To ask why parents 'hate' wraparound care?

[TrueLove83]

I'm seeking to go back to work and looking into wraparound care (WC).

A couple of parents have said they hate sending their children to wraparound care?

Where has this hatred come from? It's certainly not the quality of WC offered as our school is oversubscribed and the kids rave about it - those kids that don't go (e.g. Mine at the moment don't go) are desperate to go because their friends go and say it's brilliant.

So is the hatred from the guilt a parent feels as being unable to collect their child everyday? I would be looking at WC for two days and I won't feel guilty because hopefully I'm working and making a living!

Apart from grandparents (who have not responded to my requests to ask if they can pick up one day) what is it people do? Childminder are an option?

I'm just fed up of hearing people say I hate WC I won't send my kids to WC

AIBU I don't understand

"Parents" don't hate sending their dc to wrap around care.
2 parents you have spoken to might, but that doesn't translate to 'parents'.
If you work, then it is what happens, for many families.

Rubbish at our two local schools too. Only a few kids, they are made to do homework, none of the kids really want to be there. I watch them dragging their feet and school bags behind the caregivers.
Other kids all feel sorry for the kids that have to do after school club.

I am sure not all schools are like that though.

I have never heard anyone say they 'hate' wraparound care. I have heard plenty of mothers wish they could work shorter/more flexible hours in order to see more of their children, but that's a totally different complaint.

I'm not convinced by the 'guilt' aspect either. I used the after-school club for DC1 and picked her up at 5 or 5:30. She used to scream at me that it was unfair she couldn't stay till 6. Occasionally I let her stay till 6 as a treat. I certainly didn't feel guilty. She was happy, I got my work done.

I imagine you'd have negative feelings if a) you didn't particularly enjoy your job, b) the care provider was a bit crap, c) your child was unhappy about going and d) it was expensive. In the absence of those factors, no qualms whatsoever.

I found that school/ wraparound care made for a much more tiring day than nursery. When I was working FT, the younger child at nursery had more space to relax and moderate his pace. The older one in reception class found the school day more draining anyway, then the room for childcare was cramped and busy. The ladies were lovely and did their best in the resources available to them. I can't compare with childminders from personal experience, although it wasn't my preference for the pre-school years.

I've become a SAHM for a few years for a variety of reasons, but one of the considerations was that DS found 50 hours per week in school/ childcare too exhausting (and didn't get the benefit of my undivided attention and energy after school/ weekends/ holidays either, but I'll save that for a teachers thread... )

Wrap around care was a practical means to an end. It is affected by the age spread of 4-11 year olds and the premises available.

I've never heard anyone "hating" it. It depends on the facilites and on the children. One of mine loves group activities, clubs and everything, I think he would even love boarding, but the other absolutely hates it and loves nothing more than peace and quiet in her own space.

When it was so hot, there was quite a few sad faces seeing their friends leave school to jump in their paddling pool whilst they were stuck on school grounds until 6pm. In the winter miserable months, they can have more fun at school. It's never black and white.

Thanks for you views. It is really useful to know people's thoughts

I guess you have to do what you feel is best

I don't know.

I send DS (almost 10) to the school's "summer day camp". They have a blast. Tons of outside time, crafts, field trips every week, helping out in the food shelf garden, walking to the senior center to play cards and swap stories with the pensioners. He LOVES it and is miffed I only send him 3x a week. (This is America, too, where he has no school all June, July, and August.)

My mom cannot let it go. She asks all the time if he really likes it in an incredulous voice. "Wouldn't he rather be at home, where he can just bike around and play with his friends?" is a common refrain. Well yes, but his friends either live far out of town on farms or are AT BLOODY DAY CAMP THEMSELVES. If he were at home he'd either be bored senseless or irritated at being stuck in the role of Big Helper since I also have a 4 year old and 2 year old of my own, and a 3 and 1.5 year old whom I mind 3x a week.

She seems to think it's like her childhood, when all kids were home all summer long, sleeping in and then biking to the pool to swim all day. It isn't that way anymore.

Sorry, that was a tangent It just seems people have a rosy view of the past and feel it should be the same...kids welcomed home at the end of a school day by a beaming mother wearing pearls and carrying a plate of freshly baked cookies.

The only parents who hate wrap around care in my experience are those who are SAHP to school age kids or very part time. Their precious DC couldn't possibly go to after school or child minder. Their children would hate it (no idea how they know this).

I have used both in the past. I had a preference for childminders when my ds,s were young as it seemed a more natural homely environment. But as always it depends on the quality of the provision. And the child.
My kids liked wraparound.

I work part time and my DC go to breakfast club and after school club on the days I work. It works well for us, but I can see that they wouldn't enjoy it if they had to go five days a week. Lots of kids and feels a bit like school. I think that if I worked full time, I'd prefer to use a nanny or a childminder (unless that was a lot more expensive) if that meant fewer kids and a more homely feel.

DD likes it mostly and they encourage the older DC to look out for the younger ones. Sometimes she says 'the big girls/boys played with me' which is lovely, as she's an only.

Their children would hate it (no idea how they know this)

Like everything else, you know your child! You know how tired they are after a "normal" day, how they enjoy group activities or not. Some kids are already upset about going to school, an even longer day wouldn't go down well. It's pretty obvious, isn't it?

You know the way people bob up here every so often and say something is 'only on Mumsnet' (recent examples include not putting photographs of your child on social media and parental concerns about a child being driven home from a playdate by a unaccompanied male stranger)? For me, the legendary guilt of the working mother comes in to this category -- not only have I never felt it myself, but I have never met anyone in the flesh who has expressed a sense of it. Obviously, this is because my friendship group, colleagues etc are self-selecting, but I realise I genuinely don't get it. Guilt implies you think you're doing something wrong, and surely we're past that stage with working mothers, DM aside?

I have never in my life heard anyone say they hated wraparound care, either.

It would depend on the quality of the wraparound care whether I used it.

As a kid, I went to an after school club in the school hall where we could do colouring, play board games or read our own books. We had water on days the kitchen staff had left the kitchen unlocked. I begged my mum to let me be a latchkey kid instead. I've heard parents of children at the ASC at DD's school saying that it's like that there as well; luckily DD has a space at a childminder but wraparound spaces are like gold dust here.

My sister's after school club took place in a leisure centre and had use of a playground, staff organising games, different toys, and regular maybe weekly activities like swimming or trampolining. I expect it cost quite a lot, but she loved it and was disappointed when she had to stop going.

I use wraparound care and I've never heard fo this "hatred! Child 1 goes to before and after clubs at her school and loves it (and does her homeworkd there! Bonus!) and child 2 goes to a childminder. He has a smashing time and she does way more with him than I would.

I'd imagine the "haters" are virtue-signalling.

WC for 5 days rather than the 2 you are considering is a very different thing. Guilt, missing your children, plus how tired it makes them are all potential downsides.

Never ever heard anyone say that.
I couldn't work without it. So I love it.

I don't hate it, but I did feel guilty using it when my dc were very young - seemed a long time for them to be out of the house and they got tired.

Having said that, they loved it! (I've worked throughout and used a combination of care - before and after school clubs were very economical and I had no complaints about the care).

Plenty of us don't consort with housewives and have no friends who are such and our full time working mother and friends of course have no problem with good wrap around care. It is those who don't use it and don't work who might well be the ones damaging their children !

Choose your friends carefully. It sounds ilke you hang out with a bunch of low or non earner women.

I wouldn't say low or non-earners! The one who said it is a GP!

BUT does use family for pick ups etc

Also when I said I'm putting my 2.5 year old in nursery responded and said she wouldn't trust a bunch of 16 year olds with her kid

I haven't heard any parents complaining about wraparound care. It's just something you have to do if both parents work.
We use a CM from 730-630 she takes Dd(7) to and from school and has her on the holidays too. We've used her since DD was 14 months and DD loves going there.

I don't hate it per se, and I'd consider using the breakfast club at our local school for a day or two a week if mine asked to go, as it seems nice and I've heard good reports. And it's only £1! It's just full wraparound care is a very long day for little ones. That's why I wouldn't want it at present, and DH and I have taken the opportunity to make sacrifices and choices to enable this. We do prefer us and family to do most of it, and we facilitate that for other family too.

Its the length of the day withiut getting to chill at home
But if you can't get a child minder then that's how it is.

Plenty of us don't consort with housewives...

Choose your friends carefully. It sounds ilke you hang out with a bunch of low or non earner women.

Whao, Lucysky,

Choose your friends carefully. It sounds ilke you hang out with a bunch of low or non earner women

Oh good fuck no! Low earning women, keep away from them at all costs!