Pink and blue at NURSERY

[creepymumweirdo]

WTF? Am I being thick/twattish here but why the hell would nursery do this?

They're thinking of having polo shirts for the kids so parents don't get upset if their kids clothes get messy (send your kid in scruffy clothes? Another issue). They have suggested pink polo shirts for girls and blue for boys.

Surely we're all trying to help kids break out of gender stereotypes not reinforce them? At 1 year old!

Some girls might genuinely like pink (I'm not one of them) and boys blue but why differentiate at all? Just pick a nice neutral colour that washes well and have done.

I've got my propper outraged face on right now. A rare thing.

AIBU?

How and why would you be proud of your gender? Yes I'm a woman, i don't have any issues with that, but proud? It's not really an achievement or anything, I was born this way without any effort from my side.

sports studies and jobs are available to them just the same

No. They're really not. I did a sports degree and am qualified in sports provision and can assure you the opportunities are NOT the same.

Every time a boy is told he "tackles like a girl", every time a boy is told "dancing is for sissies", every time a girl is told "only lezzas play rugby". THAT is was creeping genderisation does and it's the insidious nature of that starting at 1 (One FFS) that starts the stereotyping off.

YANBU. That would piss me right off.

YANBU there's no need at all. Just choose one colour for all, simple.

On another note Im about to have a boy and I hate the phrase 'man up' which DH uses a fair bit with DBIL. He just means 'suck it up' (trying to think of a nicer way to say that now that doesn't involve male genitalia) which I endorse... but don't want DS thinking 'throw like a girl' and 'grow a pair' are ok. It's not.

you might not be Katharina, and that's your right, but I am. It's an achievement to embrace it and achieve things in different ways and I want my kids to be the same. I don't want my daughter wondering why she has to dress like the boys if she doesn't want to, and vice-versa.

True, the only real difference at 3 is how you use the toilets, but you also prepare them for later and there's nothing wrong with that.

It's just a bit of fun, it's quite sweet really - no idea why it has to be made into something it is not.

This is just such a stupid statement. I'm sorry, I honestly can't tell if you are trolling or thick.

5 minutes of googling would give you a huge amount of studies on why this is a problem, since you've ignored all posters explaining the known concerns of gendering toys.

True, the only real difference at 3 is how you use the toilets, but you also prepare them for later and there's nothing wrong with tha

Good point. Best prepare the girls for a life time of catch up now. They'll only be disappointed otherwise.

But you're not preparing them for later by insisting all the girls wear pink and all the boys wear blue, Coddi. Can you imagine a standard adult workplace insisting on that?

I don't want my daughter wondering why she has to dress like the boys if she doesn't want to, and vice-versa

She/he doesn't. But if you define wearing blue as "dressing like a boy" then you're addled quite frankly.

If the nursery had said "we're bringing in pink/blue tees, your choice as to what colour your child wears" then there's less of an issue.

Can you really see nothing wrong with "you're a girl, you have to wear pink"?

But no+one is saying girls MUST dress like boys and vice versa. We are all saying it shouldn't even be a conversation anyone has. It's about how gender at ONE is a non-issue and shouldn't be discussed at all, not because we want "gender neutral" children but because we don't want our children to feel worried about other peoples' opinions because society have told them they should be.

Before marrying my husband I had several female partners. During that time people would often engage in conversations about my sexuality or expect me to attend "pride" events etc. which was always totally baffling to me. The fact that you say you're raising your children to be proud of their genders strikes me in the same way. I was not proud to be with a female nor am I proud to have married a man. It just is what it is. A non-issue.

Workplaces already impose makeup, hair and heels on their female employees. Maybe that's what coddie is trying to prepare the girls for

Nobody is saying that kids shouldn't know what sex they are. We are saying that they shouldnt be defined by colour. You can be a boy/man and still like pink. You can be a boy/ man and want to be a nurse, child minder, bricklayer etc . Whatever you want. Same with girls they can be architects, nurses, carpenters and wear blue.
What we object to is the fact that there are 'girls & boys' colours and toys. For example there are a million and one nerf gun varieties but they have a special limited range in pinks and purples for girls!

My minded kids (including girls) don't pick a gun to play with by colour they pick it by what it does when we have nerf wars. The girls play with football's too not once have I been asked why I don't have a pink one for them. So why do toy manufacturers insist on separating toys and why do people insist on separating kids by colour?

If you like pink it's fine but it shouldn't be forced on you just because you are a girl and vica versa.

YANBU. DD's nursery has two colors of polo shirts, blue and gray. The kids wear whichever they like or is clean that day - nothing to do with gender.

They could do pink and blue shirts and say choose the one you want but to specifically say pink for girls and blue for boys is ridiculous.

I firmly believe that our obsession with gender stereotyping is partly to blame for all the trans-kids coming out today. It's so enforced that girls should behave a certain way/like certain things, and boys something different, is it any wonder we have little girls who aren't "feminine" thinking they are boys, and boys who aren't "masculine" thinking they are girls?

Take "gender" (oppressive sex stereotypes) out of the equation and the world would be a happier place.

But nobody is telling girls they MUST dress 'like a boy', whatever that is anyway. The nursery is telling them that they MUST dress 'like a girl' and defined like a girl - in pink. Whether they want it or not. You see no problem there?

As others have said, loving yourself and being ok with your identity WHATEVER that is, is an important lesson for children to absorb innately. Expecting them to conform to society imposed gender norms is not helpful in this. Girls can be girls and boys can be boys but making them wear the clothes and do the things 'only boys/girls do' impedes their self-actualisation and limits their life chances.

Basically I want my children (girls and boys) to know this: you are you, not anyone else's idea of you.

SwedishToastyes, because female are the ones suffering there. Talk to the men wearing a suit shoes and socks for work in the recent heat wave while we can stroll around with bare legs and a tshirt. Bou hou, women are so hard done in real life. It's a shame that some people must see women as victims all the time, when it's so untrue. My girl will not be raised that way!

Coddi, do you have any thoughts on the points people have made here on the issue with gendering toys/clothes for young children? It sounds like you're saying "what's the problem with this?" and then ignoring anyone who answers.

If you want pink and blue then just buy those colours and tell parents to buy whichever colour they feel like. It's the pink is for girls and blue is for boys that's wrong with it. You're putting children in boxes before they've even started.

Bloody hell are you actually suggesting that because some men were hot for a few days that they are as hard done by as women?!

I hope coddi is a man. Female MRAs make me There's something quite pathetic about them.

So you're raising your DD to be a men's rights activist? Why?

I still don't understand what you mean by being proud of being a girl or boy. How is being born with XX chromosomes an achievement? It is what it is.

here we go, it has to be men vs women, you do realise that the war is in your own head?

I happen to be a woman, I look like one - as in long hair and "girly" outfits, I work in a so-called men environment in the city, so what's your point?

Not being afraid or ashamed of being female doesn't make you a "men's rights activist", do you realise how ridiculous and twisted you sound? We get you hate them, you have a "them" vs "us" vision of the wrold but don't generalise, some of us are very happy (and grateful) to live in this country of equality. Again, the Head of State is a female monarch, the PM is a female.. --
Who's the pathetic one?

Are you allowed to wear blue at work, Coddi?

Also, still curious about your thoughts on the points multiple people raised about the issues with gendering toys/clothes. Honestly, it is starting to look a teensy bit like you just want a fight rather than a discussion...