To wonder why people seem to have a problem with my 'lazy' lifestyle?

[Bumpandkind]

My dp and I both work part time. We don't own but happily rent a nice house. We have a son 4 why goes to school everyday of the week. We don't rely on anyone for money and have just enough for rent, food and a few treats. We can't for example afford a foreign holiday but we like caravan and camping holidays in the uk.
We can't really afford much new stuff but are happy with what we've got and can afford toys for birthdays and Christmas etc.

My days off look like this:
Get up at 5 and play with ds. He is awaiting a diagnosis of high functioning ASD and everyday starts at 5 and its full on play time till he goes to school. The chances of him playing alone or watching tv are zero so it's full on for a while.

I go back to bed after dp takes him to school and surface about 10-11ish

I then potter and do house work, go for an hour or twos walk and just enjoy myself. Ds comes home and it's the usual routine that most parent have in the evening.

The same goes for dp. He works about 4 shifts a week and when off does gardening, cooking and sleeping.
People often make comments that if we worked more we could have so much more but we're happy as we are. The same goes for more children. Ds is a star but as most parent of children with ASD, life can be hectic and unpredictable and we are happy with just the one.

People constantly have to let me know how busy their lives are and it makes me feel a bit guilty that mine isn't.

As others, it's the attitude that is frustrating. You say in your OP that you don't rely on anyone for money, but clearly this is totally untrue if you do rely on tax credits.

Is it a case that like many people relying on benefits to support their lifestyle, you consider that tax credits is not money from others, but somehow a pot that comes from thin air and don't appreciate that the only way you are able to benefit from it is the fact that other families, some very much like yours, are filling that pot?

You've chosen that life and it works for you, which is fine, but don't make out that you don't need to rely on others to be able to do so.

I admire your set up. A partnership both working part-time.

People should be careful that by chasing ''success'' they don't end up with less.

I want a part-time job and when I get one I will be proud (not smug) no grateful quite openly grateful for a part-time job. I will not apologise for working part-time like I did the last time I had a part-time job.

cosmo- I wouldn't work full time unless I had to,

Part time is perfect. Leaves lots of me time and have an organised stress free home.

I can't wait for the balance!

OP you are "working hard" at parenting. You must be knackered on the days you work with a rise at 5am. You are young and so is your little boy and there will be time in the future to pull out all the stops if you have to accumulate more for security. Life by its very nature is insecure and anything could happen to any of us whether we have a healthy bank balance or not.
It's nice to come across a couple who are content with their lives and who are working together to give their DS a good start in life
Good luck

OJZJ +1, yy

Many if my friends have uber busy lives. I don't. That's my choice. I choose to work part time. I thus have less money. That's my choice. I choose to do few activities. That's my choice. Health wise, I need down time.

Sometimes these things are not choices. They are what has to be. But other times, and certain things are a choice. So don't need to be apologised for.

If it suits you both then that's fine. There is an ethic in the UK of being busy all the time or you are somehow lazy, not fulfilling your potential etc.. It's crazy imo. A child potentially with ASD and a part-time job is hard enough work. If you can afford to be part-time then why not. Try hard not to get sucked into other peoples' ideas about how you should live your life.

I'm sure many people would like to lead a less intense working life. And if you can then that's bloody great. Try to enjoy your lie-ins. You don't have to justify how you live your life to anyone.

Im a single parent to 2 children, one with a mild ASD but i worked ft for a while, to win society's forgiveness I think. So futile.

I think your lifestyle sounds lovely, and good for your child. Can't decide whether I am a bit jealous or not - on balance I think not, i really enjoy my (demanding, long hours) job, after years of being broke I enjoy not worrying about money, and I suppose I thrive on adrenaline. But it does sound lovely and I don't think you have to justify yourself (although as a single parent by choice, I also recognise that feeling).

I am mindful that I might look back in years to come and wish I'd slowed down more while my child is still young. I hope I won't have those regrets. But I really don't think you will have regrets about how you prioritised during this time.

I've only read your op but that sounds lovely. Time each to yourselves, plenty of time with your son and together and also time to be with other adults. It honestly sounds idyllic.

Interesting to read the thread about the ladies who still have to work FT in their 60s because they can't afford to retire and are exhausted with little to enjoy for it.

Indeed, it's all about choices. Some invest in their future, some in their present. All I can say to those opting for an easier life when they are young, remember this choice when you're in your 60s because you might wish then to have made more money to allow you to work PT them or retire early.

Yes, the biggest issue for the 60+ woman working is they still have mortgages to pay for as they took them on late in life.

But if they were renting they'd still have to pay that though? Unless housing benefit paid for it.

It's fine providing you don't do what my SIL does.

"My dc don't have the opportunities yours do"
"My DC have only been on an aeroplane once"
"I can't go to x with you, I haven't got the right clothes"
"We haven't got enough space"
"I don't iron, keep on top of the housework, etc."
"They don't get much for Christmas"

One day I will tell her that she and her partner need to work more than 2/3 days a week and to stop moaning. Thank God they live on a different Continent!

To be quite honest swing, I think many of us are of the generation where we're not going to be getting pension enough to live on in our 60s regardless of how hard we work now, and how much we pay in. I'm in my early 30s. The population pyramid simply doesn't add up.

I'm in my late 30s I worked ft, invested in my future by sacrificing the fun and the easy life, and will probably have some kind of guaranteed income at 60. We all make choices. You choose to have that relaxed life now, I want it when I'm old and grey lol.

What guaranteed income is this? I am guessing something other than pensions if you're under 40- property?

Perhaps DH & I should look into going PT and let the taxpayer pick up the slack

Gardening, walks and snoozing sounds lovely, don't know why I bother going to work

@WankYouForTheMusic - my money's in everything - property, guaranteed income bonds, cash, investments, and pensions. I will definitely have a guaranteed income even if some of these underperform.

Lovelybath - yes, that's the point, seems to be the woman who can ease off when they are older are the ones who've already paid off their mortgage.

Thanks for clarification groupie. I thought it must be something other/more than pensions, given your age.

Thanks for clarification groupie. I thought it must be something other/more than pensions, given your age.

A bit sharp there Troll I'm hoping I've missed the sarcasm