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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wear a stunning figure hugging dress to a close friends wedding

855 replies

user1498221998 · 27/06/2017 17:59

My friend and I were both 16 stone this time 2 years ago. We both went on a diet and two years ,later I am now 10 stone and a size 10. She is still 16 stone and a size 18.

It's her wedding next Saturday and I showed my intended outfit to my Mum who said that while it looked beautiful I should wear something plainer and less figure hugging as almost everyone there hasn't seen me for over a year, doesn't know about my weight loss and I will attract too much attention away from the bride with my huge weight loss.

Do you think my Mum is right?

My friend will look beautiful anyway, so I don't see why I should have to deliberately look plain for her wedding!

My mum says it's 'rubbing it in' because she desperately wanted to be slim for her wedding. But that is not my fault.

OP posts:
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Helpme214 · 28/06/2017 11:39

I swear there's some kind of "girl code" that some girls expect us, as their friends to abide by. This seems to fall into it. The whole "don't wear a figure hugging dress at your friend's wedding which will showcase your weight loss because its her day not yours and it might hurt her feelings" is an absolute joke. She doesn't owe that to her friend just because her friend didn't manage to lose weight.

This girl code type stuff is something I will not be a part of. Being a good friend doesn't mean trying not to look too good at their wedding. It's about being there for your friends, supporting them and being loyal to them. It's about celebrating their successes and them celebrating yours. This whole nonsense is a step too far! Life takes unexpected turns. It sounds like life is going well just now for you and your friend and that in itself is a reason to both be happy. I'm sure you're delighted for your friend that she's marrying the man of her dreams, as she should be that you've done so well to lose weight. These are both things to be pleased for each other about. That is true friendship.

NameChangr678 · 28/06/2017 11:39

And a cheating husband

NameChangr678 · 28/06/2017 11:40

The whole "don't wear a figure hugging dress at your friend's wedding which will showcase your weight loss because its her day not yours and it might hurt her feelings" is an absolute joke. She doesn't owe that to her friend just because her friend didn't manage to lose weight.

EXACTLY

TaraCarter · 28/06/2017 11:42

The groom's fidelity will be the bump in a few pages' time.

Can't think what you mean.

Laiste · 28/06/2017 11:51

Ah the groom! Or some errant DH. I'd forgotten that one Grin

PollytheDolly · 28/06/2017 12:36

Can I just see the darn dress!!??? 😩

toffeeboffin · 28/06/2017 12:39

Has the dress been posted yet?

toffeeboffin · 28/06/2017 12:40

Cheating husband?

What did I miss now?!

Morphene · 28/06/2017 12:41

fucking hell this thread is grim.

Imagine how powerful women might be if they weren't spending so much processing power computing the infinite variations of social messages sent out by each clothing choice they make?

I suggest we spend as much time thinking about the impact of our clothing choices on our friends as men do. I suspect this is about 1% of our current level.

HalfShellHero · 28/06/2017 13:11

I think its a shame people arent raised with dignity and decorum anymore its not about not being pretty or good looking at your friends wedding there are many varieties of perfectly suitable occasion dresses and are off the shoulder really nice looking on etc. But above the knee overly tight has never been appropriate for weddings.

HalfShellHero · 28/06/2017 13:13

And IT IS the Brides day!!!

sunshineandrainbowsparkles · 28/06/2017 13:18

I'm surprised she's even invited you tbf, bet she didn't want toBlushdon't be a cow and make her feel worse! I expect nothing more than rags.

kel1234 · 28/06/2017 13:20

Op, it's great you've done so well. And while I understand what others have said, I think that when going to a wedding guests should dress appropriately, and perhaps a figure hugging dress is not quite right.
Secondly I also think it's not so much about what you're wearing, as yes the bride should always be centre of attention on her wedding day. I think it's more a matter of if you wear such a dress to the wedding, it won't be so much a case or upstaging the bride in terms of clothing, it will be more the fact that you may take some of the focus or attention from the bride. People will be paying more attention to you and your weight loss, and may not forget in the literal sense, but it will be an alternative focus. It may be seen as you trying to steal the limelight a bit.
Sorry if I've offended but I wouldn't do it personally.

VulvalHeadMistress · 28/06/2017 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maxandrubyrubyandmax · 28/06/2017 13:37

So here is how I predict the post to progress. The OP will turn up at the wedding in her "stunning figure hugging dress" that's like the one she showed us but longer, less lace and a different colour (ie nothing like it but apparently she cant take a pic and upload it) the groom will be so egged on by her fantastic figure, he will dump the bride, cheered on by his mum, who always hated the bride to be anyway in a passive aggressive manner. To top it all they will refuse to return the money that they asked for as a wedding gift in a poem much to the disgust of a person who was only invited to the evening do and paid an extortionate amount for the hotel room. Luckily no kids will witness this as no kids were allowed apart from the brides cousins 5 years old who inevitably spilled orange juice over the wedding dress.

Fast forward several months - the ex bride will decide she is gender neutral and have doubts about her sexuality and start an affair with the skinny ex best friend. The ex groom will get suspicious and post on mumsnet, he will be promptly told its his fault for not doing the hoovering often enough. He will get depressed and live off benefits and refuse to pay child maintenance for the kids carried by the ex wife and skinny friend as they refuse to do a DNA test to prove he is the father. All the above will be his fault.

Although its a mumsnet wet dream - please OP wont you think about the children and wear a sack to the wedding????

user1498221998 · 28/06/2017 13:38

I feel I should come back to this thread with a comment but I got bored after the first 4 pages! Grin

I have decided to wear the dress and will enjoy the day looking fav. It's a perfectly reasonable choice of dress and it doesnt look like I'm off clubbing when I wear it! I'm sure the bride won't even notice.

OP posts:
user1498221998 · 28/06/2017 13:38

Thanks for replies. I'm stunned this got so many!

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 28/06/2017 13:40

Good. Enjoy your dress and the day OP.

FatGirlWithChocolate · 28/06/2017 13:40

I know how it feels to lose a lot of weight (despite my name ;) ) and want to make the most of that..but..This is your friends ONE really special day where, rightly, she gets to be the centre of attention. Be a friend and let her have that. There will be another day where it can be you, and everyone can ooh and ahh over your fantastic achievement, but it shouldn't be her day OP.

NameChangr678 · 28/06/2017 13:41

*So here is how I predict the post to progress. The OP will turn up at the wedding in her "stunning figure hugging dress" that's like the one she showed us but longer, less lace and a different colour (ie nothing like it but apparently she cant take a pic and upload it) the groom will be so egged on by her fantastic figure, he will dump the bride, cheered on by his mum, who always hated the bride to be anyway in a passive aggressive manner. To top it all they will refuse to return the money that they asked for as a wedding gift in a poem much to the disgust of a person who was only invited to the evening do and paid an extortionate amount for the hotel room. Luckily no kids will witness this as no kids were allowed apart from the brides cousins 5 years old who inevitably spilled orange juice over the wedding dress.

Fast forward several months - the ex bride will decide she is gender neutral and have doubts about her sexuality and start an affair with the skinny ex best friend. The ex groom will get suspicious and post on mumsnet, he will be promptly told its his fault for not doing the hoovering often enough. He will get depressed and live off benefits and refuse to pay child maintenance for the kids carried by the ex wife and skinny friend as they refuse to do a DNA test to prove he is the father. All the above will be his fault.

Although its a mumsnet wet dream - please OP wont you think about the children and wear a sack to the wedding????*

Hahahahahaha 10/10 Star

Good on you OP! Smile

Foxysoxy01 · 28/06/2017 13:42

Do update us after the wedding won't you.

user1498221998 · 28/06/2017 13:51

I will update after the wedding. Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
WeddingSlut · 28/06/2017 13:58

Dear OP,

I once (years ago) wore this dress to a good friend's wedding.

I'd never even heard of the phrase "upstaging the bride". In my mind, there was no comparison - she was the bride! How could anything little old me did have any impact? I just wore something which looked nice on me, and got on with it.

15 years later, her mum still talks about it.

Be warned.

To wear a stunning figure hugging dress to a close friends wedding
Coddiwomple · 28/06/2017 14:03

weddingslut you have posted a photo of THE ACTUAL DRESS you were wearing!
You are completely derailing the thread now, shame on you.

WeddingSlut · 28/06/2017 14:07

I'm sorry Coddi Blush

It was like this, but tight red lycra, a different shape, and had showed off the edge of my bra...

To wear a stunning figure hugging dress to a close friends wedding
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