To believe that this family of 8 has one bath towel?

[Zoflorabore]

Hi, my dd goes to primary school with a little girl who's family are travellers but now settled in a house. Her dh apparently mistreats her and has got substance issues.

They were also at nursery together and the mum has told me her whole life story and basically started asking for my dd's hand me downs.
I had no problem with this, my dd is bigger and I could tell she was in desperate need.

For the last few years I have continued to pass on clothes/coats/shoes etc plus school uniform and anything that I think her dd would like such as dress up outfits and hair accessories, my dd has a lot of things and I am grateful for that.

Several times the mum has asked me for food, money and even medication as she has similar pain issues to me, i would not give her my medication and helped her several times with food and money.

There have been people locally who say that she asks a lot of people for stuff, she has 6 kids and is pg again and said she has nothing for new baby due v soon.

Last year after the latest baby she said that she can't have any more children

This morning at school she said the usual that they have no money etc and that she needs xyz for new baby and then asked me if I could give her a bath towel as she only has 1 in the house for 8 people:

I am sympathetic to her but also she has told me that her dh gets dla ( he faked it apparently) and she gets all of the benefits she's entitled to.

This is not a benefits bashing btw, we claim some too. I just don't know what to believe any more and feel sorry for the children.
They look so uncared for and the little girl in my dd's class looks pitiful it's really sad.

She should be entitled to food vouchers from her midwife or GP. I think she's asking the OP because it won't attract the attention of outside agencies. The traveller community are very private & reserved so won't want agencies prying in their business. If her children are neglected & hungry then she'll be scared that they may be taken into care etc.

Have to say travelling families are rarely filthy. The girls are brought up to spend every waking moment cleaning the trailer and women usually pride themselves on the cleanliness of their home. Many won't even do the washing up inside because it's considered dirty.

i think people are generalising about Traveller families a bit.
This one doesnt appear to have pride

Those of you who are saying that this woman is irresponsible to have more children and that what she needs is condoms, did you miss the part of the OP about her husband being abusive?

HOW DO YOU PUT A CONDOM ON THE COCK OF AN ABUSIVE HUSBAND?

What reason do we have to believe that this woman has any input as to the family's reproductive choices?

corythatwas The Pill.

WhatToDo, that presupposes that she can get to a doctor and keep the pill hidden without her husband finding out. It presupposes that her husband will not subject to her abuse if she seems unable to get pregnant. It presupposes that she has not internalised the message of her surrounding culture that it is her job to give her husband what he wants.

Why are we laying all this on the wife and not the husband? If anyone is irresponsible, why is it her and not him?

Well the op is certainly not responsible for her

And let's remember many travellers are Catholic and contraception is against religious beliefs - more Racism, I'm afraid.

I'm horrified at how the fact that this woman is a Traveller seems to have caused posters here to victim blame. If it wasn't mentioned in the OP I'm sure lots of responses would have been more empathetic towards a woman who is in an abusive situation.

Some of the traveller/gypsy comments here! The worst have been deleted thank goodness.