To wonder why people seem to have a problem with my 'lazy' lifestyle?

[Bumpandkind]

My dp and I both work part time. We don't own but happily rent a nice house. We have a son 4 why goes to school everyday of the week. We don't rely on anyone for money and have just enough for rent, food and a few treats. We can't for example afford a foreign holiday but we like caravan and camping holidays in the uk.
We can't really afford much new stuff but are happy with what we've got and can afford toys for birthdays and Christmas etc.

My days off look like this:
Get up at 5 and play with ds. He is awaiting a diagnosis of high functioning ASD and everyday starts at 5 and its full on play time till he goes to school. The chances of him playing alone or watching tv are zero so it's full on for a while.

I go back to bed after dp takes him to school and surface about 10-11ish

I then potter and do house work, go for an hour or twos walk and just enjoy myself. Ds comes home and it's the usual routine that most parent have in the evening.

The same goes for dp. He works about 4 shifts a week and when off does gardening, cooking and sleeping.
People often make comments that if we worked more we could have so much more but we're happy as we are. The same goes for more children. Ds is a star but as most parent of children with ASD, life can be hectic and unpredictable and we are happy with just the one.

People constantly have to let me know how busy their lives are and it makes me feel a bit guilty that mine isn't.

TrollMummy

Yes PT is lovely.

Today I am having a supermarket shop delivered, a gym class, going to the woods to take some photographs, then cook dinner,

It's a hard life.

Have you read "how to be free" by Tom hodgkinson? Would recommend it for taking away any guilty feelings :)

I've read it. Certainly wouldn't change my feelings on the whole benefits issue.

I agree OhTheRoses. I'm coming on the other side of it too, when I'll be able to enjoy the investments I made instead of having it easy and when I do, I won't want to hear any of those who made the decision to take it easy moan about how lucky I am and hard done by they are.

I'll probably be seen as unkind but I won't care, it will be my turn to have it good and at least I won't rely on their taxes to do so, so will be able to do so with head hold up high.

Sounds great but I'd worry too much. I want financial security - not to need to worry about money. I'm very fortunagr but then I work hard in a high pressure job for that security. If DH were to die/not be able to work we'd all be fine.

I think your life sounds very happy, and perfect as it is. I am actually quite envious! I would go insane if I tried to go to bed at 10am, and would find the pottering about difficult too (would be bored, and end up inventing worries / problems to have something to focus on). I'm on maternity leave at the moment and regret that I can't be more zen, and wander peacefully through the long unstructured days. Instead I find myself inventing / devising a lot of essentially pointless activities to keep myself stimulated. We are all different. I work very hard normally and will have rewards from that in the long term (assuming central London property prices don't keep on going down...) but also so many missed moments of equanimity.

I've just ordered that book ''how to be free'' a second hand copy for 1p!

I definitely spent more when I was working full time. Takeaways, I gave my laundry to laundrette, lunches, coffees....... spent more, such a meagre wage anyway and I'd no free time. Awful.

I have no problem with anyone choosing to work part time or not working at all a lifestyle choice as long as this is not funded by the taxpayer. I work PT because it means less childcare costs but DH works FT and combined we can afford this. However if DH went PT and I worked less then maybe we could have our income subsidised by tax credits and take it easy, have more time to ourselves and go for walks

I'm with trollmummy. This is not how tax credits should be manipulated.

I agree with trollmummy

It sounds lovely. Time is more important than money. Good for you for realising that.

Time is much more important than money when that time is self financed. I think it's wrong to take tax credits and use them to minimise personal contributions to society whilst maximising self interest.

I find time to be more important than money myself, beyond the point where we are able to live a modest lifestyle comfortably, but I don't think you can generalise. Some people who have the choice (and not ev everyone does) would rather have the cash to buy more things, and less/no free time. I'd hate that, but they're not wrong, are they? It's personal preference.

wankyou are u my DH!?

I agree wankyoufor but not when a laid back lifestyle is being funded by the taxpayer. If the op needs her income topped up by tax credits a d if she is able to and if there is work available she and:or her partner should be earning the shortfall rather than relying on other working people to fund it.

I suspect I probably am not butthewasstillhungry. Sadly!

Ohtheroses in this instance, people are making a lot of assumptions. It's refreshing to see you say 'if there is work available' because obviously that's not necessarily the case, but most people have proceeded as though it is.

Anyway I understand why people get upset about this, given that our dominant cultural narrative is very much more work=more contributing, but that isn't always the case. I think it would benefit people to interrogate that assumption a bit more, the idea that we need and benefit from the wage labour of all our adult members. That said, while I personally don't object to a carer practicing self-care, which is what this is, I'd advise anyone to think carefully about choosing to be reliant on tax credits. I have my doubts as to whether UC conditionality is ever going to work, and nor is it a viable or sensible use of resources, but that's not to say it could never affect OP and her family.