To not understand why so many mumsnetters are against people posting pics of children on Facebook!?

[thedavidsons]

I don't get it. Facebook is amazing for memories, everything is so easy to organise and track, I couldn't imagine not having pics of my children on there. I don't understand why so many mumsnetters are against it!?

Voice0fReason when i had fb, i never had any private info on there not even my date of birth!

Do you realise that when you post on facebook, the pictures can be downloaded without your permission? Then used for whatever that person wants? I did it recently to create a family photobook (which I cleared with everyone before printing), but the ease at which I could take other people's photos scared me.

I'm in my 50s. Occasionally post photos of my dc on FB. Only have rl friends and family on there so really no more of an issue than sharing digitally in any other way. And I can't think of a single one of my FB friends with dc who hasn't posted photos of them at some point. Isn't that half the point of FB - keeping in touch?

user1492324666 i only had select photos up that i shared with my limited friends and family. If someone wanted to download them fine. They certainly weren't interesting

Sashh well clearly teenagers need to be very careful with their social media settings, as do the rest of us.

Child and her mother thought they were. They thought only friends could see photos and other data, but because my friend had been tagged it let me see everything.

Why is it your business OP whether other people choose to post photos of their own children online? Why don't you just carry on doing what you want to do with your own DCs and allow others to use their own judgement for theirs? And talking about 'types' who don't consent to their children's photos being shared manages to be both rude and naive at the same time.

I don't know anyone in real life who doesn't post pictures of there kids on social media.

For me, it's just another batshit crazy MN bashing, like feeding 100 out of a small chicken

I use social media loads for work purposes but don't put up personal photos.
I don't knock anyone else who posts personal photos, and nobody else gives a shit that I'm not doing it. so I think IRL everyone is happy. Just to balance out the 'only on MN' idea...

I don't put photos of my kids on the internet or allow others to do so.

They are not my property and without knowing how they will feel about it I have erred on the side of caution and decided not to.

Once its out there, it is there forever.

I don't sweat it if they are in others photos or whatever, it just feels like their choice to make. We have hundreds of photos if they suddenly decide they want then out there, they will be available for them to do so.

It's the security that concerns me.

Someone upthread mentioned photoshopping silly photos. What an abuser will do is to take the face of a laughing, happy child and superimpose it on a photo of a child being abused. It allows the perverts viewing it to believe that myth that the children are enjoying abuse.
You may be fine with your child's image being used for that purpose; I am not.

There have been a number of tragedies recently in the UK. Not only have media trawled through FB to find pictures of victims, but there have been cases of trolls taking unrelated photos and posting them with messages "Missing: have you seen my brother?" etc. for attention. It's caused some distress for families who've seen their child's image used in this way.

There's bullying. Some years ago, my son's photo was on his school website because he won an award. Bullies used that photo to set up a fake FB account in his name. I won't go into details but I'm sure you can imagine the unpleasant time he had as a result.

Facebook own those images. They are not particularly careful with our data and they have the right to sell stuff on. I'm not happy about that.

I think it depends on the photos and also people privacy settings. Mine are strict and I'd never post nudity etc of my daughter but on the whole I agree with you.

It's a fantastic source for keeping everything in one place and to share with my family who live far away. As long as your settings are good and you don't have strangers on there, I don't see too much of a problem

I will never put photos of my DC online/on Facebook because:

1. DC haven't given consent.

1. I hate the thought of strangers/friends of friends having access to such photos. I know about Facebook's privacy settings, but I don't trust them. Feels like once the photos are online they are there forever, for all to see.

1. It's just unnecessary. If I want to share photos with family/friends I'll send them privately. I don't need 200 people I've not seen in the 20 years since I was at school to see the photos as well, & I assume they wouldn't care to.

1. Facebook feels like a 'rate my baby' competition to me - how many likes will this 1 get?! How many comments can this pull in?

I hate the mentality of 'publish every single detail of my whole life to see how much attention I can get for it'. And the sad thing is, it's not just our life we're publicising, it's our DC's as well.

It does seem to be one of the things I see on Mumsnet more than amongst the people I know in real life. Out of my 40-odd active Facebook friends who are parents or grandparents, there is just one who never posts any photos of his son (or even mentions him in any way).
And many of these people have huge numbers of Facebook 'friends', some of whom must be people they briefly met 20 years ago or something.

What's it got to do with you though? Maybe because we just don't want to? Maybe because there is a safety issue? Maybe because as parents we should be able to make that decision for our children till they turn 18? I make sure no one else in my family puts my children's picture up on FB either- happy for them to keep the pictures personally though of course. Maybe just repect other people's choices.

You do what you what with you children's pictures - let the rest of us decide for ourselves. HTH.

My husband doesnt want any photos of our future baby on FB (I'm currently 21 +3). I'm from the US, my entire family is there, although we live in the UK. FB would allow me to share photos with my incredibly large family quickly (I have at least 50 first cousins, 25 aunts and uncles, many great aunts and uncles, etc.). However, I heed my husbands warning. He's an engineer, but doing a second degree in software engineering, and he's unhappy with how little security and privacy you have over your own images once you post it online (no matter your security settings).

He just don't see the necessity of a baby/child having an internet presence before they're old enough to understand what its about. I get that, I'm 30, we didn't grow up with our photos being plastered all over the internet for anyone and everyone to see. Not sure why my daughter should have that now, because its available and easy. Instead we plan on having a Shutterfly account for our close family members in the US to visit, and we can easily send it to them on our iphones via iMessage. We also plan on doing professional photos of her when she's born, making a mini album, and sending them to close family members. We'd do that twice a year, and do Christmas family photos. We used to do this a lot when I was a child, and I still have the photos.

My mom and MIL don't have FB, and have set up a iMessage group with me and my husband for scan photos, info, etc. Its entirely possible to share your childrens' lives with your family, no matter the distance, without FB. I'm unsure why this is a problem to some people?

I'd also add, I know an even amount of people on FB who add lots of photos, and those who don't. A few of my friends didn't even announce they were pregnant, had given birth, etc. on FB. They're not on Mumsnet.

Because the children never consented to it?

Because it could be a security risk?

Because it's tacky and (shock horror) no-one cares about your kids pictures?

I don't get this fearmongering about pictures of children online being used as 'targets'. Targets for what? abuse? Why on earth would anybody pick a random picture of a random child on facebook to 'target'? How would they know their address, and why would they bother?! It's not like it's exactly hard for somebody with evil intent to find a child in real life, why would they want to search for one online?!

Have you never heard of online grooming?

I have an open Instagram account with a couple of pictures of nieces and nephews on there

I don't have instagram so does open mean no privacy settings so anybody can access your pictures, share/save them?

If that's what you mean that's really stupid.

Stranger danger is pretty much bollocks and your kids are most at risk from you, your DH and close family and friends than anyone else.

Yes tell that to the parents whose kids got targeted by online paedos...

I don't particularly disapprove of this, but I don't do it myself. I'm not much of a sharer on social media generally (though I do engage with it), so given I share very few of my own photos, it would be hypocritical to flood fb with pics of DS.

I have lots of very active Whatsapp groups for sharing photos though. I'm much more comfortable with that.

namechange I am posting pictures of my children on my account. My children don't have a fb account. There is no possible way that a stranger could use my Facebook account to groom my children online. And if somebody I know wanted to groom my kids in real life, then whether I post pictures of them online is neither here nor there. Online dangers are very real, but you are putting yourself at greatest risk if you focus on irrelevant scaremongering rather than the true risks to kids, which comes when they themselves get online - which is bugger all to do with this thread and the original question posed.