a toilet. A bit sad really as it puts me off visiting these places.

[lanouvelleheloise]

I think the law should be changed so that loos in pubs and cafes are open for the public to use. The amount of older people who have serious issues leaving the house because of this, as well as the utility of it for young mums and anyone else who isn't well means it could really make a difference. I believe that some places have voluntary schemes with a sticker that can be put on the window to indicate that people can use the loo for free - it's a great idea. Most cafe owners in my part of the world have this (they are lovely community-focused places with great cake!).

[EthelsDisco]

'I get why some shops need to discourage non customers using the toilets. I understand the costs of running the toilets '

I think its just the one or 2 toilets available are for the customers who are actually there. There just aren't enough for anyone to use them. Yes I'd pop in to larger department stores loos, but small places like costa with probably only one cubicle, no.

[Notso]

(They allowed me in, but she made a small deal about it being 'just this once')

Then this is the answer, the staff obviously thought you were BU. Presumably in central London this wasn't the only option even though it was the nearest.

[grannytomine]

I live in the South West, our water costs a small fortune, out of season businesses struggle to survive. If you come down here and want businesses to be available you need to support them by spending money not costing them money.

Expecting businesses to provide free toilet facilities isn't reasonable.

[RiverTam]

You can ask.

They can say no.

Bring snippy (them, I mean) after the event is a bit pointless.

[60sname]

Every semi public toilet in London is overrun with tourists needing a wee, which is why they restrict them to customers.

However, it is currently 24 degrees and sunny in London so using a patch of grass doesn't sound too unreasonable!

[ThanksForAllTheFish]

EthelsDisco but that's the point there where no department stores or large supermarkets. Costa was the only big chain name on the high street (it had 3 cubicals in the ladies and a gents also). The smaller inde coffee shop had the one cubical and as a smaller shop I would feel obliged to buy something. I was a regular customer at Costa but couldn't always afford to buy another coffee 10 minutes after I just bought one (which I was still drinking and was still warm) as DD decided she was bursting 5 minutes after leaving the shop.

I could have took the bus to the shopping centre 3 miles down the road instead of shopping local, but if everyone done that then the small businesses would suffer. I liked to go to the butcher and the fruit and veg shop as well as the other small / local shops but the lack of toilet facilities was an issue. Not for me as such as I can hold it for a pretty decent length of time if I have to, but when you have a small and recently toilet trained child with you it was certainly a big problem. Also as lanouvelleheloise mentioned it is something that can put off older people from going out.

I wouldn't even mind if we had a public toilet that cost 30p or similar to use. I know a lot of train stations etc have these, but £2.50 for an unwanted drink just to take a 2 year old for a pee is a bit pricey.

[rugratowner]

I am definitely on the fence.
But in this situation it was a semi-emergency.

I was in a massive rush. Couldn't change baby on the train as the baby change was out of order and baby was really uncomfortable for ages already.

I didn't have any cash and to be honest I could have paid on my card, but that's a faff and needed to change him quickly as I stupidly didn't pack a spare change of clothes and was panicking it would leak!
(Also I had packed lunch, so buying a drink would have been a waste of money)

I'm in the fence as I don't think a baby should be left for long in a dirty nappy. I considered changing on the floor but cold concrete and lots of onlookers in busy London wouldn't have been nice for me or bubba.

[rugratowner]

Woops didn't finish!
On the other hand I do think it's best to pay for something before hand..... Although I wouldn't necessarily buy something in Debenhans to use their changing facilities?

[Me264]

I wouldn't. I'd use the baby change in a Debenhams, John Lewis, Boots, Mothercare etc without buying anything no problem, because it's quite normal to be in those shops just browsing or walking through and not buying anything. I wouldn't go into a cafe and not buy anything though, so wouldn't use the toilets there without doing so.

[Sirzy]

Surely you could have purchased something after the change instead?

[BlahBlahBlahEtc]

She didn't have any money Sirzy

[MommaGee]

Well you asked, they said yes, its a little cheeky but no harm done