Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

to think you don't talk names with people before the baby is born??

143 replies

PoppyPopcorn · 02/07/2017 16:51

SO many threads on here and other forums about people inlaws, parents or friends criticising names people have chosen for their baby - because they are openly discussing these names before the baby is born.

Why do people even HAVE these discussion? Common sense to keep the discussions between you and your other half, surely? Of course MIL is going to chip in that your chosen name is ridiculous, and say you should be calling him/her after some distant relative. Or someone in the family will have known someone else with that name and they were awful.

Just keep your gob shut until baby here, announce the name, nobody with an ounce of common sense would say anything. Job done.

OP posts:

BlahBlahBlahEtc · 02/07/2017 17:54

MrsEricBana

That reminds me of an episode of "Four in a Bed" I was watching where the host was called Candida.

Babyblues14 · 02/07/2017 18:01

I'm pregnant, have already picked name and tell people if they ask. I dont care what their opinion is, I'm not asking them for it, I'm just telling them what its going to be.
But I do think its ridiculous that couples let other people sway them from the name that they originally pick and end up changing it.
Stick up for yourself, its your child

AgentCooper · 02/07/2017 18:08

I'm 25 weeks and told my parents the name we've chosen for our wee boy because firstly they have been so incredibly supportive to me through a very anxious first pregnancy, and he's their first grandchild. Also, I trust them to keep it quiet.

Secondly because it's FIL's name and I wanted to be clear to my dad why we weren't using his name - his name is actually one of my all time favourites but, sadly, the most common nickname for it sounds really rude with our surname!

I've told a few friends too because I'm not that fussed about people knowing. DH isn't telling his family and that's fine by me.

luckylucky24 · 02/07/2017 18:15

I think you should be able to discuss this with family and friends without them being a dick about it! It is part of the excitement surely?
MIL didn't like the very ordinary name we chose for DS and even bought a football shirt with his surname on "in case we changed our minds". We assured her we were very much set on this and from the 20 week scan started using it.
Everyone else just said nice things. If they hadn't I would have stopped discussing it. I wasn't a fan of my friends chosen name but I didn't tell her because I am not rude or entitled enough to think it is any of my business!

BasketOfDeplorables · 02/07/2017 18:42

DP wrote some of the names we'd been talking about on the back of an envelope, which was a mistake, as PIL will look through any pile of papers when they come to stay. I hadn't expected anyone to sort through stuff in my kitchen so they found it and honoured us with their opinions. MIL then sent a list of alternatives. I thought it was such odd behaviour that it quite amused me, but I dont share their taste in anything really, so wasn't really bothered about what they thought, and just thought they'll get used to whatever we choose.

DP is a terrible liar, though, so would be very uncomfortable and squirmy about not just giving people the actual answer when they ask. Some people just hate that sort of thing.

HungerOfThePine · 02/07/2017 18:48

With my pfb I wasn't in any hurry to pick a name in fact it hadn't occurred to me to start thinking about it though What prompted me to pick a name and discuss it was my mil at the time wouldn't stop talking about one specific name that she liked, she never said outright that's what we should call the pfb but that's how she rolls with heavy hinting.

I got exdp to pick a name so that my bump would no longer be and that was that.. if people ask then tell them or dont no biggy. Opinions can be met with a blank stare

YellowCushions · 02/07/2017 18:53

Me and DH referred to DD between us two by her name, since I was 20 weeks pregnant. But we didn't tell anyone else. My friend announced her baby name on Instagram when she did her gender reveal at 20 weeks. Different strokes for different folks.

ethelfleda · 02/07/2017 19:58

Part of the not telling for me is also in case other people steal it. The name we have picked isn't common (but not unusual either) and id be worried if people told other people who told other people in case there ended up being loads of them in the same class

hippadoppaloppagorillapig · 02/07/2017 21:18

We never revealed our chosen names when discussing with others. We just gave a shortlist of other names and discussed those instead!

GnomeDePlume · 02/07/2017 22:02

YANBU

We knew what we would call each DC before they were born but didn't tell anyone. For us it was part of the announcement. 'This is our new son/daughter called X'. It was a fait accompli.

justilou · 02/07/2017 23:36

We called our firstborn Cletus the Foetus until she was born. People were relieved when we gave her her real name. When I was expecting B/G twins, my mother (who was nuts) was only interested in the boy. She told everyone she knew that we were calling him Jamie, despite us telling her unequivocally that we were not. She had towels and sheets monogrammed with it and gave them to us before the twins were born. We told her again that we had chosen a different name. When the twins were born and we announced their REAL names she kept saying "But what about the sheets? What about the towels?" as though it would change our minds...

My point is that regardless of when you tell people, it's your call. People are going to have opinions about the names you choose and not all will like them. Too bloody bad if they don't!

WineAndTiramisu · 02/07/2017 23:58

justilou - that's hilarious! I can't believe anyone would be that weird

Notknownatthisaddress · 03/07/2017 00:21

You could say THIS is going to be the name if it's a girl.

to think you don't talk names with people before the baby is born??

Notknownatthisaddress · 03/07/2017 00:21

Or if it's a boy

Notknownatthisaddress · 03/07/2017 00:23

... ...

Notknownatthisaddress · 03/07/2017 00:25

Double post sorry. Didn't think the second post had loaded the gif. Takes a minute to show.

Notknownatthisaddress · 03/07/2017 00:29

Because it's FIL's name and I wanted to be clear to my dad why we weren't using his name - his name is actually one of my all time favourites but, sadly, the most common nickname for it sounds really rude with our surname!

@agentcooper is your surname HUNT and your FIL called Mike. ???

CherriesInTheSnow · 03/07/2017 00:46

Meh.

I have told people my chosen name because I refer to him by name now. However, it doesn't affect me if someone says they don't like the name, and has no influence on my decision- so I feel confident enough to announce his name just as I would if he was already born.

I can tell some people think the name is a little unusual and when I said it was my favourite before we were definitely decided, a couple of people scoffed - but then I also wouldn't name my child the very standard sounding names that this person names theirs - so it's all down to personal preference.

YANBU though regarding people who share names and expect nobody to comment - there's always one dickhead who will be tactless enough to say they hate the name you've chosen!

notomatoes · 03/07/2017 05:51

We had a name picked out and DP really wanted to share with his family. I tried to talk him out of it but he just wanted to involve them. Cue MIL with pursed lips and screwed up face, DP insisting we had other names we were thinking of, actually we didn't like that name very much at all... I was so mad with him, not for sharing but for his immediate unblinking u-turn on a name we loved before his mother had even said anything.

And now I'm being bombarded with alternative names, none of which I like because me and MIL are very different people with different tastes which I thought was ok but now I'm expected to name my child to suit her??? ARGH!

Saiman · 03/07/2017 06:06

I didnt tell anyone with my first. But thats because i didnt want anyone to know the sex. I did with my second. I was far more relaxed about people knowing the sex. We pickes his namr at the 20 week scan.

But then i didnt care what people thought. The only comment i got was 'what if the scan is wrong and its a girl?' The name was easily changed to the female version. So not an issue.

Also I had a teacher at school whose name was Mick Hunt.....kept us entertained for years.

Seahawk80 · 03/07/2017 06:11

I think it's pretty personal. We don't know what we're having and have names picked out. DH has told a few people but I would rather only tell immediate family just because I personally would rather wait to tell everyone else the name so if people ask I just say we've got a few we like and then if they push I throw out a few of the "also ran" names that we didn't choose.

What was quite funny was that my mum said she doesn't like the girls name we chose - I told her she'll get over it. PIL were also clearly horrified by it but said "oh....lovely". At least my mum is honest! I think it's just because we had been talking about old lady type names and now like something modern and unusual. It won't put me off though, they'll get used to it!

TheWeatherGirl1 · 03/07/2017 06:27

I hadn't told anyone the name we've chosen until yesterday, in a supermarket queue, an old lady started chatting to me and asked me.
And I thought 'sod it', I'm going to tell this complete stranger that I'll never see again the name of my unborn child.
'Oh' she said, with a bemused expression and proceeded to pack her groceries.
Lesson learnt.

Bumdishcloths · 03/07/2017 07:14

The persistent badgering makes you give in, some people really don't know when to give up.

Amd724 · 03/07/2017 07:21

I'm 22 weeks, we've had her name picked out since the 17 week gender scan. If anyone asks, I tell them because their opinion isn't going to change the name we've chosen. But, I also don't really care what people think about my daughters name!

In case y'all care, her name will be Anastasia, but I've been calling her Ana for short lately.

Writerwannabe83 · 03/07/2017 07:25

My DS is due in 6 weeks and me and DH have chosen a name that we are about 90% sure we will use. I have told my sister but for everyone else who asks about names and I just tell them that we've no idea what to call the baby.

However, I have had one women jokingly say to me "As long as you don't call him 'X'!!!" with a "lol" for good measure and it made me feel like shit because 'X' IS the name we've decided upon. I think she's going to feel very awkward when we announce the name.....

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Swipe left for the next trending thread