To ask why parents 'hate' wraparound care?

[TrueLove83]

I'm seeking to go back to work and looking into wraparound care (WC).

A couple of parents have said they hate sending their children to wraparound care?

Where has this hatred come from? It's certainly not the quality of WC offered as our school is oversubscribed and the kids rave about it - those kids that don't go (e.g. Mine at the moment don't go) are desperate to go because their friends go and say it's brilliant.

So is the hatred from the guilt a parent feels as being unable to collect their child everyday? I would be looking at WC for two days and I won't feel guilty because hopefully I'm working and making a living!

Apart from grandparents (who have not responded to my requests to ask if they can pick up one day) what is it people do? Childminder are an option?

I'm just fed up of hearing people say I hate WC I won't send my kids to WC

AIBU I don't understand

Ditch the guilt, yo - my ds whined and whined about going to wraparound care. When his sister was born I changed my work patterns and now he whines and whines about missing out on breakfast club and afterschool club. There is no pleasing them.

I imagine you'd have negative feelings if
a) you didn't particularly enjoy your job,
b) the care provider was a bit crap,
c) your child was unhappy about going and
d) it was expensive. In the absence of those factors, no qualms whatsoever.

I used it for mine for a while and had all of these problems ^

This is the reason I don't use it any longer and now work a flexible, rewarding job that pays half what I was paid when I had a career.

For me the compromise was worth it, but for others who don't have ^ those problems it would probably have been made for me to take a pay cut.

I hate how much it costs me!!

I haven't heard anyone I know saying that they hate WC.
I have heard people saying that they hate being put in a position where they have no choice but to use WC...but circumstances mean they have little option.

I have used breakfast club for years at our school, it works well and I have been able to get to work on time.

From September I will be on a 3-year full time study course and mine will be at breakfast club from 7.45am and at after school club until 6pm every day. I'm dreading it, I'd love to find a childminder who would have them from that early, take and collect them from school and could also feed them as I'm still going to have to cook for them after an 11 hour day.
Needs must I'm afraid.

I have never heard anybody say that. You use it when you need it, and don't use it when you don't, surely? Love or hate doesn't come into it.

It's the long days.

I feel guilt because I have to admit I didn't like childcare as a kid myself. I just wanted to be at home. But I survived!

It's the long days, having said that, DS2 went to a childminder from 8:30 till 5:30 5 days a week since he was 1 and loved it (as did DS2 who I dropped at school, but was picked up by the childminder) - she fed them good, solid food (DS1 is a traditionalist when it comes to food), and banana and custard for pudding (apparently my efforts have never been quite right in that area!)

I just wish that existed where I live now - UK childminders are awesome.

Yabu, I don't know anyone who does. I guess mine only go a couple of times a week but they are usually when I get there to pick them up as they are playing happily.

I'm a SAHM. My eldest begs me everyday to be allowed to go to after school club. On the few occasions I've sent him to breakfast club for appts etc, he has absolutely loved it! We don't hate WC at all!

I don't know OP

I've never had a parent say to me that they hate WC, but then again most of the parents I know have their children in nursery/childminder or a nanny and both parents are working.

Who knows? maybe it's a guilt thing or wanting to be a stay at home parent but they can't afford to?

My LO is 3 and goes to nursery- I'm certain we will arranging some WC once they are in school. I have no feelings either way about it- except that hoping that LO enjoys it!

I think people hate having to use it because it's even close to "home from home" that a good childminder or a nanny would provide. It's more institutionalised care after a full day of school and breakfast club.

It's a necessary evil for many working parent unfortunately.

I'm just fed up of hearing people say I hate WC I won't send my kids to WC

Why are you fed up of it? Surely it doesn't affect you?

Kids are individuals. Some love it, some hate it and some just have to get used to it because there's no other choice.

Just do what's right for you and yours, and pay no mind to other people's feelings.

Wraparound care is great! In our school it is staffed by a lot of teaching assistants. They help my daughter with homework and do reading with her. They also offer lots of activities such as football, ping pong, arts and craft.... Much prefer this to the childminder option frankly.

We hated it because it was boring and chaotic. The children hated being there and I resented paying for something that was run by lazy staff who didn't particularly want to be there either. But it was a necessary evil until I managed to make alternative arrangements. I don't dislike the concept though and had the children enjoyed it or benefitted from it in some way, then I would have been happy with the arrangement. I don't hate all WC on principle though.

Society is quick to complain about "scroungers" who do not work, but similarly quick to beat working women over the heads about childcare. But until we get timeturners, there we go! And if you have free childcare from relatives, then that is another stick to beat you with. Damned whatever you do.

As said previously depends on the child, the wrap around care and who you are speaking to.

Mine hated the Child minder but loved nursery.
Now she goes to a big school with a large and very good after school/holiday club provision. Lots of her friends go and she has a great time when there. Would she prefer to be at home with me? Yes but that's not an option and that doesn't mean that she hates it either.

DD isn't and has never been "exhausted" after a long day, or at least not since she was a toddler.

Don't let others prejudices or life choices affect yours. Have the confidence to do what is right for you and yours.

Surely it's the same as most things - some will love it, some will hate it, some won't care either way and some will be negative but suck it up regardless.

I hated being in childcare as a child. Well, as an older child. I didn't mind it when I was younger when it was nursery and everyone was doing the same thing, but I really resented it from the age of about 6/7 when all my friends were going home after school, and I was stuck there until 6pm with people I didn't really like or have anything to do with.

But, I know other kids who love childcare, love being around other children, make friends easily and would rather be in after-school care than at home. Like everything, it depends on the child and parents make their decisions based on what they can afford and what their children need/want/like, when possible.

I don't see why it bothers you that other people don't like after-school care? They're not you and they're not living your life.

Sorry, I have probably been one of the people to say 'I hate having to send my kids to after school club'. It's not that I'm not grateful for it (would be stuck without it!) just that I wish I was rich enough to be able to drop my children off and pick them up from school! They deserve their mummy to be there for them :) I want to be there for them. If I could be a stay at home mum I would be! I used to get looked after, after school by friends, neighbours etc... I've also worked in a professional capacity with lots of adults who were abused by childminders/babysitters etc ... (not saying this is common! not trying to alarm!!! Just highlighting the experiences I've heard!) so I DO NOT want my kids to b looked after by anyone except me and my DH after school!! However, needs must! I just try to make sure the after school provision is safe, my children know I love them and would be there if I could, and when I am with them, I shower them with love ❤️

i hate it - because
a) it's a very long day and my dd gets very tired (she's finishing year 2)
b) she hates it - we've tried 3 different clubs over 2 years and she wants to be at home and complains nearly every day about going
c) they are not allowed to have homework time or even encourage them to read a book. As far as I can tell it's just a milling about holding pen for kids.
This means in practice we have very little time to do any homework with her.

I work full-time, so I'm not a SAHP with any sort of vested interest.

on the whole though, you have to make the best of it - most of us aren't rich enough or in a position to try and find something that's term time, school hours only.

BTW, my kids don't seem to mind it, but would they rather be at home? Of course!

We're going to have to use WC when dd starts school. I'm not happy about it despite her currently being in ft nursery.

It feels like a heavy day for her. I'd rather she was in a home setting so we might look at childminers but not sure about availability.

She will need WC 5 days a week which definitely make a me feel worse about it - the lack of respite for her.

It just feels shit sometimes that my dc are cared for by others 8-6 every day. The care (cm, schools, breakfast clubs) itself is great and I am very thankful for it. But at times I just feel sad about how little time I have with my dc in the week.

Never heard that people say they hate it.

I'd love it tbh but DC1 is severely disabled and there is nothing for her so I have no personal experience.

I have a few friends who use wraparound care - one has a really good childminder and the children love it. Another friend has a girl in reception. She goes to breakfast club, then school and after school to a privately run after school club. Her Dd is constantly I'll, looks tired and run down. I think it is a really long day for a 4 year old across 3 settings and I don't think I would want that for my child but I also understand my friend who is a lone parent without support and not everybody has choices.

Our after school runs from 1.30 on the last day of term. I had one day where I was working but I managed to get out to collect them about 2.30 feeing guilty I hadn't been able to go and get them straight from school last day of term. The youngest basically told me she didn't want to come home yet so I left her there! Took the oldest and did bits with her and went back a couple of hours later. I think I can safely say she enjoys it!