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AIBU?

To ask why parents 'hate' wraparound care?

120 replies

TrueLove83 · 28/06/2017 17:20

I'm seeking to go back to work and looking into wraparound care (WC).

A couple of parents have said they hate sending their children to wraparound care?

Where has this hatred come from? It's certainly not the quality of WC offered as our school is oversubscribed and the kids rave about it - those kids that don't go (e.g. Mine at the moment don't go) are desperate to go because their friends go and say it's brilliant.

So is the hatred from the guilt a parent feels as being unable to collect their child everyday? I would be looking at WC for two days and I won't feel guilty because hopefully I'm working and making a living!

Apart from grandparents (who have not responded to my requests to ask if they can pick up one day) what is it people do? Childminder are an option?

I'm just fed up of hearing people say I hate WC I won't send my kids to WC

AIBU I don't understand

OP posts:
Ifitquackslikeaduck · 28/06/2017 17:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsPorth · 28/06/2017 18:03

I suppose that for under 8s, it's considered a long, draining day. Not sure though. I haven't heard any comments about it, although some of my full-time friends favour nannies over clubs/childminders because they're more flexible.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 28/06/2017 18:04

I didn't hate it. I sent DS in the morning and afternoon and he loved it. It's a godsend for those of us working long hours outside the city in which we live.

Butterymuffin · 28/06/2017 18:06

It's guilt. Plus there seems to be a belief among some people (you see examples of it on here) that childcare should be done by family, and anything else is somehow lower in quality than you should accept for your kids. Those of us without family available have to take a different view.

StatisticallyChallenged · 28/06/2017 18:06

There's nothing wrong with good wraparound care, but there are some people who are just opposed to externally provided childcare in general - just like the "I'd never send my child to nursery" brigade you run in to when they're a baby, there's a "no after school care" bunch too.

It's not the right thing for every child but IME most are able to cope with it just fine.

ThisBabyIsAnOctopus · 28/06/2017 18:08

I would love some wraparound care but there's not been any available to us. Ive never heard of anyone saying they hate it? We're desperate for some!!

Cirandeira · 28/06/2017 18:09

Probably a superiority thing. Anyone banging on that they 'hate' childcare probably hates the concept, not the specific provider. And frankly they are zero fun to talk to.

If they 'hated' it so much they'd make other arrangements (work less, work nights, use family, find dodgy babysitter on Craigslist, let them run feral) but ultimately, they have to/want to work and childcare allows them to do that. Why rant and say you 'hate' something you benefit from? Points scoring. Saying 'the right' thing you think your audience wants to hear in an effort to seem worthy.

CwtchMeQuick · 28/06/2017 18:09

I sent DS for one term but felt guilty about him having such a long day and he was exhausted. Now have a lovely childminder who he goes to for slightly longer hours but he's much happier there and she's very flexible so will work around my shifts Smile I think it's about finding the childcare that works for you. Right now this works for us, but in a year or two I might put him back in school club, who knows!

AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 28/06/2017 18:10

I'm just fed up of hearing people say I hate WC I won't send my kids to WC

What the hell does it have to do with you if they hate or love a type of childcare? How does it impact on your life or choices in anyway?

Stop bitching about other peoples feelings and choices and look to your own.

OdinsLoveChild · 28/06/2017 18:10

Its crap at our school. Its just the school hall with a box of toys and a few books chucked in. The kids get toast and a drink included nothing else. Its dull as ditch water. I get charged the grand sum of £10.50 per hour that I use it too. Sad Its a rural village with no childminders, no bus, no alternative care. They have a monopoly on it and they charge more than anywhere else for miles around and offer less than anywhere else. They call it wind down time. Hmm

It's a very long day for small children too. In school for 7.30am and some aren't collected until 6pm. When all your friends are going home at 3pm its miserable for those kids using the service.

SparklyLeprechaun · 28/06/2017 18:10

If they hate it then they are free to do whatever they want with their kids. Some of us don't hate it and even if we did we'd have no choice anyway. So ignore and do whatever suits you.

luckylucky24 · 28/06/2017 18:13

I have never heard this said but I always feel guilty about long days and also the cost is frustrating.

Mumzypopz · 28/06/2017 18:14

Never really heard of the phrase wraparound care....is this where a child goes to childcare before and after school? Personally don't see anything wrong with it and isn't that what most working parents do?

Greggers2017 · 28/06/2017 18:16

My older children go every morning and every evening. They love there's. They are 10, 9 and 8 and love it

Fluffyears · 28/06/2017 18:17

Unless you have other options then it is necessary. I worked with an utter tube of a woman who claimed her elderly father was going to look after her twins Confused. As she 'wasn't going to farm them out to strangers'. Her father walked with a simmer and was in no state to take on 2 infants. She got her arse handed to her by the parents who did have to use formal childcare due to no other option.

Butterymuffin · 28/06/2017 18:17

£10.50 per hour?? I can see why you're not overjoyed at that Odin. Can you start a rival offering or get a friend to?

Mumzypopz · 28/06/2017 18:17

Perhaps those who say they hate it, either can't get a job so as they would need it, or can't afford it?

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 28/06/2017 18:20

It's only in MN or similar websites I've heard the phrase, usually from people who don't want to work.

Parents who use it are usually grateful the facility exists so they know their chidren are safe and looked after whist they work to provide for them.

Jenijena · 28/06/2017 18:21

I don't like the lumpiness of the day, it means three different venues for DS (who loves it btw). Contrast with nursery - equally long days, but all in one place.

But mostly guilt. Always the guilt.

OdinsLoveChild · 28/06/2017 18:21

Butterymuffin someone tried to start up last year but didn't have enough interest to be worth her while. Its shocking how much they charge. On NMW thats a whole 8 hours salary gone on childcare that lasts 3 hours.

Xmasbaby11 · 28/06/2017 18:21

Without wraparound care you'd probably need 1 parent either at home or working very short hours. That's not affordable or desirable for a lot of parents especially considering how long children need childcare for.

Dh works ft and I work 3 days. We both work roughly 9 to 5 so normal hours. On my days off I do the school run, the other 3 days my dd is with a cm 8 to 5.30. She is 5yo and is still full of energy in the evening so I don't believe it's a long day at all!

I do know a few people who work school hours to do school runs but they have generally taken a role that's a demotion and or pay cut.

Josieannathe2nd · 28/06/2017 18:22

I think partly it's being the child watching everyone else go home & having to stay on. I don't think some days of wraparound is a problem but for the kids who are there 7.30-6pm every day you can tell as in Foundation- year 2 they are the exhausted looking ones. It's far more full in mixing with 30-40 kids of different ages then chilling in a home with 4 other children like at a childminders. I think they enjoy it and are well looked after but it makes a very intense and long day for the child.

Josieannathe2nd · 28/06/2017 18:22

I say this as someone happy to use wraparound a couple of days a week and lucky to have swell organised wraparound with fantastic staff.

catkind · 28/06/2017 18:30

I like that I don't have to use it as the one attached to our school caters for several schools, is huge and rather chaotic. That's partly just about my kids - DS doesn't like crowds and DD is only in Reception so I think it'd be a bit much for them. Also DC like to do after-school activities and play dates, which would be harder to facilitate if I couldn't pick up. The after school slots fill up fast.

We're lucky that we have the choice. Certainly nothing to feel guilty about, specially if you have a great after school club on offer.

JassyRadlett · 28/06/2017 18:30

DS1 was at nursery 8.30-5.30 from 11 months and at the end of Reception is probably less tired after after school club than from nursery - it's a lot less full on!

Ours separates the R-2 kids from the bigger ones for the first hour, and they have lots of low-key/chilling out activities available as well as running around like maniacs.

It's been a godsend for DS. He started school very shy and reserved, and is now brilliantly settled and much more confident. Having his 'big kid friends' from club who wave to him in the playground etc confers massive social capital. Grin Ours is also run by TAs which means he's known well by quite a few adults right across the school, too, which I really value.

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