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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think private ultrasounds shouldn't charge you full price if it's a miscarriage?

138 replies

DragonsandDungeons · 01/07/2017 10:42

I just paid £80 for someone to tell me my baby is most likely dead.

Given the majority of people do not experience this and that the price is so high anyway, AIBU to think charging someone after telling them their baby is dead is just cruel?!

OP posts:
Alexkate2468 · 01/07/2017 11:58

So very sorry for your loss. You aren't being unreasonable - your emotions will be all over and you're really hurting so to say youre unreasonable to be upset at anything at the minute would be unfair on you.

However, they're a business at the end of the day and sadly, this happens too often so I don't think they could run the business if they didn't charge.
I hope your baby is a fighter and they turn out to be wrong. I also hope you have support from people around you. Flowers

Tallulahoola · 01/07/2017 11:59

So sorry OP. They do have to charge everyone the same. But I'll never forget coming out of my scan, in floods of tears and utterly distraught after being told there was no heartbeat, and a totally emotionless receptionist saying "Ok, that's £120 please." Definitely agree they should take the money before you go in.

I went for a private scan because it was my first pregnancy and I had no idea EPUs existed. For pregnancies after that I still went for early 8 week scans but at the EPU because the private experience had put me off for life.

MusicForTheJiltedGeneration · 01/07/2017 11:59

Sorry, I must have misunderstood as I thought the baby has a heartbeat so there's still hope for the pregnancy. Sorry for your loss Sad

Original poster
DragonsandDungeons · 01/07/2017 11:59

Music It was with this one. They thought it might be ectopic because of early spotting so scanned me and saw very little. They were very blunt and abrupt with me which really upset me as I was really worried at the time

OP posts:
Alexkate2468 · 01/07/2017 11:59

Sorry, I meant to edit that first line to say I was so sorry that you were going through this... Not sorry for your loss. I'm hoping that they made a mistake x

Original poster
DragonsandDungeons · 01/07/2017 12:00

Music It does but it's slow. 10 days ago it was regular.

OP posts:
FizzyGreenWater · 01/07/2017 12:01

I'm so sorry.

This situation has never occurred to me but thinking of it, yes, it would be better for clinics to have a pay in advance policy maybe. Then if the worst happens you wouldn't have that awful moment.

I don't think offering a discount would be a good move either really. Some folk might find that equally upsetting. The only thing you could do in that situation and show even approaching the right level of empathy would be to simply not mention payment at all. But that's not possible I guess when they are running a business :(

bananafish81 · 01/07/2017 12:04

NHS provides perfectly adequate scanning services and support in event of pregnancy loss.

I found out my baby had died at the 10w scan for the Panorama test. NHS doesn't offer this.

My private health insurance covered an ERPC the same day. We found out the baby had died at 10am, I was in surgery at 6pm and home by 10pm. NHS would have made me wait a week before I would have been allowed surgical management as policy says 2 scans a week apart to confirm no fetal heartbeat.

Even though the baby measured 9+3 and we knew our dates as we knew when the embryo was transferred. So there was no chance of it being too early or a hb magically reappearing. I'd have had to walk around with my dead baby inside me waiting for surgery

NHS also won't let you do the tissue testing on the products of conception until you've had 3 miscarriages. If I hadn't paid to have the testing done we wouldn't have known that mine wasn't 'just bad luck'.

NHS wasn't interested in anything after my miscarriage as they said it was just bad luck (it wasn't)

NHS would have made me pay £20,000 for more rounds of IVF and more miscarriages before they'd have done any investigations at all

MusicForTheJiltedGeneration · 01/07/2017 12:05

@Dragons Please speak to PALS about it and make a complaint. I know some people in healthcare lack a bedside manner (and it's hard to fake) but you shouldn't have been made to feel like that.

GivePeasAGo · 01/07/2017 12:10

I'm so sorry for your loss. I found our my baby had died at my scan and it was a terrible shock on top of the heartache. I don't think Yabu to feel they should refund but equally they are a business so anbu either.

InvisibleKittenAttack · 01/07/2017 12:13

Sorry for your loss OP.

The NHS is amazing at many things, but treating you like you matter is something that doesn't often happen in maternity care, I also have had private scans in the past, I don't think they should discount for a miscarriage - you are paying for their time and equipment etc, that doesn't change with the type of news they give you - however agree paying in advance would be better in case of bad news or at least giving it as an option.

maggiethemagpie · 01/07/2017 12:21

When I went for a private scan I was told they always charge customers before the scan for this very reason.

I'm sorry for what you are going through, but don't think YABR to expect a refund. They have provided the service you paid for.

In your shoes i would not expect or think to ask for a refund/ no charge.

GloGirl · 01/07/2017 12:22

I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

Somehow offering 20% off for bad news seems more crass than charging a standard amount. I think suggesting they change their policy to payment on arrival is a good idea - so women can be allowed to process any news, good or bad without facing paperwork.

Sashkin · 01/07/2017 12:57

I had something similar happen - went for a Harmony test at 13 weeks (which included a dating scan) and found out my baby was dead. They waived the fee, and I think it's a bit mean that your place didn't. No, they weren't obliged to, but it would have been a kind gesture on their part.

MrsLupo · 01/07/2017 12:59

Well, I think YANBU, OP. I presume the profit margins on private scanning are healthy, and plenty of people want to scan for social rather than medical reasons, so the proportion of times they would have to say, 'It's OK, we don't make a charge in this situation' wouldn't imo affect the bottom line. But I'm a sap in business. I'd always rather do someone a favour than make a mean buck.

I am really sorry about your baby. Flowers

echt · 01/07/2017 13:03

I'll bite.

How is this different from someone going for a scan and finding out they've got cancer? Should they pay because they got a result?

If they turn not to have cancer should they not pay??

It's a business transaction.

PinkHeart5911 · 01/07/2017 13:07

Sorry for your situation 💐

Unfortunately though the scan place still has staff & overheads to pay and for some people being offered a discount becuase it's bad news would be even more upsetting

JustHappy3 · 01/07/2017 13:08

I'm so sorry about your baby dying. It's a horrible, emotional time - and easy to direct your anger and hurt in the wrong places sometime.
I didn't rtft but just to say, in case it's any small comfort, that you would have perhaps been in the best place to get this news. Not rushed and in more peacecul surroundings. NHS EPAUs often increase the trauma/upset.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 01/07/2017 13:12

I'll bite.

Why will you? Why did you decide that it was an appropriate intervention in a thread where the OP is going through such a horrendous time? Lots of other people have sensitively explained why they charge while also offering sympathy. Your analogy is a bit shit anyway - not many people are paying out of pocket for a scan looking for cancer - but I also just don't know why you felt the need to make it.

muddlefuck · 01/07/2017 13:13

yeh YABU

NotAnotherUserName5 · 01/07/2017 13:14

I'm so sorry. Sad

When this happened to me they refunded all the money.

Hope you are as ok as you can be in this situation.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 01/07/2017 13:14

I'm so sorry OP Flowers

When I've arranged private scans you have to pay in full at the time of booking which I think is a better option. However if you lose the baby prior to the scan, they will refund you. Unfortunately I found this out when I had an ectopic last year.

Take care of yourself Flowers

NotAnotherUserName5 · 01/07/2017 13:15

I didn't ask for a refund by the way. Didn't even think. Just saw they reversed the transactionon PayPal.

RiverTam · 01/07/2017 13:18

I'm sorry this is happening, OP.

At our hospital if you have concerns you can go to the drop in clinic at the early pregnancy unit for a scan. Is this not offered at all hospitals? Ours is a leader in fetal medicine do maybe we were just lucky to be able to get this in the NHS.

bananafish81 · 01/07/2017 13:18

I'm not sure they should be expected to refund as they must have to tell women they've miscarried all the time. It's not like it's not uncommon