To not understand why so many mumsnetters are against people posting pics of children on Facebook!?

[thedavidsons]

I don't get it. Facebook is amazing for memories, everything is so easy to organise and track, I couldn't imagine not having pics of my children on there. I don't understand why so many mumsnetters are against it!?

I'm one of those people who tick the box for no photos or post pictures of my son on Facebook op.

I'm also one of those people who has a very good reason to do so in order to protect my son (adopted).

I'm also one of those people who is terrified of their child's picture name and location being posted for the world to see and the very people he is being protected from turning up to take him back.

HTH

I don't like the fact that it means they have a digital presence before they can even understand what the internet is. I don't like the fact that it gives FB rights over the image.
We don't know what FB will be doing in the future, or the fact that new ownership could allow those images to be used in unintended ways.
I follow advice from the experts who work with digital companies - the vast majority of whom protect their kids from being on FB.

Oh and targets doesn't just mean in an abusive type of way. A lot of the info people post without thinking makes it easier for financial theft.
Posting new baby images, first day of school and having pets and family posts gives address', place and date of birth, maiden names, pet names, name of school. Things that seem harmless at the time but could easily lead to identify theft later in life.

I don't like pictures tagging my children in places when they are there
Or pictures identifying where they live or go to school
Because I don't trust the security

I have no issue with people who do or don't allow photos of their kids to be published.

BUT.

If the kids are at school PLEASE TELL THEM that you've not given photo consent. It's a pain in the arse to be taking photos, or to have contracted a photographer to do so and to have kids that are not allowed jumping into photos, begging for their photo to be taken and 'spoiling' group shots because they aren't aware. Even more of a pain in the arse is to not tell your child, to have us tell your child - cue tears and tantrums - and then have you ball us out at the end of the day for upsetting your child (apparently 'no photo consent' actually means 'no photos except for photos going in the local newspaper and on a maths challenge website because they are ok as it's celebrating how brainy the child is' - who knew?)

Surely the issue depends on what type of photos and how many.

E.g. odd family day out, children in wellies enjoying themselves is probably fine and not embarassing. Something for a hobby achievement is also probably fine.

But taking 6 million photos of 'baby lying on the floor', 'baby wearing silly head bands', children in the paddling pool, children doing something cute but embarassing etc is probably over kill.

It's not just about what we do with photos and oversharing, it's about setting an example for our children when they use social media about what is and isn't appropriate. If you document every aspect of your child's life, they think that's normal, so they go on and do it. But that counters everything they are told about esafety when they get the school, and the risks. They are told 'what goes online, stays online' and to exercise caution. If your local police has a schools liaison officer it's worth talking to them. They are constantly trying to teach the risks and pitfalls, and picking up the pieces (bullying, trolling, unwanted approaches) when kids don't follow advice. We need to set good examples to future generations with how we behave online. IMHO!

Most people I know in RL do not like photos of their children being posted online. We're in our 30s.

I'd guessed OP was teens/early 20s.

I post photos of my kids on facebook and.now they're old enough take great pleasure in tagging them in timeline photos. My family live around the world and it's a great way to keep in touch. Most of my friends and family also post on facebook. And with security settings you can if you wish lock them down pretty well.

Stranger danger is pretty much bollocks and your kids are most at risk from you, your DH and close family and friends than anyone else.

Oh and our loacl paper and both my stsiters all print reception class photos - 3 different parts of the Uk.

Should add we are in our 40s and so is our friendship group.

Remember when we all had diaries and hated it if people read them? Now we post everything about our lives on Facebook and get angry when people don't?

By the by, for those people arguing that it doesn't matter because their privacy settings are tight is absolute bullshit.

Once you post a picture on the internet it lives in a server forever. Yes, even if you delete that picture off your Instagram or FB, that picture still exists somewhere and you never know when or if said pictures will be exploited.

As for posting pictures of your children... I'd have been horrified if my mum posted any pictures of me or revealed anything about our family life online. Taking away a child's right to anonymity and privacy is unforgiving.

I gave up on FB a long time ago.

I'm not on FB, so protective am I of my own privacy

It might be a MN thing in that maybe many of us who post on here are above averagely thoughtful, or above-averagely introverted

I just don't like the idea of posting photos of my children somewhere lots of people can see them. I know you can set privacy settings but I'm a bit crap with things like that and worry I might not do it properly. I do share photos with grandparents and occasionally other family members via email, but only if it's something special like a birthday or event.

I also have a bit of an obsessive nature and can see myself easily getting sucked into usinf it constantly, so it's easier for me to not use it at all.

I put loads of photos of DC up. I'm fairly careful about the photos I choose (nothing naked, nothing embarrassing).

Now DD is older I ask her too - can I put this on Facebook? If she says no, I don't. If she asked me to take a photo down retrospectively I would. It's on high privacy settings anyway. We talk about internet safety a lot but I don't think teaching her to hide online is the right way to do it, it's teaching her about privacy settings and not talking to strangers and keeping personal details private.

I think millennials have a different perception of sharing on the internet anyway and it's about teaching them how to operate in a digital world not hiding them from it. I'm secure in my knowledge of security settings and the idea that a potential boyfriend of dds in 5 years would be able to rifle through my old photos is pretty remote, even if there was something on there which would be an issue:

Consent. I consent to things on behalf of my child all the time because I think it's best interests to do so (e.g. Immunisations) but I just don't think posting photos of him on fb is in his best interests. It's a selfish act if you think about it. It's about what you want and not what your child may/may not want. If they're happy with the photos when they're old enough to understand, then great. But what if they're not?

I've seen birth announcements of friends-of-friends-of-friends on fb - people I've never met in my life - so I just don't trust the privacy settings and the idea that the photos can be easily shared makes me feel uneasy. I don't care whether people on mn "don't get it" because I don't know you or give a shit about what you do with photos of your kids. I care about doing what I believe is right for my DC. Why is it so hard to understand that some people think differently to you? I accept that people want to post photos of their children, why can't you see that some people don't? Why do you care so much about what they do or don't do?

I do share photos online with relatives overseas, so I don't really buy into the idea that fb is the one and only method of sharing info with distant relatives.

Oh and also I am a real-life person too and all of my real-life friends have respected my choice (my DH shares my view) not to post photos of my DC online - even if they post photos of their own. It has never been a problem.

Interesting thread. I've always regarded the MN cohort of 'no photos ' as barking. This thread has changed my mind as to their barkingness (although some reasons are to my mind more rational than others).

FWIW, my Facebook friends are mainly 40s and 50s and the vast majority share loads of cat pictures.

I don't. My child hasn't.got the choice so why is it ok to put his photo every where? I work in an early years setting, have done for 20 years and safeguarding is at the forefront of everything and now esafety. You have no idea who is copying your picture.or what they are doing with it. Most think their pictures are ok as their account is safe, but unless you keep them private for no one to see, they could travel the world in one day.

And yes, I also tick the no photographs at school and yes my child is the reason you can't video or take pictures. Why? Not because I like to spoil fun but because my ex tried to kill himself by overdose and my child by hanging at the same time. We moved out of area on police recommendation and he doesn't where we are.

So next time, rather than belittle or sneering at people who don't feel the need to overshare on social media, remember everyone has their own reasons that they don't want to do.something and like.my situation, may not share as there are people like you, who go ahead and share the shit out.of everything under the guise of "making memories".

I also didn't share previous to this because I'm aware not everyone shares the love.and admiration I do for my own child.and family.

I don't share pictures either, when they are 18 they can share whatever they like but upto then it's my choice.

Esafety is high on the agenda at the moment so there are risks involved with being public about children's life's.

As an adult I use FB but thankfully there is the hide button for those that post a constant stream of everything their chid does believing the whole world is waiting for the next instalment.

Nobody seems to have mentioned another reason - people who work with the public and have the opportunity to make enemies of dangerous, violent or vindictive people have good reason to keep pictures off their children off-line. People like police, social workers, DWP, prison officers etc.

You are clearly very young if Facebook was around when you were 10. And also very naïve to not understand why this is a privacy issue for many people. If you really aren’t mature enough to understand the implications perhaps you shouldn’t be using social media

It isn’t very much a mumsnet thing. It is a grown up, mature thing . Not everyone wants to live their lives in the public domain or through social media. What don’t you get about that? My daughter is 16 and has a more mature view about social media than you do.

You say don’t know anyone else who doesn’t share your views. My betting is that they are all very young and have grown up with social media.

“I've never seen or heard of photos of each reception class being printed in the local papers.”

Our local paper does this Assassinated

I get you OP - my FB profile is totally locked down - no one who isn't added by me as a friend can see it (no friends of friends can etc)

I have loads of pics of the kids - they love looking through them - they have never asked my to take any down (teenaged girls now - on FB since they were about 5 and 3) -Eldest did ask me to remove a picture on Twitter (which she had asked me to post years ago) and I did.

It's a little OTT to me to be so paranoid about it but it's up to each parent what they do.

I work for SS BTW - I don't add clients or ex client as friends!

I get the "privacy" thing, even though I don't particularly agree with it. I never post embarrassing pics of the kids though, just happy family snaps.

The "security" argument though is a bit unless you have genuine reasons for needing security such as not wanting an abusive ex to find you, or you're in the witness protection scheme or something. It plays into the "paedos are everywhere" mentality which I don't agree with either. My FB feed is friends only and my friends are just that - people I know personally, relatives, work colleagues. Not randoms from across the globe.

I'm a serial baby pic uploader. I love having my friends and family who we don't see able to join in my kid's life. I (probably naively) do believe that with my privacy settings, only my friends can see them (although really I don't know where these pictures really get to). I do, however, understand why some people don't want to post pictures. Each their own.