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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think private ultrasounds shouldn't charge you full price if it's a miscarriage?

138 replies

DragonsandDungeons · 01/07/2017 10:42

I just paid £80 for someone to tell me my baby is most likely dead.

Given the majority of people do not experience this and that the price is so high anyway, AIBU to think charging someone after telling them their baby is dead is just cruel?!

OP posts:
Original poster
DragonsandDungeons · 01/07/2017 11:06

Hipster That's how I feel :( sorry it happened to you, and to others. It's horrible

OP posts:
WinnieTheMe · 01/07/2017 11:06

I'm so sorry this is happening. It's the horror of private healthcare. They charge whatever the outcome. I guess because their nurses need paid whatever the outcome too.

TippyTinkleTrousers · 01/07/2017 11:14

They didn't actually allow me to pay the full amount so I wonder if it's possible at all.

If it isn't then it should be for all the reasons mentioned.

Justanothernameonthepage · 01/07/2017 11:16

I am so sorry for your loss.
I lost my

bananafish81 · 01/07/2017 11:18

So sorry. I had the same

I tried to pay on my way out but they told me to go home, and sent me the invoice later

LisaSimpsonsbff · 01/07/2017 11:26

I really agree with the idea that it would be better to have to pay before you go in rather than after. When I had similar it was at EPU not private, but having to wait for what felt like forever (I'm sure it was actually quite quick - they were generally really good and I was so grateful for their kind care) while they arranged blood tests felt like torture - I just wanted to get to the car where I could cry with no one but my husband watching.

DistanceCall · 01/07/2017 11:26

I'm very sorry about your MC. But the cost of an ultrasound is the same for the company, regardless of whether the foetus is alive or not. YABU.

khajiit13 · 01/07/2017 11:26

Oh OP. I think posting before you go in would be better practice.

Sorry OP

Crumbs1 · 01/07/2017 11:27

The answer is not to use private scanning companies and they would go out of business. NHS provides perfectly adequate scanning services and support in event of pregnancy loss.

Original poster
DragonsandDungeons · 01/07/2017 11:28

Crumbs I had a horrible NHS scan experience which is why I used them. Very inconsiderate staff who seemed to think I was being a bother.

OP posts:
LisaSimpsonsbff · 01/07/2017 11:34

NHS provides perfectly adequate scanning services and support in event of pregnancy loss.

This is true from a medical point of view, but I think there are many emotional reasons why women opt for a private scan. For instance, I can see why a woman with a previous mmc discovered at the 12 week scan would feel so anxious that she'd want an earlier scan - but most EPUs wouldn't see her. That might be a reasonable decision given limited resources, but I can see why she'd opt for a private scan.

I've never had one, by the way - my first two miscarriages were too early to have a scan, and my third one I was seen by the EPU. But I've seen a lot of other women on the miscarriage threads who've had them for reasons that are hard to argue with.

YoshimiBTPR · 01/07/2017 11:38

So sorry OP. What a difficult time for you. I hope you have some support.

Original poster
DragonsandDungeons · 01/07/2017 11:39

We have lots of support. My family and my partners are fantastic. My mom experienced two failed IVF cycles so has some understanding of what this feels like.

OP posts:
Original poster
DragonsandDungeons · 01/07/2017 11:41

Partners family* we aren't polygamous Blush

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 01/07/2017 11:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissHavishamsleftdaffodil · 01/07/2017 11:45

I'm so sorry OP, I've been there. The appointment and scan do cost the same to do whatever they see on the screen to do it and you're paying for them to look. It's not fair to ask them to take a loss because what they see isn't good news: those staff still need paying.

Having said that, it is unreal and disturbing to then do a business transaction when you've just had utterly devastating news, and I found that very painful too. YABU but so very understandably. Again so sorry Flowers

Wholovesorangesoda · 01/07/2017 11:46

So sorry to gear of your loss. I completely understand why you feel the way you do. I also see why they would charge you, but am surprised by how little empathy some replies on here seem to have! Please take care of yourself, i hope they have just made a mistake x

DrunkUnicorn · 01/07/2017 11:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 01/07/2017 11:50

I'm so very sorry. I've been there, six times. (Not private scanning but mc).

But they can't not charge. I think you know that really. It just seems brutal right now.

Cocklodger · 01/07/2017 11:51

Sorry for your loss op.
Flowers
I know its not your top priority but the service is what it is, you did receive the service and medical staff,admin, the building etc still need to be paid for.
I have every sympathy for your loss and have been there myself but tbh I'd have been more offended by a discount or freebie at that point. Its a hard one to get right as it is such a difficult time for you
Flowers

JaneEyre70 · 01/07/2017 11:52

You're paying for the staff, the equipment, lighting, insurance etc whatever news you are given. I'm really sorry you've had bad news, though. I had a very abrupt sonographer tell me that my son had been stillborn - she'd gone home and had been called back to the hospital, and clearly I'd ruined her plans for the evening by letting my baby die. I've never forgotten her attitude and the way she just looked at me and said "yes your baby is dead". A little compassion can go a long way sometimes.

w12newmum · 01/07/2017 11:53

So sorry for your news. I am also surprised by the lack of empathy. I can understand still being charged but it's things like this that make me so grateful for our NHS.

Yogagirl123 · 01/07/2017 11:54

So sorry OP you must feel awful. Unfortunately, these are businesses, I can understand how you feel, but it's the service that you are paying for, however they may feel by your very sad news. I was in shock and upset when I received a medical diagnosis a few years back, but I still had to pay for my scans, unfortunately paying privately for scans does not always lead to good news, but it does get you an answer quickly. Take care of yourself.

MusicForTheJiltedGeneration · 01/07/2017 11:55

Crumbs I had a horrible NHS scan experience which is why I used them. Very inconsiderate staff who seemed to think I was being a bother.

I assume that was with a previous pregnancy if you're only 8 weeks. Sorry you had that experience, but the likelihood is that you would have had different staff for your next scan. You can complain via PALS if it upset you to the point you didn't want to go back again.

I agree that the private scan should have been paid for before, not after, your scan. Thinking that you shouldn't have been charged full price is a bit ridiculous though for all the reasons previously stated.

I hope your fears/worries are proven wrong and you have a happy and healthy pregnancy Flowers

Original poster
DragonsandDungeons · 01/07/2017 11:57

Thanks everyone. We are hoping it's a mistake but expecting it not to be.

I feel horrendously sick still which is just adding insult :(

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