To not understand why so many mumsnetters are against people posting pics of children on Facebook!?

[thedavidsons]

I don't get it. Facebook is amazing for memories, everything is so easy to organise and track, I couldn't imagine not having pics of my children on there. I don't understand why so many mumsnetters are against it!?

Once your kids hit puberty they'll no doubt be posting dozens of selfies daily online. If they don't then their mates certainly willl.

I post an occasional photo of the children onto Facebook and that's it. I'm not on twitter or instagram or Snapchat. I think they'll be able to cope with that as they get older.

Because

1. When you post a photo on Facebook, you no longer own the copyright- facebook does. They can do whatever they want with your photos
2. my child is her own person and should have the right to make that decision themselves. She's still a toddler so until she can make that decision, I'm not going to do it

I never post photos of my children on face book because it could compromise their wellbeing.

I do post some pics, not a lot as I don't use FB much.

However I won't post any stories or info about them, no words, just a few pics for family to see. My eldest has ASD and I say absolutely nothing about that on FB, not a word.

I used to be in a FB group for girls with ASD and a person once wrote on it that she she was upset at the lack of support from FB friends on her own timeline when she posted about an issue her 14 year old daughter was having with hygiene and periods. I commented that I felt it was inappropriate to post that on fb and I was totally flamed for it, apparently only support was allowed on the group.

I think people post way tmi about their children, I do particularly notice it with my friends with children with ASD and I have a bigger issue with that than a few pics here and there.

Another thing I cannot stand is those stupid pics that have been altered, is it snapchat? Where like someone has added whiskers and ears etc? Bloody stupid looking and definitely adds potential for embarrassment later! I cringe every time I see those pictures.

My friend is doing an MA project about this very topic and has a questionnaire if anyone has a spare few minutes to complete it:

uelpsych.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_etH9qLPA1nYTXGl

Everyone I know IRL posts photos of their children, with one exception - he's a regular Facebook user but you wouldn't even know he had a child. I post photos from time to time but make sure they are set to Friends only, and no naked ones. It's nice for people I don't see very often to see them, and for me to see theirs. Hopefully my children will not be too distressed to think that 30-odd people have seen a picture of them building a sandcastle aged 3.

I am 38 and my mum still gets the photo album out occasionally - though I'm not sure if she actually showed her new boyfriend the graphic ones of my sister being born.

When we have sports day etc we are instructed not to post any photos on social media.

We won't for two reasons, and will actively discourage family to do the same. Due to DH's job role, they already insist on very restricted profiles at the risk of compromising your families safety. I have an ongoing issue with someone sending me strange and sometimes threatening emails that has never been properly resolved. I'd rather they didn't know about our lives, children, and potential location.

But I do realise these are two pretty strange circumstances!

I don't

Some of my friends do some don't

I find FB has its uses (keeping in touch with people I don't get to see ) but I rarely read posts

I don't want ds to feel validated by likes on FB which sadly I have seen with other children and adults

FB really does have an inhealty impact on many people's self esteem

Also it's not just photos - what about things parents have written, eg one friend posted a status update asking for advice about her DD who was struggling to make friends - and what about mum bloggers?

you just need to look at the pictures published in newspapers after unfortunate events.
some are clearly sold by fb taken off social media.

there are other ways of safely sharing photos with family/friends.

Mommagee that really tickled me... they want to block their child's face out but still crave the attention? Bizarre...

Schools are fairly careful over their Twitter feed, in my experience. My eldest's secondary school tweets regularly and puts in pics of hte kids but never their full name. So a pic of a child holding a cup with the caption "well done Jenny for your recent athletics success" or a group shot at an event with "Our S2 students at the Glasgow Uni open event".

There are pictures of children everywhere, in magazines advertising clothes, catalogues, TV.... it's a bit extreme to blame the exploitation of children's pictures purely on Facebook... but I agree settings need to be set to the highest privacy, and you really need to be aware of who is on your Facebook.

Another poster mentioned that some kids are growing up in their own version of The Trueman Show

That's very true and how utterly bizarre we thought this brilliant film was when it came out questions were asked could this happen

Yet to some degree it has and it doesn't seem so bizarre now that so many share so many details of their everyday life that are as boring as fuck to others unless they are bored

Can you imagine 20 years ago being told that you would share pictures online of what you had for breakfast, your child's tantrum, your child's new outfit, your child eating, shared how you are feeling, details of an argument and so on it would have seemed really odd and well self absorbed

I used to post pics on fb years ago when it was all so new but now hate having pics of me or my kids on fb. I don't care what people say about privacy settings if anyone on my news feed likes a pic I post it then appears on theirs and so on and so on. Pics of kids are used and abused (not the kid but their image) and that is reason enough for me to stop putting pics of them up. I would not want my kids face superimposed on a child abuse pic and this does happen. I hate the fact that when you google my 9 year olds name pics of her come up that I would have posted years ago and it upsets me knowing my daughter now and how she would hate that.

If you want to show family friends pics of your growing kids why don't people do it through what's app or viber, I know they are not fool proof either but the pics are far less likely to appear anywhere outside your whats app group.

My daughter had to watch a internet safety video for school the other week. It was cleverly done and showed a girl putting pics of herself on boards in her garden for everyone walking past to look at and snigger at and write comments on. It is so bizarre but that is what people are effectively doing every day that they post pics up on social media

I know someone whose infant daughter's photo was being used as a complete stranger's profile picture. It wasn't a pervert but a weird person who wanted attention for having a "cute kid."

The local newspaper in my city has more than once pulled pictures posted to Facebook groups and used them in articles and on their website.

OP. Until you get the reasons why posting photos of children on fb can actually be a bad thing, you don't get it.

Dh has a 'sensitive' job, and no I am not going to post what it is on an open forum. However people doing his job can and have been targeted because of it.

It's a requirement of his job that he does not have any identifying information out for viewing. And yes, that includes stuff like keyrings with photos on and mugs with pictures on or saying things like Daddy. Identifies him as a father then ergo he has children ergo the parents become a target through the children

And also extends to the children. So yeah, we are one of those families where the children don't appear in any photos, publications, videos e.t.c. And that includes their names.

Picture uploaded on fb of a school play- has the potential to identify the children, their school and their class. Not hard from there to do a bit of Internet stalking especially if people are lax with security settings and find out more about our kids than needs to be known

Photos of reception classes in the newspaper- also identifies the potential age of a child as well as the usual stuff

Photos uploaded by other people or photos you've been tagged in also can be used to find out about people. Usually by what's in the background not what the photo is itself.

There's a very good reason why the police ask people to send in photos people may have taken after a crime/terrorist incident/major incident has happened.

No social media is 100% secure. So have a serious think OP why some people choose not to post pictures online

And fwiw I've name changed to post this

I think the odd picture at a wedding, birthday or day out is fine.

The pictures I can't understand why parents share are ones when their children are sick, or on the loo or naked. To me that's such an invasion of privacy.

Plus I think some people are very naive when it's comes to security on FB. You are never 100% secure or private. Once those photos are online anybody can access them and they are impossible to remove.

So for me it depends on the photos being shared.

if anyone on my news feed likes a pic I post it then appears on theirs

Only if the photo is viewable to more than your friends list. If I like something on a friend's page, nobody on my list can see the photo unless it's set to 'public'.

I do post photos of DD on Facebook but usually only for a particular reason - e.g. wearing her Hallowe'en costume or decorating the Christmas tree, or if we're away somewhere. So the type of photos I'd share tend to be the type of photos I'd show to people in person as well, had I printed them out. If that makes sense.

So the type of photos I'd share tend to be the type of photos I'd show to people in person as well, had I printed them out. If that makes sense

But would you hand a copy of that photo of your child to the 100+ "friends" you have on fb? that is effectively what you are doing. There is a difference between showing someone a pic and handing them a copy of it

I don't think it's a "mumsnet thing", a lot of my friends with kids don't post photos of them on social media, and then a lot of them do, like a photo album for every month of each child's first year.

Half of my friends list I probably wouldn't stop and speak to if I saw them in he street so I don't really want them knowing details of my private life and seeing my DCs. I don't spend much time on social media to do a cull or anything and barely use it.

But would you hand a copy of that photo of your child to the 100+ "friends" you have on fb?

Well, no, but only because most of them wouldn't particularly want a hard copy of it. If each of them did have a hard copy though, it wouldn't particularly bother me because of the nature of the photos. There's nothing personal or potentially embarrassing about them - they're the type of photos you might put on the fridge or have framed. Same as when DD was flower girl at my sister's wedding - most of the guests would have photos of her from it.

Mommagee that really tickled me... they want to block their child's face out but still crave the attention? Bizarre...

Yup. It seems like a look at me I'm so good if never show my children on FB. As opposed to lots of friends who just incidentally don't but don't make a thing of it

ExlteveDallas yes exactly this- please tell your child if you have not consented to photos!