To ask why parents 'hate' wraparound care?

[TrueLove83]

I'm seeking to go back to work and looking into wraparound care (WC).

A couple of parents have said they hate sending their children to wraparound care?

Where has this hatred come from? It's certainly not the quality of WC offered as our school is oversubscribed and the kids rave about it - those kids that don't go (e.g. Mine at the moment don't go) are desperate to go because their friends go and say it's brilliant.

So is the hatred from the guilt a parent feels as being unable to collect their child everyday? I would be looking at WC for two days and I won't feel guilty because hopefully I'm working and making a living!

Apart from grandparents (who have not responded to my requests to ask if they can pick up one day) what is it people do? Childminder are an option?

I'm just fed up of hearing people say I hate WC I won't send my kids to WC

AIBU I don't understand

I've considered the nanny option.

Concerned about holidays/NI/agency fees etc the overall costs of a nanny. But I don't think it would be too more expensive than nursery and wraparound (so youngest in nursery and eldest in wraparound). Also would be helpful in school holidays.

Just so much to think about.

Also I know my DH can't cut down his hours etc. He's tried before caught in a profession that demands long hours for success.

The argument is you step off that career ladder etc and take a step back but I've been a SAHM for 4 years now.

I really need to go back to work for my own mental health. It's not even the money.

It did worry me that a parent said they hate wraparound. But at the moment I don't see an alternative but I'll research nannys

I guess people feel... what is the actual point of having kids if you are just going to dump them from wake up to bedtime with someone else to doing all the parenting for you? Not my actual feelings as such bit I presume this is people's issues with it.

Coddiwomble- It isn't passive aggressive, it's the truth for my kids. One is autistic and she wants tablet all day here.

Mine are at club tonight and I am not even at work.

I am also lying in bed on my phone drinking a rum and coke at 1pm on a Tuesday. I am smug about that

I was an after school club manager in a primary school until recently. I made sure the children had lots of fun and enjoyed themselves. However, no matter how wonderful it was (and it was, lots of children who didn't need the care came for the odd session so they could join in) it was far too long a day for them. By the time they got home, had their dinner and got ready for bed they were asleep. I can't tell you the number of times children had spent the whole day in early bird club, school and then after school club and we're just desperate for some downtime, being home watching cartoons, getting cosy on the sofa, getting cuddles from family. It's just not the same. It also feels so much worse for them when they're feeling under the weather and all they want is their duvet and some hot chocolate! There's also something pretty eerie about being in a school that's deserted of everyone but you!

If it's for a day or two a week in my experience (depending on the age of the child) it tends to be fine. Any more than that, when they're at after school club more often than not it gets too much for most children. If it's only, say for an hour a day, that's not so bad. It's when they're there right up until 6pm that's a killer. You know how tired we get as adults when we worth a 12 hour shift? For a little person multiply that many times over and that's how they feel!

I certainly wouldn't do it to my children, but then I know some families don't have any choice. If you have to use them then there are some things you can do to help make it a happier place for your child! Get involved in the setting! Join in and help with fundraisers to buy beanbags for the children so they can nap if they need to. Buy them a DVD so if the children are really lagging they can all get cosy on the beanbags and watch something as a group. Do you what you can to help make it feel like a home from home. Also, get to know the staff. The better your relationship with them the more you will learn about how your child is getting on and this will allow you to best deal with any issues quickly as they arise.

Thanks my Pickle.

I'm also seeking a childminder so that the kids would be together after school and hopefully less hectic

I worked and managed different provisions in my 20's and some are better than others. I went to clubs, worked in clubs and send my only children to clubs (both when I have been in work and when I haven't).

People are always going to have different opinions and you should just go what you want to do OP. I feel like clubs have had a massive influence in improving my daughter with ASD's long term outcomes. They have made her be able to cope well with social situations and I genuinely think if she had never been then her asd symptoms would be significantly worse.

Another idea is clubs? Mine do gymnastics, archery and that type of thing? It's £18 a half term and they get to learn different things. They finish about 4.15 and then they go back in school club for 45 until pick up.

When DS1 was in reception, we relied on the before and after school clubs to enable DH and I to both stay in our jobs, as even with me working PT and both of us having flexitime, we weren't able to do school runs at the usual times. The provision was good and DS did enjoy it, but he got far too tired (he's moderately deaf so gets more tired than other children anyway) and struggled with that many different environments in one day. So I didn't hate it - it was a lifeline! - but I hated that we needed it. Even though he enjoyed it when he was there, he was really happy when I stopped work and he didn't have to go any more.

Yes but I think I would have to pay full wraparound even with clubs

We pay £7 for child 1 and £6 for child 2. I pay that every night and sometimes they go in to clubs until 4.15 which is £18 a half term. I suppose it is bit of cash, but at ours if you don't need it/they are off sick then you don't pay.

Also with length of hours when I was 3, we were out 8 until 5.30 with a 10 mile commute each way without parents in a taxi. That was at private school and completely normal. It never bothered me and I don't remember feeling tired.

Oh ours is £15 a session! It does include a proper hot meal though. It's 330-6pm (if required)

My DC when younger went to after school clubs and childminders a couple of days a week. Needs must. I wanted to work and my DM didn't want to commit to picking up on a regular basis. Those who judge are often lucky enough to have free grandparental childcare, are SAHP or work from home. Not all of us have those options. FWIW I think it's never too soon for DC to realise they are part of a bigger picture and have to fit into the pattern of a working family life.

I sent my son to begin with, he had loved his 3 days a week at nursery so much I didn't think it would be an issue.
But the club was rubbish. A few crappy toys and the staff who ran it were always just sat around staring at their phones rather than interacting with the kids.
I'd happily send him again if the clubs were high quality and enjoyable, but for now I have cut my hours.
So no issue with it in principle- but a lot of providers seem to just take money and do as little as possible for it. very difference from my experience of pre-school childcare which was excellent quality and truly caring.

Agree childminders are a mixed bag too, our local ones are universally grumpy. I have lovely friends
who child mind elsewhere in the country so am sure we are just unlucky!

I don't hate it at all. I hated the after school club because my son was bored, the staff were miserable and the food was rubbish. He now goes to an amazing childminder who he loves, he has a really nice group of friends to play with before and after school, he gets lovely home-cooked meals and I don't feel guilty in the slightest. If I didn't work or go to uni just so that I could do the school run, we would have no money and I wouldn't have good career prospects. I would also be bored being a SAHM. The right wraparound care can be a godsend for working parents.

I bloody love the kids after school club. It's at the community centre and they bus the kids there. It's a purpose designed space, lots to do, activities on offer every day, they have a substantial healthy snack and get involved in food prep some days. They come home with things they've made like play dough or cakes etc. They made stress balls last week and they love them.

They pick kids up at 3 and for 2.5 hours care it is £6.50 per child per day. Staff are gorgeous.

I thought mine might find it too long a day but on the days I finished early and picked them up early they complained and wanted to stay!

I wish mine had a club like that welsh !

I am very lucky, it's a fab provision.

Wow Welsh! And so reasonably priced.